Transitions Life Coaching

I thought this was beautiful and wanted to share…

“Perhaps our “life's purpose” has nothing to do with what job we will find, what new thing we will manifest or attract for ourselves, or what mythical awakening journey we will complete.

Perhaps the purpose of our life is to fully live, finally, to touch each here and now moment with our presence and with the gift of our one, wild heart.

And to do whatever we can to help others, to hold them when they are hurting, to listen carefully to their stories and the ways they are attempting to make sense of a world that has gone a bit mad.

To speak kind words and not forget the erupting miracle of the other as it appears in front of us. Perhaps this is the most radical gift that we can all give."

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- Matt Licata

Listening to Someone Who’s Grieving

It’s hard to know how to support someone who’s grieving a loss. The best thing you can do is be a good listener.

Often, grievers just want to be seen and heard during their emotionally difficult time, and being able to hold that space for them is an invaluable gift.

1. Be Present.
In our every day experience we can tell when someone isn’t focused on our conversation. How does that make you feel?
Now imagine a friend is going through an unimaginable loss and we are distracted.
They may not want to share because they can tell we aren’t fully present, and this can increase their feelings of loneliness or isolation

2. Be Patient.
Most of us find it difficult to share our feelings at the best of times. Grief takes time to process and everyone experiences it at their own pace.
Contrary to what most people think, grief is not a series of stages, and there is no timetable

3. Take Your Cue From Them:
Some take comfort in remembering their loved one and want to talk about them. Others may not be ready to talk about their loss. They may need more time to process and reach out to you when they’re ready. If you’re not sure, ask.

4. Don’t Compare Losses:
“I Know How You Feel” is one of the most annoying/infuriating phrases grievers hear. The truth is we DON’T know how someone else feels, even if we’ve experienced a similar loss

Acknowledging that we don’t know how a person feels and offering to listen and do our best to understand can help them feel more supported in their grief.

Kirsten Frey
Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
www.tlclifecoaching.com

At some point in our lives, every one of us will have an experience that rocks us to our core...that pushes us past our to cope.

It can either be a situation we've been living with for a long time, or a sudden event that completely overwhelms us.
These experiences have the power to bring us to our knees and fundamentally change us.

Our mind tries to keep us safe...it rejects, ignores, pushes against, and maneuvers around the emotions we don't want to feel.

We suffer because we "fight" the reality of what is.
We resist the natural we have to that change/loss we are experiencing.

Until the time comes when we can't resist or fight anymore.

Either because it's too painful, or because we know in our hearts that it's futile.

And we surrender.

Surrender happens when we know we can't think or see our way through where we are.
All we know is that we CAN'T keep doing it the way we've been doing it, a minute longer.

Surrender often comes with a great sense of relief, ease, and peace.
It doesn't mean the situation is any easier or better, but we know we can't "fix" it .

And weirdly, that's when something deep within us relaxes, acknowledging we don't know the way.

This is what I call the 'softening'.
It's the end of conflict with yourself and the space that can begin.

When you're ready to heal, I'm here to listen.

Kirsten💜

*Transformational Life Coach
*Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Method Specialist
*Reiki Guide

www.tlclifecoaching.com

I can easily remember times in my life when people close to me tried to give me information, advice, or offer something I just wasn’t ready to hear or accept.

Sometimes it was timing.
Usually it was resistance.

It must have been so frustrating and stressful for them to watch me move through what I needed to.

To learn from the choices I made, and the actions (or lack of action) I took, even when it was to my detriment.

It’s important to recognize that we all come into our healing in our own time.

That there may be purpose in the pain we experience through our resistance.

So when we are the helpers, it’s important to remember that healthy boundaries are necessary for healthy relationships.

I know…they can be challenging to practice!

But necessary for our own health and wellbeing.

Kirsten💖

PRICELESS!! Sending gratitude to all the wonderful people who share my life. I love you and I’m thankful for your part in my journey🙏🏻💖

Have a wonderful day, Friends!

Kirsten xo

Having been the recipient of SO much kindness in my life , I thought this would be a good reminder.

The smallest, most simple gesture can brighten someone’s day and is the 🔑 to connection.
Try one (or more) of these:

1. Really listen - and avoid checking your phone when someone is sitting across from you

2. Share a book that had a positive impact on you

3. Express sincere gratitude

4. Give someone the benefit of the doubt

5. Smile at a stranger

6. Compliment a loved one

7. Thank someone who’s making a difference

Kindness really does matter!💕

Have a wonderful day today & and enjoy the upcoming week!

Kirsten xo

I know...this is tough to do when we're moving through one the many tunnels of change, transition, or loss that we'll all experience in this life of ours.

Change, especially when it's not our choice, can create a lot of conflicting emotions that may be difficult or painful.

We tend to avoid those uncomfortable emotions because most of us were never taught that it was normal, natural, and okay to FEEL our feelings!

Instead, we learn to numb ourselves...with food, alcohol, drugs, s*x, work, social media, online shopping, and gaming, etc.

We default to intellectualizing our experience, believing that if we can just understand WHY, we'll find acceptance and move on.

But feelings aren't logical, so using our head to heal our heart is the wrong tool for the job.

Emotions are messengers that carry important information for us if we are willing to listen.

And if we're able to listen with kindness and compassion, they can be the catalyst to our greatest growth and healing.❤️

Kirsten Frey
Advanced Certified GRM Specialist
[email protected]

Sometimes we need someone to just listen.

Not try to fix anything or offer alternatives, but to just be there…to listen.

“An ear that listens can be medicine for a heart that hurts” (Steve Maraboli)

I’m here when you’re ready.

Kirsten ❤️

Because we are thoughtful, loving, human beings we sometimes take on the experiences, feelings, or responsibilities of others.

Especially those closest to us.

Today’s message is a gentle reminder that we can only take on what is ours to own.

We can’t take someone’s else’s pain, or the learnings that come from their circumstances.

What we can do is be willing to listen without judging, analyzing, or “fixing”.

ESPECIALLY when we don’t see it ourselves!

When we move through a stressful challenging time, we can lose confidence and begin to doubt ourselves.

We naturally contract in order to process what’s happened and to take time to heal.
This is an important and necessary part of the process.

It’s equally important to allow others to support us during this time.

Not to “fix” or take away the pain of the situation, but to patiently hold space for us.

To let us move through the normal range of emotions that come up with any significant change or loss.

To listen.

And to remind us of our greatness when we can’t see it for ourselves.🌟

Kirsten

www.tlclifecoaching.com