Women's Divorce Academy

There's a website where people go to write the letter they're never going to send.

Rachel Smith has run Letter To My Ex for more than a decade. The letters are filed under headings like "what I wish I'd told you", "still heartbroken", and "my awesome new life".

The part she didn't plan for was the community. Readers turn up in the comments to tell a stranger they've been through the same thing.

That counts for more than it sounds like it should. The people who love you will run out of steam long before you're finished talking about it. Somewhere nobody is sick of your story yet does real work.

Full conversation with Rachel is on the podcast: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/podcast

If you could write one sentence to an ex, knowing they'd never read it, what would it say?

This is the part nobody warns you about.

You can get the property settlement sorted, the parenting plan signed, the house on the market – and still be lying awake trying to work out what actually happened.

Rachel Smith has read thousands of letters from people stuck in exactly that spot. Her view is that the understanding you're waiting for probably isn't coming.

That sounds bleak. It's the opposite. Once you stop waiting for the explanation, you get to spend that energy on something that's actually yours.

Full conversation is on the podcast. Link in bio.

New episode is up today, and it's about the question that keeps women awake at night. Why?

I talked to Rachel Smith, who runs Letter To My Ex – a website where thousands of people from all over the world have written the letter they were never going to send. Some are furious. Some are devastating. A surprising number are hilarious.

Rachel's view on closure is a hard one. Most of us never get the explanation we're waiting for. What we can get is perspective, and a lot of that comes from writing it down.

We covered why chasing the truth usually makes things worse, what writing does that talking can't, and where to start when the page is blank and your head's a mess.

Have a listen here: https://www.womensdivorceacademy.com/podcast

Did you ever get an explanation you could live with?

I want to say something to the woman who is still there.

You've been told, probably more than once, that if it were really that bad you'd have gone by now. Maybe you've said it to yourself in the dark.

Here's what I'd like you to consider instead.

You've done the maths. You've worked out what two households cost in this rental market. You've thought about the children, the school, the mortgage, the super, and what would be left. And you concluded that the numbers don't work. Yet.

That's not weakness. That's competence, applied to a situation you understandably did not plan for.

The thing that changes it isn't courage. It's information – knowing what's actually there instead of what you've assumed, and knowing what you might be entitled to.

That's most of what we do inside Women's Divorce Academy. Not decisions. Clarity.

What is it costing you to stay? DM me for more info on how I can help.

I spent most of my career as a journalist – specialising in women's news, health, parenting, and finance. My favourite part was always the interviews. Women doing remarkable things, helping other women. That thread has never left me.

Getting diagnosed with ADHD at 48 also changed a lot. It gave me a language for things I'd struggled with for years – and confirmed that working for myself was never optional. I do not belong in a hierarchical structure!

Swipe through to see how all of it led to Women's Divorce Academy.

And tell me – did you have a career plot twist you didn't see coming? I'd love to hear it.

Two women told me the same thing this month.

One has almost nothing. One has a house in a good school zone, superannuation, and a professional income.

Both said they can't afford to leave.

On paper they have nothing in common. Underneath, the structure is identical.

She's the one who went part time. She's the one whose super has a decade-long hole in it because she raised the children. She's the one who took the flexible job so his career could keep moving.

That isn't a personal failing. It's a design.

What frustrates me is that these women are largely invisible in the research. The data on financial barriers points at lower income households, and rightly so – they're in the hardest position by a distance. But there's a whole group of women with equity and super who feel every bit as stuck, and nobody has quantified why.

If this is you, in either version – I see it. Help is available, drop me a DM to learn more or head to womensdivorceacademy.com

"Just leave" sounds like a great idea, but there are so many reasons it's more complicated than that.

The threat of violence, coercive control, money and a lack of options can all add to the burden of wanting to start a new life. This week's blog post breaks down what it costs, the free resources available, and some of your options.

If you're wondering how you'll ever get there, this one is for you. xx

Can't afford to leave? What it costs in 2026 — Women's Divorce Academy Leaving means funding a second household – around $7017 in 2026. Here's what the data shows, plus three free places to start if you're doing the sums.

There's no perfect thing to say to your kids about the divorce. There's a next-best thing – and most of us are left guessing at it alone, usually late at night, usually after a question we didn't see coming.

"Why don't you live together anymore?" "Is this my fault?" "Are you okay?" These moments don't wait until you feel ready for them.

I put together a free guide called What to say to your kids right now – honest, age-appropriate scripts for exactly these conversations. It won't cover every situation your family will face. No guide could. But it gives you somewhere steadier to start than silence, or an answer you'll rethink later.

If you've ever sat in the car after drop-off wishing you'd said something differently, this is for you.

Grab your free copy – link in the comments.

What's a question your kids have asked that caught you off guard? I'd love to hear.

If your child has ADHD – or you do – divorce comes with a few extra layers that most parenting advice doesn't touch.

I wrote an article about everything Sharon Collon shared with me this week: why transitions cost the ADHD brain more than we realise, how to run a family meeting nobody dreads, and what actually helps when your child comes home overstimulated after time with their other parent.

None of it needs a perfect co-parenting relationship. A few small, visual, predictable anchors are usually enough.

Read the full article – link in the comments.

What's one thing about parenting through divorce that standard advice never seemed to account for?

Parenting a child with ADHD after divorce — Women's Divorce Academy How divorce affects kids with ADHD differently – and practical, doable ways to help them feel secure across two homes.