Women's Divorce Academy

08/10/2026

I find myself saying a version of this almost every week to someone about their divorce: do not agree to anything until you've spoken to a lawyer and understand your position.

Family lawyer Ella Hickman says the same, and she has a great reason for it. The agreement itself isn't the problem. It's what happens in your ex's head once they've heard a number.

More from Ella on keeping your legal costs down on the latest Divorce With Carolyn. Link in bio and comments. xx

08/10/2026

Ask your lawyer questions. Push back when something doesn't make sense to you. That's part of what you're paying for.

But when your lawyer tells you an application won't get off the ground and you want to run it anyway, that's often emotion making the call. Family lawyer Ella Hickman sees it more than you'd expect, and it can cost you twice.

More from Ella on keeping your legal costs down on the latest Divorce With Carolyn. Link in bio. xx

06/10/2026

Ella Hickman from has had clients wrap up their matter for about $3000, and clients who've spent $200,000.

Not all of that difference is in your control – how your ex responds, what comes up along the way, whether it ends up in court.

Some of it is. These are five ways Ella sees legal bills grow that you can do something about.

The full conversation is on Divorce With Carolyn – link in bio and comments. xx

06/10/2026

Ella Hickman (00:00)
I know I've got this policy,

with my own life and and and I say to my clients, So you need to love your kids more than you hate your ex And

Carolyn (00:07)
Yeah.

Ella Hickman (00:07)
I think if you remember that, always have that in your mind. This is what my kids will feel if I go down this path.

no one wants to hurt their kids. Like, do you think you could maybe you wanna stick it to your ex a bit? Yeah, of course. We all think that. we're human. Of course we think that. But no one no one looks at these beautiful little people that we've created and think we want to hurt them. So, like the problem is this sort of stuff, being involved in this sort of conflict, it does. That's what all the research tells us.

Carolyn (00:31)
Yeah,

01/10/2026

After seven years working with women going through divorce, I have some opinions.

Some of them might be universal and undeniable. Some of them less so (I know at least one that makes exes HATE me!).

All of them come from watching what happens when women are well-informed – and what happens when they're not.

Swipe through for the full list. And drop your own hot take in the comments – I want to hear it!

01/10/2026

There is SO MUCH information out there about divorce – but how do you get it into some sort of order you can follow?

You don't need to know everything about divorce. I hope you never have to. You need to know what matters to you right now, and who to ask for help with it.

That's all the TRUST Method is. Five stages, in order, and a trail through the noise.

If you're a Women's Divorce Academy member, the whole support library is now built around those five stages, so you find your stage and start there instead of hunting through a library for what applies to you.

If you're not, start with the free stage finder quiz at womensdivorceacademy.com/trust. Three minutes, and you'll know exactly what stage you're at.

Link in bio and comments.

Take the TRUST Method quiz The Women’s Divorce Academy TRUST Method "Where do I start?" It's the question I'm asked more than any other. The TRUST Method is my answer – five stages, in order, so you always know what comes first. If you're here, you may be wondering:Where do I even start?Do I nee...

29/09/2026

The sums you do at your kitchen table in the first weeks are the ones that follow you for years.

Mine went like this: a lawyer costs money I don't have, so a lawyer isn't an option. I never tested it. I didn't ring around, didn't ask what a first appointment costs, didn't look up whether there was free help.

So I worked instead, for a year, with no support coming in, until my best friend's marriage ended and I watched her do it properly.

Finding out where you stand is not the same as making a decision. It's the thing that makes the decision possible.

Save this for the next time you talk yourself out of asking.

The new episode is up – the five stages of the TRUST Method, and what to deal with first at each one. Link in bio and comments.

29/09/2026

"Where do I start?" is the question I'm asked more than any other.

Here's my answer.

Everything we do at Women's Divorce Academy sits on one path. Five stages, in order, from the day you start wondering whether your relationship is over, right through to the part where life looks good again. I call it the TRUST Method.

It came out of seven years of working with women through separation and divorce – around a thousand of them – and interviews with more than 40 experts. Family lawyers, financial specialists, psychologists, mediators, parenting coaches.

Our support library is now built stage by stage, in that order. You find your stage, and you start there. One thing at a time.

And it's useful well beyond the membership. Even if you never join us, I want you to have this, because it takes something enormous and breaks it into pieces you can actually carry.

The full episode walks through all five stages, and what to deal with first in each one. Link in bio and comments.

28/09/2026

"Where do I start?" is the question I'm asked more than any other, and this one is my whole answer to it.

It's the TRUST Method – the five stages we walk women through at Women's Divorce Academy, from the day you start wondering whether your relationship is over, right through to the part where life looks good again.

I take you through all five, what matters in each one, and the four threads that run underneath them all so nothing gets dropped while you're dealing with whatever is loudest this week.

I also tell you about the year I spent doing nothing because I didn't think I could afford a lawyer, and the wedding present that cost me my first home buyer's grant.

If everything has landed at once and every person in your life has a different opinion about it, start here.

Link in bio and comments.

28/09/2026

When someone offers to help, it's tempting to say you're fine.

knows that feeling well. After her separation, her parents offered to help, and she tried very hard to say no.

What changed her thinking was looking at it from the other side.

People who offer aren't saying it because they feel they should. They want to help – and helping makes them feel good.

That shift took the edge off the guilt. And the pride – the voice that says you should be able to do all of this on your own.

You can't. Separation is one of the hardest things you'll go through, and with kids in the picture it's harder again.

Mel's bottom line: say yes. Accept it, and move on.

Hear the full conversation on Divorce With Carolyn – link in bio and in comments.