06/20/2020
Love this graphic! Relationships involve two people whose needs are both important. The relationship children develop with their parents are a template upon which all future relationships are built. To teach children their needs matter above all else actually does them a disservice in their future relationships.
It is unkind to ignore our own needs, wants, and boundaries. It is not only unkind to us, but also to the people we neglect ourselves in order to serve.
Unconsciously, this sews resentment into our relationships with them. With children, we are more likely to have thoughts like “I’ve given up so much for you!” and “I bend over backward to give you what you want. Why can’t you give me what I want?” and “I swear if I have to hear that song one more time I’m going to freak out.” This makes it difficult to show up with kindness and patience.
Parenting is about creating a relationship with another person. By constantly ignoring our wants, we essentially erase ourselves from the relationship, preventing us from honest, authentic connection.
This makes us more likely to fall into manipulative patterns like distraction (Oh look! Did you see that blue bird? Will you please forget about what you just asked me for?) or lying (Oh no, the radio’s broken. Guess we can’t listen to wheels on the bus anymore ever again for the rest of our lives).
Children deserve to engage with a parent who is free of resentment. Honestly communicating our needs allows us to be fully present.
What do you feel you’re not allowed to want? 👇🏽
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