18/10/2021
Conscious, gentle, positive, holistic parenting are all relatively new terms that are used to describe a child centre style of parenting where the focus is fulfilling children's needs in a mindful and conscious way.
It started as a contrast to traditional parenting in which the focus is on the adult's needs.
Being a relatively recent new way of relating to childhood, it could be misunderstood as we do not have a clear model to follow or experience on how to do it.
I have noticed that many mothers I work with are falling into the error of failing to take into account the needs of mothers and just focus on children's needs. In other words, they are applying the same dynamics of traditional adult-centred parenting, but in reverse. And this is generating, as happened in traditional parenting, unbalanced relationships, increasing the already high doses of guilt, shame, self-doubt and inadequacy feeling in motherhood.
These new styles of parenting left many mothers feeling “the worst mothers in the world” as they created a false image of perfect parents that never lose their calm, never lose their patience, have the right answer on every occasion, handle tantrums and any challenge in the calmest, loving way; are successful in every area of their lives; have a perfect relationship with their children.
When in reality parenting is a journey of self-discovery. Through every stage, every challenge we are learning to be the parents our children need us to be and as humans, we will get it wrong so many times.
The important thing here is for you to find the right balance for you, your child and your family and this will look different for everyone.
Let's start normalizing that we can not be perfect parents all the time but we can be good enough parents most of the time.
Let me hear your thoughts.
