Have you ever felt that although you are not mentally ready to make a change, a new year is here and you must be changing something?
Lots of people can feel the pressure of New Year, New Me and set unrealistic goals.
Why not approach goals in a less-pressured way and set intentions instead?
If you want to find more about intention setting and surround yourself with like-minded people join my next women circle at the end of the month.
The Cosmic Education
Combining Conscious parenting, Montessori philosophy and self-development tools to support your journey of reconnection with your true self through parenting.
Online courses for parents, carers, and educators. One to one and group coaching.
Operating as usual
Have you ever felt that although you are not mentally ready to make a change, a new year is here and you must be changing something?
Most activities take little to no prep time and will help bring your family together in the spirit of the holidays.
If you want a copy of the 12 days to Christmas advent calendar, send me a DM.
Let me know in the comments, what do you do?
So hard to resist our urge to rescue our children when they feel frustrated.
These 3 steps will help you to help them and build resilience when they feel they can do something.
Is funny how parents expect to reap something they never sow for.
Every action we choose to take or not will has a consequence in our children's future.
What would you like to sow when your little children become adolescents or adults?
If you would like to know how to support your children now that they are little to sow what you what in the future send me a DM.
Conscious, gentle, positive, holistic parenting are all relatively new terms that are used to describe a child centre style of parenting where the focus is fulfilling children's needs in a mindful and conscious way.
It started as a contrast to traditional parenting in which the focus is on the adult's needs.
Being a relatively recent new way of relating to childhood, it could be misunderstood as we do not have a clear model to follow or experience on how to do it.
I have noticed that many mothers I work with are falling into the error of failing to take into account the needs of mothers and just focus on children's needs. In other words, they are applying the same dynamics of traditional adult-centred parenting, but in reverse. And this is generating, as happened in traditional parenting, unbalanced relationships, increasing the already high doses of guilt, shame, self-doubt and inadequacy feeling in motherhood.
These new styles of parenting left many mothers feeling “the worst mothers in the world” as they created a false image of perfect parents that never lose their calm, never lose their patience, have the right answer on every occasion, handle tantrums and any challenge in the calmest, loving way; are successful in every area of their lives; have a perfect relationship with their children.
When in reality parenting is a journey of self-discovery. Through every stage, every challenge we are learning to be the parents our children need us to be and as humans, we will get it wrong so many times.
The important thing here is for you to find the right balance for you, your child and your family and this will look different for everyone.
Let's start normalizing that we can not be perfect parents all the time but we can be good enough parents most of the time.
Let me hear your thoughts.
On October 10th World mental health is celebrated worldwide.
According to statistics
20% of adolescents may experience a mental health problem in any given year.
50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 and 75% by age 24.
10% of children and young people (aged 5-16 years) have a clinically diagnosable mental problem, yet 70% of children and adolescents who experience mental health problems have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age
Mental health problems in childhood might include depression, anxiety behavioural problems, and are often a direct response to what is happening in their lives.
These 5 tips will contribute to your children's mental health.
Do you have any other tips?
Share this information with other parents that need a reminder on the importance of mental health.
Our reaction to our children tantrums can have a huge impact on the way they manage and express their emotions.
We asked them to control themselves when they do not have the capacity to do it as their brain is not fully developed.
We frequently tend to lose our temper when dealing with a tantrum.🤬
Remember we are there to role model acceptable ways to manage their feelings
How can they learn if we ask them to do something we are not able to do??? 🤔
When dealing with your child's tantrum Do you lose your s**t or try to connect before correcting?
Do you know how your parents reacted to your tantrums?
If you constantly point out your children mistakes instead of observing where are they coming from (lack of skill, incorrect tools) you might be raising an adult that struggles with perfectionism, might be scared to do anything just to avoid failure or a hypercritical person.
Do not scold your children for their mistakes. Use them as learning opportunities.
" I need someone or something to tell me I'm doing it right" 🤔
As parents, we always question everything we do, say, think, choose, decide, questioning ourselves is our natural state.
🧠 Our mind needs recognition and validation and tries to get it from our external references, might be from our own parents, friends, society expectations, a new trend or even an influencer, we need someone to tell us how to do it.
But we do not apply the same questioning premises to that external information and just follow it, even when deep down we know there is something quite not right about it. 🤯
Most parents I work with are looking for a magic formula, a 1,2, 3 step process that will help them to have the perfect child they created in their minds without even questioning if they might have an unrealistic expectation, or realizing that the issues might be within themselves not their children.
That is why self-observation is a key element of my approach. We need to look 🔎 inside to change the outside.
What will help you to feel that as a parent you are doing it right?
We do not need to be perfect parents we need to be good enough parents.
You will have bad and good moments and all of them will be part of your journey.
You can only choose if you want to go forward or back on that journey.
If you want to move forward, I can help you to enjoy the journey.
Maria Montessori was born on 31 August 1870 in the town of Chiaravalle, Italy. She is well known for her education method, being a social activist, and challenging the status quo, in a society where a woman could only aspire to be a housewife and nothing else.
Every time I read her quotes, books, learn about her life I am amazed by her vision of the human potential within the child, her beliefs about the rights of women, and equality.
Everything she wrote about is still valid. Sometimes I wonder was she ahead of her time or we have not learned the lesson?
What do you think?
When we think about boundaries, we tend to think about limits for others, but self boundaries are the most important ones as they have a significant impact on your lives and who you are.
Setting boundaries can be difficult, might be that your parents did not have clear boundaries and now you do not even know how they look like.
With self boundaries, you should consider daily choices you make that will have an impact in any area of your life. From choosing healthy food instead of junk, doing what you promise yourself to do, to choose to parent in a more conscious way.
Here are some steps that can guide you to set self boundaries.
What area of your life do you struggle the most to set self boundaries?
☞ Why? Why? Why? such a powerful question to ask yourself.
When do you keep asking yourself, why this keeps happening to me? but you still focus on changing someone else’s behaviour, which is impossible, as you can't control other people's behaviour. What you are doing is avoiding responsibility to protect yourself.
We teach people how to treat us, based on what we choose to tolerate. If someone continues to do things that hurt you and is fully aware of what they are doing, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself and ask Why? Why I do tolerate this?
We have the power to choose what kind of treatment we will accept in our relationships and enforce boundaries to protect us.ツ
After being off on holidays and with everything happening around, it is natural that many children and adults will be worried about returning to school.
Here are some tips to support your child to transition back or start school life.
Not an easy journey, but so worthy.
"I'm sorry I haven't been here lately"
"I'm sorry I haven't posted in a long time"
☝ Have you heard these comments before? ಠ_ಠ
I have been on holiday for few weeks and I felt guilty I was not posting regularly on engaging with my social media and decided to jump in on my stories and apologize for this😔
I saw few accounts doing the same and that got me thinking 🤔.
Why do we have to apologize?
What kind of society are we living in that we feel the need to apologize for spending time in real life with ourselves or our families?
Is this the world I want my children to live in, where online interaction is more important than real life?
Where someone else's "perfect picture Instagram life" appears to be more appealing than our own life?
Where we left others to dictate how we must feel, dress, behave, eat, talk and think?
Social media is not real life, we usually, see here the best shot of someones else's life not their whole journey with ups and downs. There are a lot of accounts that are doing a great job in showing the reality of life, the struggle, the joy but still, there is a lot more we need to do.
We have to normalize that time offline, connecting with ourselves, our families, our purpose and doing other things might have a bigger impact on us and our businesses.
Stop apologizing for living without screens and living your life.
Do you use social media to create a space for reflection or just content consumption? 🤔
How do you see boredom, as a blessing or a cursed?
Time for gratitude and appreciation.
What are you grateful for?
To become a Conscious Parent is not a quick or easy ride, it takes lots of inner work, mindfulness and time.
These tips are a good start point, this is a lifetime job.
Which of these tips do you apply?
You can adapt this tips to your child's age or family dynamics.
Remember the key is balance between online and offline time.
These are the latest recommendations by the American Pediatric Association.
Let's talk how children develop and learn, so you can use these information as a guide to make an informed decision on screen time and content you will let your child to watch.
How much time does your child spend on screens everyday?
Do you limit the amount of time they spend using screens?
Screen-Free Week is an annual invitation to play, explore, and rediscover the joys of life beyond ad-supported screens. During the first week of May, thousands of families, schools, and communities around the world will put down their entertainment screens for seven days of fun, connection, and discovery.
Even though it’s about turning off screens, Screen-Free Week isn’t about going without – it’s about what you can get! An hour once dedicated to YouTube becomes an hour spent outside; ten minutes whiled away on social media turn into ten minutes spent doodling; a movie on a rainy afternoon is replaced by time spent reading, chatting, or playing pretend!
You can celebrate Screen-Free Week at home, in your school, in your community, or anywhere – just put down those entertainment screens and do literally anything else! You might be surprised at what you find.
(“Entertainment screens” means that you can’t use Screen-Free Week as an excuse not to do your homework or your job. But if you’re a teacher or boss, you can help everyone celebrate by reducing the amount of screen-based work you assign!)
About - Screen-Free Week A Week of Rediscovery 2021 Celebration Why Screen-Free? What people are saying about SFW Meet our team What is Screen-Free Week? Screen-Free Week is an annual invitation to play, explore, and rediscover the joys of life beyond ad-supported screens. During the first week of May, thousands of families...
Recovering from burnout will take more than spa day, going away from a weekend, and tons of alcohol.
Even though recovery won't happen overnight, if you follow these steps, little by little by making these changes in your life you will get out it.
If it is too much you can always ask for professional help.
Remember consistency is key.
@ Edinburgh, United Kingdom
Parental burnt out and motherhood are they synonymous?
If you are feeling these signs, I want you to know that it's not normal, motherhood doesn't have to be like this, of course it might be tiring, especially with children under 5, but it's time demystify that burnt out its a normal state during motherhood.
Parental burn out a myth or reality?
Burnout is commonly used to describe occupational fatigue in caregiver roles, such as nurses and teachers.
In parents, especially mothers it refers to that disconnection from yourself due to the stress and overwhelms of being a mother.
Mothers tend to focus mainly on the needs of other ones while forgetting about their own needs.
It's time to demystify the concept that we have to be exhausted, feeling that we have lost a part of us.
Motherhood is not a destination is a journey, and like in every journey, it might be lots of obstacles along the way, the important thing to remember is to enjoy the journey.
We can't be perfect mothers, but we can be good enough mothers most of the time.
Mothers can't do it all.
Sometimes it's difficult to start a conversation about goals with our children, as they might not even know what a goal is.
A great way to start is to have an informal chat and ask some questions about them and their views on family dinamics.
If you have younger children you can use books or characters or cartoons that they can relate to.
Whatever you decide to do, make. It fun, give them examples about your life, tell them stories about your childhood, children love to hear stories about their parents.
Here you have 10 questions that can help you to start that conversation.
What other questions will you use?
Share with us some of the answers your children give you, they come with quite unusual and funny answers.
When you have a clear vision of where you want to get as a family, parenting journey is so much easy and enjoyable.
Your children involvement is key in this process.
If You are wondering how to set get them involve.Not worryies I got you cover with this easy 8 steps.
Check my Last IGTV for more info.
@ Edinburgh, United Kingdom
1st quarter of the year. Time flies!
I see a lot of families where parents do not have a clear vision of the destination they want to get to, so everyone is going in a different direction. They do not have a common goal, they do not have a family plan and this leads to chaos.
A goal is like a route map that will help you to determine all the necessary things you will need to get to your destination and help you focus, so you don't get lost on your way.
Goal setting is also a great opportunity to teach your children important skills while also strengthening your relationship as a family, they will develop skills like planning, perseverance, self-discipline, self-control, accountability, responsibility, teamwork that would necessary in all areas of their life.
Do you have family goals or a plan? Do you involve your children in family decisions?
Do you remember all those goals you wanted to achieve this year.? Have you stuck to them? Have you achieved any of them?
Share your experiences with us.
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