Verna Lee Bowen

I came across a post that said, “𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺.”

What makes people successful is doing something hard for a purpose greater than the obstacles that present themselves.

The biggest obstacles we will ever have to fight are not the external ones, but our own temptation to quit when confronted with them.

If it takes a lifetime to get this, you’ve won. You are not too late.

Go for it because, as a wise person once noted, your life is just that small dash between the date you arrive and the date you leave. ❤️

- Verna

Back when confidence and authority were understood as overtly expressive, domineering, boisterous, life of the party, extrovert, HIGHLY VISIBLE, cocky, and possessing a lack of volume control . . . I thought I was doomed to never feel 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵. 😂

What a relief it was to learn that the traits listed above more accurately describe someone who LACKS real confidence.

Trying to be SEEN as confident is a far cry from embodying any great measure of real confidence.

Genuine confidence is evident in people who are grounded in ease with who they are, regardless of the opinions of others. This might mean quiet or vocal, serene or boisterous, introvert or extrovert.

I personally will never be the HIGHLY VISIBLE coach who is wildly popular online, because that's just not my cuppa tea.

I will always be one who loves truth, soul-honesty, growth, and overcoming the lower parts of the self. That will undoubtedly be boooriiing to some. Some days I will show up as "bubbly," as someone close recently described me, but other days I will appear reserved. Still other days I won't "show up" at all.

It's freeing to realize this truth: where one's confidence lies need not ever be measured by amount of public visibility, but by the quality of ease with self, others, and life itself. 🌷

Give us the gift of you. Be confidently loud, quiet, funny, serious, reflective, or whatever.

Nobody else can do YOU like you can. 🌟

What would love, poise, and inner strength do in that situation?

Yes, THAT one.

The one you’re not sure how to respond to or even perceive.

The one that triggers you to speak in ways you’re sure to regret.

The one that leaves you feeling empty, small, or alone.

The one that causes confusion or anxious thoughts.

The one that tests your character.

The one that is actual crisis and you feel helpless and scared.

What would love, poise, and inner strength do?

Finishing a lengthy project is like seeing clouds part and sun rays grace the earth after rain. Everything’s green and teeming with life. ☀️🌷

- Verna

Ever use the same typo in a word so many times that you almost start thinking it’s the way that word is supposed to be spelled?

Snadwich.

I used to joke about this one by actually saying it that way. 😄

(Then I envisioned me in my 90s, requesting a “snadwich” for lunch at a seniors retirement center. So I stopped). 😁

One down.
Three more to go. 🥳

“Verna, how come your books aren’t finished yet?”

Nobody’s asking this directly to my face, but I have asked myself. I’ve also elaborated about the writing process in conversation with close friends and colleagues.

- I procrastinate
- I’ve come to understand that there is way more to writing a book than we initially realize. We have a gazillion ideas to write about, and the books are very much alive in our heads and hearts. Getting them on “paper” is a process akin to climbing the most daunting mountain.
- I’m busy
- I judge my writing too harshly and often start chapters all over again.
- I spend too much time on cover design because it’s so relaxing and fun. 🤩

ALL of the above are excuses that work well. 😉

Aside from the second one (because book writing truly is a deep process), the one underlying truth is that I want it to be 100% from me - a real person - instead of the lazy route of having AI do most of it for me.

While my AI platforms know my style, voice, work, personality, and skills, here’s the issue: Whenever I read something written by AI, it is always, always revealing and obvious to me. I do not wish to insult my reader by assuming “they” won’t notice. I assume they are smart enough that they WILL know.

Full acknowledgment here: I battle with perfectionism a little (a little 😆 ), but secretly, or not so secretly, I think I would rather THAT extreme than the other.

I had to learn a hard lesson in that regard.

I published a “quarterly weight-release journal” on Amazon in 2024, and after all edits were done, I decided to change fonts in a page title . . . and made a huge typo. I had to fix and re-publish the book AFTER people had bought it. 🫣

Anyway, back to AI . . .
AI is useful in so many ways, but without the human factor for the actual writing part, it will never be your own work or voice.
📕 📚 ✍🏻

Deep work produces a calm surface.
______________________________________________

Initial heavy lifting makes life lighter.
______________________________________________

Meditation creates time for productivity.
______________________________________________

Love for self and others makes the path lighter.

The fluff of “positive thinking” often avoids real feelings.

There’s been a dangerous teaching for years: “Shhhh… be positive,” as though acknowledging pain somehow creates more of it.

But what are we supposed to do with the parts of life that hurt? Ignore them? Shame ourselves for them?

Yes, our thoughts, actions, and emotional patterns shape much of our experience. That part is true.

But what’s been twisted is the belief that responsibility means fault.

Yelling at ourselves, “Be positive!” is like screaming at a plant, “Grow!” while ignoring the conditions it needs to thrive.

There are no shortcuts to growth. Avoidance may bring temporary relief, but it quietly keeps us trapped in fear.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is how we meet fear.

Sometimes courage looks like rest.
Sometimes it looks like action.
Sometimes it means finally telling the truth about what hurts.

Our bodies often know what we need before our minds do. If we slow down enough to listen, they will tell us where fear is living and what healing requires.

It is not only ok to admit we’re feeling pi**ed, broken, sad, frustrated, or hurt; it’s necessary for healing. What’s not ok is avoiding, pretending, or lashing out at others because we refuse to face what’s happening inside us.

To bravely face our true feelings for the sake of healing, instead of stuffing them down, is to discover what real strength actually is.

- Verna