08/27/2026
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1Dnd22DuUN/
The most important questions often won't sound like questions.
They might sound like defiance, refusal, anger, frustration, disengagement, 'people-pleasing', perfectionism, apathy, or silence. They might not sound like anything at all.
The questions that need to be answers with certainty before anything else is possible are:
Am I safe here?
Do I belong?
Am I welcome here?
Will someone notice if I'm struggling?
Am I safe to get it wrong?
Does my teacher like me?
Does my body feel safe in this space?
When the 'absolutely yes!' is missing, safety will be the priority. Feeling safe - which might be different to actually being safe.
They might be safe, but unless they feel safe, nothing else will be possible. Not learning, regulation, connection, memory, play, creativity, engagement.
This is why the relationship with the adult matters so much.
A warm greeting.
A face that says, 'I'm glad you're here.'
Using their name with warmth.
Consistent 4 second gestures of warmth.
Relationship isn't what happens when children are doing well, or behaving well, or learning well. Relationship is what makes it all possible.
The way into the learning will always be through the adult in the room.
