02/21/2022
“No, we're done at the park, no more playing” "No more iPad!” "No, we can't have ice cream for dinner" All.day.long.🤬🔥
Warrior parents, we see you. Toddlers are exhausting.💯🤸🏻
BUT hear us out: the constant no's are not only exhausting for YOU, it’s exhausting for THEM to hear no, don’t, stop all day long too. They get worn down, just like we do. And when they’re worn down, guess what their breaking point looks like?
🌪ABSOLUTE CHAOS🌪
Plus, the word "no" loses it's power and becomes an instant trigger into power struggle mode - no matter what it is you're saying. It becomes a pattern, a routine. It goes like this:
🎢You say, "no"
🎢Your toddler commences operation wear-you-down to get the thing you're saying no to.
🎢You escalate in your "no" getting more angry
🎢Your toddler levels up - screaming, wailing, tantruming
🎢Your exhausted body and mind gives up
☄️"FINE! Just ONE more episode, then we're done I mean it!"
And just like that, your toddler learned that to get one more episode, or 5 more mins at the park, or ice cream for dinner, they just have to scream harder and longer.🌪️
Power. Struggle. City.
Now, we as parents, have to say “no.” In fact, boundary holding is CRUCIAL in ending those power struggles. But, we can say, "no" AND make our toddler feel like we're on their side, avoiding the power struggle.
The next time you have to deny your kid’s request, make a ✨Yes-No Sandwich✨ Instead of just giving a flat-out “no,” simply sandwich that bummer news between two “yes” responses:
“You want to see grandma. Yes! We have school today. Let’s call grandma + ask her to come over tomorrow!”
“You want to color together. That will be so much fun! Yes! When I’m finished emptying the dishwasher in 10 minutes, we can color. I can’t wait!”
The Yes-No Sandwich takes a little creativity and practice, but sooner than later, it’ll become second nature. Go rock those Yes-No Sammys, you warrior parents!!! LET'S DO THIS
✨✨Big Little Feelings