12/21/2022
I’m not a fan of darkness—literal or metaphorical places of darkness or shadow. I’m always looking for the light, for the piece that transforms darkness into greater meaning, effect, liberation—the thing that is lifegiving. I love the long days of summer. Time seems expansive. The warmth brings with it an openness of the body unconstricted by layers or contracted by the cold. And yet, where I live in Calgary, the contrast to those long days is long nights. There is a symmetry to this relationship, and yet my embrace of this balance is hardly symmetrical with my natural tendency to welcome one half and resist the other.
And yet, the thing about natural tendencies is that they are malleable – you can shape and reshape them. Self-compassion is a powerful tool for reshaping and reframing our behaviour and outlook. And a long night brings the quiet and stillness for exploration, for honesty about what is and is not working, for what you want more of and less of.
So tonight, on this longest night of the year in the northern hemisphere – I invite you into a practice of self-compassion.
1) Create a setting of comfort – a comfortable chair, a cozy blanket, a place where you are warm, undisturbed, and can let your guard down. You might want to light a candle or another soft light. Choose silence or music that enhances your exploration.
2) Bring to mind a compassionate image, someone or something that instills in you a sense of unconditional support, steadfast kindness, generous provision, or abundant goodwill. Notice how this attention and action unfold and how this recollection makes you feel.
3) Name one element of challenge or difficulty you are currently traversing. For this reflection, choose a medium challenge, not the most difficult thing in your life. Offer yourself a source of comfort by resting your palm just below your collarbone. Feel the weight and warmth of your hand on your body. Be curious about this challenge—how would you describe it, how does it make you feel?
4) Begin to build a compassionate bridge toward transformation. Describe what it would look and feel like if this difficulty was resolved. What is one step you can take toward the transformation you described? What would you say to a good friend facing this challenge? What or who could help you along this way?
5) When you feel the fullness of this exploration, conclude with a moment of gratitude for the space of darkness to be curious and receive the compassion available to you from self and others.