Your Aussie Uncle

Stop describing the weather like a forecast.

In Australia the weather isn't small talk. It's the opening line for almost every conversation you'll have with a colleague, a neighbour or the bloke at the counter.

A very hot day is a scorcher.
A cold morning is a bit fresh.
Raining hard is bucketing down.
A beautiful day is a stunner.
Humid is muggy as.
Very windy is blowing a gale.
And when it changes: the weather's turned, eh?

Worth knowing that bucketing down is the version you use in polite company.

Which one are you going to use first?

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Australians rarely say "I'm sick".

They say I'm crook.

And the rest of it changes too.

Your doctor is your GP.
The pharmacy is the chemist.
A free doctor visit is bulk billed.
Emergency is ED.
And chucking a sickie is taking a day off when you're not really sick.

That last one is a joke, not advice.

If you're new here, bulk billed is the one worth knowing. It means Medicare covers the visit and you pay nothing.

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Starting a conversation is one skill. Ending one is a completely different skill.

And nobody teaches you the second one.

Anyway, right, I'm off then.
I'll let you go.
Better make a move.
Better shoot off.
We'll leave it there.
I'll leave you to it.
Catch ya.

Notice they all give the other person a way out. That's the whole trick. You're not ending it because you're bored, you're ending it because they're busy.

Save this for the next time you're stuck in one.

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You're running late. What you say next matters more than you think.

Running a bit behind.
Got held up.
Can we push it back?
Two secs.
Cutting it fine.
Be there shortly.

None of these are an apology. That's the point. Australians tend to keep it short and practical rather than over explaining.

Long apologies can actually make it feel like a bigger deal than it is.

Which one do you already use?

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In Australia we don't say "I have no money".

Here are five ways to say it that sound like a local.

A bit short. You're not broke, you just can't do that particular thing right now.

Flat broke. You're properly out of money until payday.

Strapped for cash. Same as flat broke, a bit more dramatic.

Doing it tough. This is the one to learn. It's someone telling you they're struggling without actually admitting it. If a mate says that to you, don't ask too many questions. Just shout them lunch.

Which one would you actually use?

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