Sumiloff Academy

Purpose, passion, projects…
Dear Reader,
I’ve been journaling off and on since around the turn of the century. I picked it up to help deal with the onset of severe mental health challenges, the resulting hospitalization, and a long recovery. This blog is an attempt to share journaling and self-care wisdom I’ve gathered over this journey. Seeking to understand the mechanisms of change and trying to express them as found poetry from a sometimes chaotic mind.
We all suffer, but we don’t have to struggle alone or silently.
The journaling to the “Wise Future Self” is rooted in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy’s wise self, and grew into writing to Conner’s “The Voice.” Writing to someone wiser than my present self, but recognizing my own autonomy and responsibility.

-Clyde

Dear Wise Future Self,

Kudos—you made it far enough into the future to reflect. How’s the view?

We, the multiple “mes,” look to you, who has seen the results of our choices, for wisdom.

May we hone ourselves, our actions, into the kind of person who served you well.

May we craft something meaningful for you to experience—and find joy in.

We’re planting seeds, as blog posts, not knowing what will grow.
A seed—a thing, a process, a system.
We turn it over to future versions of ourselves.

We ask:
Can we commit?
Do I want you to inherit this thing?
We gift it to you; it’s yours.

Is it a present you cherish?
Will you be grateful for my choices when growth is hard?

This thing I’ve planted for you to maintain
To care for
and to love?

The echo I hear is… will we do our daily watering through the growth season
—without knowing its length?
Will it matter?

Will I care for this as long as it’s alive,
And not harm it,
through negligence?

Seed planted.
Welcome to the experiment.

Journaler’s Call to Wellness:
You’ve taken a few steps alongside my mind, now what’s on yours? Find your journaling journey with the below prompt: what could your Wise Future Self tell you in your journal?
What “seed of purpose” could you plant in the next day? What could it become if tended?

If this resonates with you, sign up here for the 4 People Within book club: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6

Citations and Inspirations:

Conner, Janet. Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within. Red Wheel/Weiser, 2008.

4 People Within Book Club Registration June/July 2026 Join us at our 6-week online book club to explore - and integrate - the four people who live within us. The class options are are as follows: For Equestrians with Merja Sunday 31st 7pm Sydney/ 10am CET/ 5am Eastern/ 2am Pacific For Expats with Silke starting Sunday June 7th 4pm CET/ 10am Eastern/ 7a...

Loving one‘s body is such a hard thing to do, isn‘t it? Especially as women, we are told early in life that we need to look a certain way to be acceptable to be attractive - otherwise we won’t find a man. As far as survival goes that has been good advice for generations. For the longest time, women were seen as an adjunct of men, an accessory of sorts, and of course that accessory has to be beautiful. For the longest time, women needed men to survive -mainly because legally women couldn’t open bank accounts, couldn’t work, couldn’t own a house without their husband’s permission. So that advice of our ancestors - to be as attractive as possible to men - was good advice for survival.
But here’s the thing, it’s not good advice anymore. As women we’re still being taught to be aesthetically pleasing instead of focusing on what we are capable of and what our bodies are capable of. And boy, does that change things when you focus on yourself and your relationship to your body. When you start telling your body that you accept it, that you approve of it, that you love it. When you start taking care of it through nutrition and exercise. When you realize that the pain you feel in your back and your neck are actually your body’s signals to slow down, to relax, to play instead of carrying the whole world on your shoulders. When you get into relationship with your body and with yourself, you learn to focus on yourself, on your own needs and wants and motivations, you learn about your goals and what you want to do with your life instead of focusing on what you need to look like and who you need to be you to please others. And that, my friends, is a game changer.

Come join me for free at the next 4 People Within e-book club and I’ll help you find the best way to focus on yourself. We’ll meet once a week on Sundays, for six weeks total, starting Sunday, June 7th at 4 PM CET.
Sign up here: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6
~Silke

I‘m so grateful for the experiences I gained while living abroad. In Turkish there is a saying
“Bir dil bir insan; iki dil iki insan.”
Roughly translated, it means learning another language adds another person within you or makes you become a second person. It means learning another language enriches your life, your personality; you gain insights into other people’s lives and cultures that you otherwise wouldn’t get. Learning another language makes you humble because it’s difficult in the beginning, especially if the language you’re learning and your native language aren’t part of the same language family. It also makes to gain confidence and you start believing in yourself once you make progress and get to actually communicate and connect with people you otherwise wouldn’t have access to. It also makes you look at your own language, your own culture, your own country from a different point of view. The options of who you want to be and what you want to stand for become manifold. You consciously accept what you want to be part of and you consciously reject what you don’t want. So you do become more than one person because you now have connections to your own country, language and culture AND to the country, language and culture you choose to live in for whatever amount of time.
I for one am truly grateful for what I learned and how I evolved why I was living in Turkey and as a result of my time there later on. Meaningful experiences like that tend to push you forward in your personal development.
Come join me at the next 4 People Within e-book club and tell me all about your experiences abroad and how they made you grow as a person. We’ll meet once a week on Sundays, for six weeks total, starting Sunday, June 6th at 4 PM CET.
Sign up here: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6
~Silke

Dear Wise Future Self,
Kudos—you made it far enough into the future to reflect. How’s the view?
I hope I can hone myself, and our actions, into the kind of person who served you well.
May I craft a purpose whose meaning you can experience—and find joy in.
Can I commit? Do I want you to inherit this thing?
We gift it to you. It’s a plant—a thing, a process, a system—waiting for soil and rain.

Am I giving you a present you cherish?
A growing thing I’ve committed your life to maintain—to be in relationship with, and to love?
The echo I hear is… will we do our daily watering through the growth season—without knowing its length? Will it matter?
Am I willing to care for this as long as it’s alive,
not harm it,
through negligence?
— In reverence,
Clyde ‘26
P.S. We’ve already planted seeds
If this question echoes in you…
Come
Sit with us.
We gather, we write, we listen—
We tend what we’re becoming, together.

Register here for The Four People Within book club:
https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6

Dear Wise Future Self,

Someone who inspires us gave us the words, “Iron Sharpens Iron.”
Our own twist is “Paper Sharpens Ink.”

Feelings, connections, thoughts, fears all inky in our heads and hearts; sometimes making minor or major messes in our lives.

Contained by social pressure of what feelings can look like shown. We’re judged as adults for how we display the thoughts we have in youth.

But letting the ink flow onto the page—symbols, letters, images—infinite options clarify on the page as expression is experienced as contrast.

We learn to hone our thoughts.

Iron Sharpens Iron

How do we work hard feelings into refined tools to better serve our work?

As Iron Sharpens Iron,
Paper sharpens ink.

Contrast of ink on white, brings stark clarity from inky blackness.

Plot your purpose on the page,

If you relate to this, come join me for the next Four People Within book club where we'll talk Big Emotions and bring clarity to them.

Register here: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6

Clyde '26

When I was a high school student in the US and I stayed with my American host family, it felt very superficial to be introduced to new people all the time. I felt like a fun new toy they were parading around. They probably meant it as a way for me to meet new people and make friends. Maybe they were even proud of hosting an exchange student. For me it felt overwhelming and shallow. However, I couldn’t articulate it back then. I was barely aware of it. But after working with the FOUR PEOPLE WITHIN model and knowing my personality type, I can now confidently say:
I’m an introvert, so it takes me time to process new stimuli and I prefer one-on-one conversations or small groups. I’m an intuitive, so I want to have meaningful conversations on deeply important topics. I’m a feeler, so emotional connection is important to me. For me to build that connection I need time and consistency. That’s why I prefer meeting the same people repeatedly and regularly instead of meeting new people all the time. Building meaningful relationships - where I am appreciated for who I am as a person, where I’m part of the other person’s life and they are part of mine - is one of the most important things in my life. Thanks to the FOUR PEOPLE WITHIN work I now know that about myself and therefore I am able to articulate what works for me and what doesn’t. That is an important skill to have anytime anywhere but especially when you live in a foreign country where there are more obstacles and challenges to begin with.
Join the FOUR PEOPLE WITHIN e-book club starting in June where we’ll learn to know ourselves better and communicate our needs in a challenging environment.
Sign up here: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6
~Silke

Dear Wise Future Self,

Growing up as an intense feeler and living with undiagnosed mental health challenges, we’ve often felt like a burn victim getting a hug. We appreciate the love we’ve received, but it’s also painful. We learned to avoid getting close to people to avoid eventually feeling hurt, but the pain was still there.

Living with borderline personality disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder came with an emotional sensitivity that amplified the pain of interactions. Reading Lost Connections and Man’s Search for Meaning, we began to realize that maybe it will always be painful—and that it matters even more to make the time worth it.

We invested in ourselves and our relationships, and it started to pay off. We found community and connection, even with the perception of pain still present in our interactions.

We found the Four People Within work and, combined with tools from therapy, began to understand the part of us that was hurting in these moments. We learned to re-parent the inner child who had metaphorically skinned his knee.

Letting the pain be part of me instead of the thing I hated, I am learning to be in relationship with that part instead of fighting it.

If you relate to this, come join me for the next Four People Within book club where we'll talk Big Emotions and the Four People Within.
Register here: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6

Clyde '26

Do you ever feel like you‘re not worthy of belonging because you’re imperfect? I certainly did and sometimes still do. When I lived in Turkey and I had just started out learning the language there were so many misunderstandings with regard to language and culture. Trying to enter a mosque without a headscarf and getting reprimanded for it. Ordering mixed water instead of fruit juice. People answering in English when I had asked the question in Turkish. I felt annoyed and embarrassed and wanted to give up. Would I only fit in once I was perfect? It was exhausting. So I gave myself a break. I allowed myself to eat some comfort food and read a novel in English. That was nice and easy and the overextended language part of my brain could switch off for a bit. And then I went back to speaking Turkish, back to language classes. Instead of trying to be perfect I asked for help from native speakers. How do you pronounce this? How do you phrase that? And I asked my Turkish speaking roommate to be my so-called tandem partner. I teach you my language, you teach me yours. Half an hour Turkish, half an hour English. And thus we’re both teachers and we’re both students. We show our vulnerabilities and our mastery. So I didn’t have to be perfect to fit in. On the contrary, my asking for help and showing my struggles actually created community, created belonging.
Come join me for the next 4 People Within e-book club in June where we will talk about our lives in a foreign country and create community through shared vulnerability.
Register here: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6
~Silke

Final Call to Join the 4 People Within® eBook Club

If you’ve been quietly wondering whether now is the time to reconnect with yourself, not just in thought but in practice, this is your invitation.

Our beautiful team of mentors is ready to welcome you into this season’s 4 People Within® eBook Club. Clyde Clark and Silke Hils are colleagues I trust deeply. They hold space with kindness, clarity, and emotional integrity. Many have walked this journey themselves. They do not just teach the work. They live it.

Over six gentle weeks, you will meet the four parts of your inner world - the Thinker, Feeler, Sensor, and Intuitive - and learn how to bring them into alignment so you can live with more ease, clarity, and self-trust.

This is not a course in doing more. It is a soft return to who you are beneath the noise.

✨ Choose your group and get ready to begin:

• Clyde’s group starts Friday 4 PM (Oregon time)
• Silke’s group starts Sunday 4 PM (Central European Time)

Please select the group that suits your rhythm and schedule. Staying with the same group each week allows you to deepen your journey and build safe, consistent connection with your fellow travellers.

Doors close this Wednesday at midnight, wherever you are in the world.

If you are feeling the nudge, now is the time to honour it. Or tag a friend who is looking for gentle grounding and self-discovery. Everyone welcome, all MBTI types welcome!

Join the eBook Club and take your next step toward a life that looks and feels like you.

Register here: https://forms.gle/KdVvwQbYf4sVHV7j6
And receive a confirmation email from [email protected]

With love,
Merja

When Your Life Begins to Look Like You

There is a quiet strength in living a life that reflects your essence. Not a performance, not a polished version, but the kind of life that rises from your values, your natural pace, and your inner vision. This kind of life doesn’t shout. It resonates. It may not always look impressive from the outside, but to the one living it, it feels like peace.

For many INFJs and INFPs, life begins with adaptation. We learn early on how to read the room, how to please, how to blend. We become mirrors for others before we become a home for ourselves. Somewhere along the way, we lose the thread of our own becoming. We wake up to a life that might be functional, even admirable, but it doesn’t feel like us.

Purposeful living begins when we stop abandoning ourselves in order to belong. It’s the moment we decide that being whole is more important than being impressive. Not because the world gives us permission, but because our spirit asks for it. Again and again.

A life that looks like you is not built on quick wins. It’s formed slowly, through a thousand small decisions. These are not always visible to others. They happen when you say no with shaky hands but a steady heart. When you leave space in your day for silence instead of filling it with noise. When you trust your timing instead of following the rush.

This kind of life includes all parts of you. It honours the heart that wants to connect deeply. It welcomes the mind that needs space to make meaning. It listens to the dreams and images that arrive through intuition. And it moves with the body, not against it, allowing your physical self to become a partner in presence.

Living with purpose doesn’t require you to change everything at once. Often, it just asks you to move an inch closer to truth. One small act of courage. One gentle boundary. One choice that reflects what matters most. And what I have seen, over and over, is that when you give an inch, life often gives you back a mile.

Not because you proved your worth, but because you aligned with it.

There is something generous that happens when we live with integrity. People show up. Opportunities find their way in. Your own creativity returns, not in a flood, but in slow trickles that remind you that you are still here, still capable, still whole.

This is what we mean when we say "a life that looks like you." It is not a perfect life. It is an integrated one. It may be quiet. It may be unconventional. But it is grounded in something real. And that is what makes it powerful.

If you have been longing for that kind of life, you are not alone. And you are not behind. You are simply ready to begin again, this time on your terms.

Give yourself that inch. Choose what feels right over what looks right. Follow the thread of what moves you, even if it leads you slowly. There is no race, only an authentic rhythm of your heartbeat.

And as your life begins to reflect your true self, you will notice something extraordinary. You feel seen. Not just by others, but by the person who matters most. You.

If this speaks to something you have been feeling, the desire to live more fully, more truthfully, and with all parts of you included, then I warmly invite you to join us for the upcoming 4 People Within® eBook Club.

Over six gentle weeks, we will walk through the foundational teachings that help INFJs and INFPs move from self abandonment to self alignment. You will meet the four inner voices that shape your daily choices, the Thinker, the Feeler, the Sensor, and the Intuitive, and learn how to bring them into collaboration rather than conflict.

This is not a course in fixing yourself. It is a return to your own wisdom. A place to be witnessed, understood, and gently supported as you learn to lead your life with greater inner clarity.

We begin soon. You do not have to be perfect, only need to be willing to show up. Reserve your place and let your life begin to look like you.

Register here: https://forms.gle/1SRr1bBfm5dsNrhD8

From Confusion to Clarity: A Book Club for Those Struggling with Family Dynamics

January is often a time of resolutions and reflection, but for many of us, it can also bring emotional residue from unclear or toxic family systems, blurred boundaries, and that familiar whisper: “I don't know how much more of this I can take.”

If you’re feeling the pull to finally do things differently, to make decisions that honour all of you, then this six-week book club is your safe space to begin.

We’ll explore the 4 People Within® Condensed Decision-Making Booklet, a warm and practical guide to understanding your internal voices: the Thinker, the Feeler, the Sensor, and the Intuitive.

These parts of you each have a say in your life. Some of them collect information, and others make decisions based on the information collected.

This club will help you identify and hear them more clearly, integrate their unique wisdom, and make more aligned decisions from a place of inner harmony and interpersonal sovereignty.

Why is now a good time to join us on this journey? Because the holiday season has pushed our familial dynamics to the surface, and you're tired of pushing, maneuvering around your family, or avoiding uncomfortable conversations. Maybe it's because you’re tired of being stuck in overthinking or people-pleasing. Because you want more than resolutions. Maybe you want a real relationship with yourself, and you want the people around you to see and accept you as you are.

And maybe because, deep down, you’re ready to trust your own guidance again.

This Is What You Can Expect

You'll receive the e-book without charge. Each week, we’ll focus on one or more chapters, the facilitator will read it out on the call, and then give journal prompts to help you gain clarity how the content applies to you and your situation. Then, it's time to unpack, discuss, and support each other’s discoveries.

There will be journaling, discussion, and intuitive exercises, all held within a warmly directive space. No pressure. Just presence.

You’ll learn to:
- Recognise which of your 4 People is currently driving your decisions
- Understand how unmet needs and trauma create internal conflict
- Choose from a fuller menu of options rather than defaulting to old patterns
- Rebuild self-trust one decision at a time

What Makes This Club Special? It’s not about mastering a technique. It’s about creating a relationship with your inner world.

As you meet your Inner Children and learn their needs, you’ll begin to notice the chaos quieting. The fractured parts start speaking to each other instead of over each other. And as your inner clarity grows, your sense of self returns. From that clearer sense of self, even hard decisions become softer.

This Club is for You If...
- You’re emerging from holiday overwhelm and want to begin the year grounded
- You’re facing a decision and feeling frozen, foggy, or emotionally scattered
- You’re ready to move from insight into integration
- You’ve been carrying too much alone and want to process alongside kindred spirits

By the end of six weeks, you’ll walk away not only with a deeper understanding of the 4 People Within®, but with a lived relationship to them. You’ll start hearing your inner voices not as noise, but as a symphony. You’ll move forward with more compassion, more clarity, and a sense of direction that feels like home.

Your inner world is not a problem. It’s a place of power.

Come sit at the roundtable of your inner family. Let’s learn to make decisions that feel like freedom, not obligation.

Join us. Registration Link:
https://forms.gle/WYwQBAQBx3krfhad6