Sumiloff Academy

03/09/2026

As one academic season ends, another begins.

My Summer of Walden started with a personal curriculum. It ended with a larger question about cultivation: What happens when we intentionally shape our environments, habits, and learning—and what grows that we never planned for?

In this week's Letters to My Wise Future Self, I look back at a summer of reading and reflection while preparing for my first course in interdisciplinary studies and the development of my professional portfolio.

The question I'm carrying into fall:
What does it mean to make a life out of things that don't ordinarily belong in the same box?

What We Plant, What Grows, What We Carry Forward

27/08/2026

What if the answer to intellectual restlessness isn't to stop wandering—but to find a few places worth staying awhile?

This week, Seneca's Letter 2 led me from “flying visits” to becoming a regular with Roald Dahl.

A reflection on restless reading, going deep without giving up breadth, and why learning might be more meander than marathon.

How long do we have to stay with a writer before they stop being someone we've read and become someone we've known?

Seneca, Roald Dahl, and Becoming a Regular

20/08/2026

What happens when the places we inhabit begin inhabiting us?
This week, two short stories led me from a haunted schoolroom, through a poisonous garden, and back into my own journals.
I found myself asking:
When does reflection become rumination?
And perhaps the more important question:
What is my journal cultivating in me?
🌱 Poison, Play, or Prophet?

When the Pages We Write Begin Writing Us

13/08/2026

What have you repeated about yourself so many times that you've stopped asking whether it's true?
This week, Brave New World, Walden Two, and my own journaling practice collide around a question I've carried for years:
What makes change possible?
From affirmations to better questions, from conditioning to curiosity, I explore what happens when we stop simply repeating who we think we are—and start gathering evidence.
Perhaps identity isn't an answer.
Perhaps it's a hypothesis worth investigating.
Don't just tell me who you became. Show me the evidence.

What Huxley, Skinner, and a Journal Taught Me About Change

06/08/2026

Where do ideas come from?

This week's letter is a little different. Instead of sharing a single insight, I'm opening the workshop door and inviting you into the process itself.

From messy journal pages to seasonal reading plans, this is a reflection on purpose, passion, and the small containers that quietly shape a life.

Perhaps purpose isn't something we find.

Perhaps it's something we practice.

I'd love to hear: what containers help you think, create, or simply make sense of life?

How Containers Become a Life

30/07/2026

When brain fog settles in, it's easy to believe the road has disappeared.
This spring, I found myself asking a different question:
"What kind of work is possible today?"
That question changed the way I approached reading, writing, and studying. Instead of measuring success by perfect days, I began looking for small actions that helped me become unstuck.
This week's reflection explores the quiet work of moving forward when clarity is limited—and why sometimes the next faithful step is enough.
Shoulder of the Road: Reflections on Navigating the Fog
Perhaps your next step isn't finishing the journey.
Perhaps it's simply becoming unstuck.

Reflections on Navigating the Fog

23/07/2026

What happens when we stop waiting to be rescued?

In this week’s reflection, I revisit a trip for electroconvulsive therapy, a conversation I can no longer accurately remember, and the books that changed how I understood suffering, meaning, and healing.

This isn’t a story about rejecting help. Many people helped me, and I still rely on medical care, books, and community.

It’s about the moment I began to understand that being helped and being saved are not the same thing—and that healing would require my participation.

Candy, Soma, and the Moment No One Could Save Me

Learning to Care for the Person at the Center of My Life

16/07/2026

I thought I was running a simple experiment with a piece of discount candy.

Instead, it became an experiment in attention.

Reading Walden Two led me to try Skinner's "lollipop experiment." That unexpected journey brought me into conversation with Brave New World, AI, and a question I wasn't expecting to ask:

Do I want candy, or do I just want to stop wanting?

This week's letter explores what happens when we confuse escape with freedom, why awareness matters more than willpower, and how even the most generous tools can quietly shape the way we think.

If you've ever wondered how our habits, technology, and attention influence who we're becoming, I hope you'll join me.

Candy, Soma, and the AI Who Gave Freely
Paying Attention in a Sweet World

Paying Attention in a Sweet World

29/06/2026

Episode 4 of Closing the Loop is now live. Shame and Why Good Riders Stay Stuck
You can find the whole episode at https://substack.com/

25/06/2026

Where in your relationship with your horse are you responding to what is actually happening, and where might you be responding to an old story? This was one of the hardest lessons Vesper ever taught me. When she injured herself and our Olympic path ended, I thought the depth of my guilt proved the depth of my love for her. I replayed everything, questioned everything and searched for the moment where I could have prevented something I had no control over. For a long time, I thought I was grieving for her, but years later I realised I was also grieving through her.

Vesper had healed. She was comfortable and had adapted to her new life because she wasn’t carrying the same story I was carrying. She wasn’t waking up thinking she had lost an Olympic dream or that her value had changed. That was my human interpretation. She had moved forward, and I hadn’t. That was a humbling thing to realise because I had always believed my empathy made me a better horsewoman. But empathy without awareness can quietly become projection, and sometimes we think we are listening to our horses when we are actually listening to the wounds, fears and stories we carry within ourselves.

Our horses can be our greatest teachers. They can create spaces where we feel safe enough to heal, grow and become more aware of ourselves, but they cannot do that healing for us. That responsibility belongs to us. True partnership begins when we allow our horses to be horses, not extensions of our pain, our identity or our need to prove something. Sometimes loving our horses means having the humility to ask: “Am I seeing my horse clearly, or am I seeing my own pain reflected back at me?”

🎧 Closing the Loop Episode 3: Your Horse Is Not Your Therapist
https://substack.com/