04/09/2026
# Education Has Taught Us How to Make a Living — But Not How to Build a Family
One of the major problems that the modern education system has largely failed to address is something fundamental to human life: **how to build a healthy marriage and raise a healthy family**.
Modern education has become exceptionally effective at preparing people for employment. We teach mathematics, science, technology, economics, law and professional skills. We encourage young people to pursue careers, financial independence and personal achievement. Yet comparatively little attention is given to preparing them for relationships, marriage, parenting, emotional responsibility, conflict resolution and the long-term responsibilities of family life.
This is a remarkable imbalance. A person may spend 15 or 20 years in formal education learning how to earn an income, while receiving almost no structured education about how to build and sustain one of the most consequential relationships of their life.
For thousands of years, marriage and family formation were not viewed simply as private arrangements between individuals. They were embedded within broader cultural, religious and spiritual traditions. Major religious traditions placed considerable emphasis on family responsibilities, obligations between generations, self-discipline, compassion, fidelity, sacrifice and duties toward others. These traditions differed enormously in their beliefs and practices, but many shared the idea that human beings have responsibilities that extend beyond individual desires.
Modern societies have increasingly moved away from these traditional structures. Secularisation, individualism, consumer culture and economic transformation have created enormous benefits in terms of personal freedom and material opportunity. But these changes have also created new challenges.
We have become increasingly focused on **individual achievement**, while becoming less certain about collective responsibility. Success is often measured through income, education, career progression, property and consumption. These are important aspects of life, but they cannot by themselves provide meaning, belonging or emotional security.
There is therefore a paradox at the heart of modern development.
**We have become extraordinarily successful at improving the material conditions of life, while struggling to teach people how to build meaningful relationships and communities.**
The consequences can be seen in relationship breakdown, loneliness, social isolation, family conflict and difficulties experienced by children growing up without stable and supportive environments. These problems cannot simply be attributed to the decline of religion, nor can traditional family structures be romanticised; families have always experienced conflict, inequality and dysfunction. Nevertheless, the weakening of shared cultural and spiritual frameworks raises an important question: **what institutions will teach the next generation about commitment, responsibility, compassion and family life?**
Schools cannot and should not dictate whom people should marry or impose a particular religious worldview. But education can provide young people with practical knowledge that is currently often left to chance.
Students could learn about emotional intelligence, communication, managing disagreement, financial responsibility within relationships, parenting, child development, digital behaviour, consent, caring for elderly parents and the psychological dimensions of long-term relationships. They could also be exposed to philosophical traditions that ask deeper questions about responsibility, purpose, duty, compassion and human flourishing.
Importantly, such education should not be presented as an attempt to restore an idealised past. Rather, it should recognise that **freedom also requires responsibility**. If society gives individuals unprecedented freedom to choose how they live, it should also equip them with the knowledge and maturity required to make those choices responsibly.
The purpose of education should ultimately be broader than producing workers.
It should help produce **capable human beings** — people who can think critically, earn a living, participate constructively in society, form healthy relationships, care for children, support older generations and find meaning beyond material consumption.
Economic development is essential. But a society cannot measure its success only through GDP, technological advancement or individual wealth. The quality of its families, relationships, communities and inner lives matters as well.
Perhaps one of the great challenges for education in the twenty-first century is therefore to reconnect **knowledge with wisdom**.
We have taught generations how to compete in the marketplace.
Perhaps it is time to teach them, with equal seriousness, **how to love, commit, care, raise children and build a family.**
