Your Second Bloom

I know this sounds simplistic, "just don't let fear stop you". I know it's not that easy, I see your worries, the things that keep you awake at 3am. This is a time to dial up the self care, self compassion, make time for periods of stillness and quiet where you can listen to your inner voice to discover what you are craving.
I am here to hold space for you while you are on this journey, please DM if this is something you need. Link to book in comments.

Last week I got the tattoo in the picture - two butterflies, symbols of growth and transformation.
I was excited and loved them so much to begin with, then slowly started second guessing my decision. Should I have got them where no one else can see them, and have I really grown enough to warrant the beautiful butterfly….
A good friend reminded me that I had them put on my arm so I could see them to remind myself in times when I needed it of that growth and strength.
Also what I realised is growth is not linear. It’s easy to think all is well and you’re healed while things are good, but when life throws some curve balls at you and you’re once again out of your comfort zone, you’re thrown right back into the messy middle of growth. Sometimes we need to go back into the cocoon for a bit to process and prepare for what’s next. There is no end to growth, we are always moving towards changing and growing. At least that’s what this midlife time seems to be for me.
And now again I love my butterfly tattoo and what they represent and I’m happy for them to be seen, and for my little reminder of strength when I need it.

Thank you .k_nuneztattoo for my first tattoo! I love them 😍 🦋

Journalling is such a powerful tool for bringing clarity and really helps to support your emotional wellbeing.
But do you ever find yourself resisting it? I did for a long time. I knew it could shift the way I looked at things, and yet I still avoided actually sitting down and writing. Even something simple like gratitude felt too hard. There was something about putting it on paper that made me question it, the inner critic comes in strong… Is this right? Is this what I’m meant to be doing? And it doesn’t look pretty enough,
I’m not good at writing, this is going to take too long.
So instead, I’d just keep everything in my head. But it’s getting it out of our heads that brings clarity.
One day I just decided to get over myself and do it. Once I started, the words actually came pretty easily. It really wasn’t that hard and didn’t take too long. My writing was messy as I wrote fast without stopping to think about what’s next, but it doesn’t matter, it's not for anyone else. And now it’s my go to practice whenever I have things to process.
One thing that helped me get started especially when I knew I needed to get things out but didn’t know how, was to write as if I was talking to someone, perhaps talking to a friend as if they were there.
You know those conversations we have in our heads when we’re walking or in the shower? (movement really does help thoughts flow.) Write like that. Just let it come out the same way it would in your mind. I promise, it starts to flow.
Another thing I found helpful was using loose A4 pages instead of a journal. A book sometimes felt too restrictive, especially when I had a lot to get out. Loose pages gave me more freedom and took away any pressure to write neatly or make it look nice.
That said, I’d still recommend dating your pages as it’s nice to look back and see how things have shifted over time.
If you’re feeling a lot and want to make sense of it, try starting with:
I’m afraid because…
I’m angry because…
I’m frustrated because…
I’m sad because…
Just let whatever comes up come out. Your headspace will thank you for it.

Finding Your Way Back to Yourself through Self-Compassion in Midlife
There comes a point in many women’s lives when life as we know it begins to change. Children grow more independent or leave home, careers evolve or stall, health issues relating to hormonal changes with perimenopause, relationships change, and the roles that once defined you begin to change. Midlife can be messy, it can feel like standing at a crossroads, both unsettling and full of possibility.
In this time of transition, one thing is often missing and that is kindness toward ourselves.
So many women come to counselling with an inner voice that is critical, judging, demanding, and unforgiving to themselves. “I should have done more.” “I’m behind.” “I’m not enough.” These thoughts are so automatic, we’ve told them to ourselves so much, and they even feel justified. But they’re not the truth—they’re habits.
Self-compassion helps us see and handle difficulties differently. At its core, self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same understanding and care you would offer a close friend. It doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility or pretending everything is fine. It means acknowledging your struggles without judgment and recognising that imperfection is part of being human.
In midlife, this practice becomes especially powerful. You may be navigating loss, grief, identity shifts, changing bodies, or behaviour patterns that no longer serve you. Instead of pushing through with criticism, becoming aware of that inner critic and using self-compassion invites you to pause and ask: What do I need right now?

Sometimes the answer is rest or setting a boundary, and sometimes it’s allowing grief or uncertainty without trying to fix it immediately. This is hard I know and something I need to work at constantly. Listening mindfully to ourselves and being supportive of ourselves, showing ourselves warmth and kindness can help us navigate times of pain.
Research shows that self-compassion is linked to greater emotional resilience, reduced anxiety, and improved wellbeing.
Some ways to start showing yourself self-compassion include:
Noticing your inner voice—would you speak to a friend that way?
When things go wrong, try saying: This is hard, and I’m doing the best I can.
Give yourself permission to be a work in progress.
Midlife is a chance to redefine what success means to you, to reconnect with yourself and to move forward to your next chapter with clarity and care. Begin with kindness to yourself.

DM me to learn more about how to fight back to your inner critic.

Often people become counsellors because of challenges they’ve experienced in the past. This is known as “the wounded healer”, and that is exactly why I have become a counsellor. I draw on my past experiences to hold space for you free of any judgement. I have been there needing help, needing someone supportive to listen while and guide while I process the challenges, leading to being able to see a way through. If you need someone to support you through the messy midlife issues and challenges please send me a DM. I am here for you.

Many women say they feel lost in midlife — often because they’ve outgrown who they once were. Or maybe you thought you wanted something and now you're just not sure. We go through so much in our first 50 years, from growing up with dreams of what our life will be, to relationships that don’t turn out to be what you thought it would, to great relationships, to kids, no kids, kids leaving home, careers, toxic work environments, pushing, striving, giving, loss and grief, perimenopause, menopause, and finance and cost of living pressures. Is it any wonder we sometimes lose ourselves along the way, and then midlife comes and shouts at us to find who we are and what we like and need now after all that we’ve experienced shapes who we are now. One step at a time, we explore our wants and needs for this next part of lives and grow into our second bloom.

Finances - how well do you know yours?
On the 1st of every month I look at expenses over the past month plus check account balances including shares and super.
This is something I did many years ago and then life happened and I buried my head in the sand knowing I wasn’t in a good position… then as you would have read in the last couple of years I made changes and took steps to improve things. One of these is tracking what I spend and knowing what my financial health is like. If you don’t know where you’re at financially, how can you plan for your future, know what you can spend, how much you can save/invest and what choices you have in life. It’s a crucial step in your financial wellbeing, and no matter how scary or confronting that is, it's a must do. So on the 1st of every month I take a little time to check my accounts. This is one of the areas I work with in coaching, so if you need help taking the 1st step to get on top of your finances, I can help you.

Over the past few years I’ve asked myself…
Where do I want to be in 10 years? What do I want the next part of my life to look like? The part where the kids have left home, and it’s just me. Did I do enough to prepare them for life or was I too caught up in the busyness of living and just getting through the day?
Midlife has a way of asking hard questions whether we’re ready or not.
Same as everyone, life threw a few curveballs over the years and moments where things didn’t feel right, where everything just goes wrong. Times when I felt uncertain, stuck, or questioning everything I thought I’d figured out. Where I questioned choices I’d made along the way, so much self doubt, blaming myself for the messy place I’d got my finances into.

And honestly, that was uncomfortable, but also being over 50 made me finally do something about it all…
Midlife isn’t just about getting older, it’s about becoming more honest with yourself.
It’s our second bloom.
It’s a season where we start valuing ourselves, where self-worth matters more.
Where we begin asking “What do I actually want now and for my future?”
We don’t have to stay stuck.
We can do the work.
We can grow.
We can choose differently.
That’s why I created Your Second Bloom — a space for women 40+ navigating change, identity shifts, and money worries with compassion and practical support.
If you’ve been feeling that quiet nudge…
maybe this is your season to listen 🌿