The Little Eden FDC

The Occuplaytional Therapist 💕
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When you see an infant struggling to roll over, voicing their displeasure with the way they've gotten themselves stuck on their back, it's easy to want to pick them up to comfort them, or roll them the rest of the way.

When you see a toddler struggling to snap two blocks together, yelling in annoyance that it just won't work, it's easy to want to swoop in to take it, fix it, and hand it back.

When you see a child struggling...a pr***en struggling...a teen struggling...

When you see anyone struggle it's easy to want to step in and do it for them. And I'm not saying to leave your child so mired in frustration that they escalate to the point of rage or throwing the object or getting absolutely lost in their frustration.
I'm just suggesting you slow down first.

Sit down beside them. Observe how they're working. Empathize with how tricky it is. Ask if they want help. Give a verbal prompt. Guide them without doing it for them. Offer to put it away until later.

Any or all of these might be appropriate, at different times. This isn't a one-size-fits-all "trick". There aren't many of those in parenting or, indeed, in relationships at all.
But children don't learn to manage frustration if they never experience it. If they're gravitating towards a tough and tricky thing, let them try. Let them fail. Let them try again. It's okay.

[Image description: A picture of a focused child stacking multicolored blocks, next to text reading: "If your child is choosing to return, over and over again, to something they can't do yet: They are choosing the struggle. They are choosing to learn. They are choosing to grow. Don't rob them of that."]

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Some examples of the creativity that is in abundance here ✨

When we see infants and young children as capable, when we trust them to do things when they are ready, when they have the intrinsic desire to take on a new challenge or the motivation to over come a fear, I believe we witness growth in its most authentic & empowering form.

*bleet*

If I hear one person refer to this as 'a kid' ...!

Ain't this the truth!
Although I don't think it applies to every one. I actually think there's adults that would WANT their children to remain forever obedient, passive and pliable. It fits with their beliefs and culture.
I read someones comment on this comic elsewhere and they said "but obedience is a good skill to have in balance!". And to that I totally disagree! Co-operation is the skill needed. And co-operative children are still able to stand up to injustice when they see it. Obedience is what we teach dogs.

I’m thrilled to be taking part again in Teacher Tom's Play Summit this year. Please join me for an incredible lineup of diverse, inspirational speakers from around the world.

This is a FREE online event for early childhood educators and parents, grandparents, and anyone who works with children taking place from August 13th - 17th.

They are all singing from my songsheet... we are all strong defenders of childhood and letting our kids be kids!

To register, please click here: https://maggiedent.krtra.com/t/SslZNDi61qa4

This is going to be SO GOOD! Excellent even... and it's free! Teacher Tom always inspires and more importantly, challenges our thinking around early childhood education, children and PLAY.

Teacher Tom's Play Summit Is Open! It's time to do more than just mark your calendar. I'm giddy to announce that registration for Teacher Tom's Play Summit 20...

The size and scale of things is something I've noticed that children are so often fascinated by. The world must look so different to a child - so immeasurably big! Buildings, nature, people, all towering over them. No wonder they are so captivated by it, so curious and wanting to understand it. That's why I think it's so important, when we do have the chance, to stop and marvel at these things with them. Try to see everything through the eye and mind of a child again. Don't rush ahead to what there IS to know, what they COULD be learning, where this could lead them. I really think that's where the magic in 'being present' lies... just imagining being a child again. Marveling at what IS.

Kindness, zombies and pirates ❤️

Conflict! Maybe you think it's weird that I love seeing this happen, but I do. I just think children are not given enough credit for what they CAN do and the problems they CAN solve when given the chance. Yeeahhh it's easier for us to dodge conflict and do everything to avoid it, but then children miss out on the chance to practice.

In this scenario, child 1 had built something with the wood and skateboards. The other two children wanted to use the wood, so they went to take it. Child 1 spoke up and said "hey! Don't break it! I made that! I'm still using that wood for my building". Child 2 declared they needed the wood to build something - "I just need the planks of wood to build a ramp..." and tried to explain their idea further. Child 1 listened to their idea, and after contemplating, decided: "Oh, ok, yeah you CAN use the wood" and started helping them move the wood over to the newer construction: a balancing beam structure.

In all of this - I wasn't needed. They didn't even look at me. They just... did it, because they can. Next time you see a conflict arise I recommend waiting. Waiting to see what unfolds. Muting that "justice seeking" radar that might be going off in your head. Let children practice these essential skills. Even if it doesn't get resolved... No worries! Let it be. Children's conflicts are theirs and when we try to get too involved, we risk misinterpreting what's really going on for them.

As always, TRUST ❤️

*If things get physical, absolutely do ensure that no one gets hurt, but refrain from judgement.

Thursday observations ✨

The hard, messy, emotional work.

When we arrived at the park the children sprinted to the swing. Naturally, someone missed out. They came over to me, disappointed they hadn't got the first turn - "I want a turn on the swing" they cried, head hung low.

I know some would want to avoid this situation all together. We wanna skip to the nice, happy, all the children getting a long and everything's fair part! Nope. Sorry to break it to you, but life doesn't work that way. THIS is the work of childhood - for the children AND I. This is the part where my expertise comes in, my patience, my understanding.

"Yeah, you really wanted to have a turn. That's hard isn't it. I know how that feels... I'm wondering if you've told them you want to have a turn?"

"No..."

"Well, if it was me, I would say: Can I have a turn when one of you have finished?"

And off they went. The children on the swing now knew this child wanted a turn. They had articulated their desire clearly, but the wait continued...

"I'm tired... I want a turn right now..."

"Yeah, I get that. It's hard to wait huh... I wonder what you'll do whilst your waiting?"

"I want a drink of water..."

*A few minutes later*

One of the children run over to us and let's the child know they are finished their turn. "You can have a turn now!"
The play continues, and they are now playing all together at the swings. One showing the others how they climb up onto the swing after another had asked for help (a whole other story, but in summary I've never helped these children onto the swing - it's something they have mastered independently and at their own pace)

THIS IS THE WORK OF CHILDHOOD - THE HARD, MESSY, EMOTIONAL WORK. This is what I'm here for. This is what it's all about.