Somatic Intimacy Coaching

Join us!
https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/kinky-magick-temple-of-love-tickets-1968866216855?fbclid=IwdGRjcAOpuZ9leHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAwzNTA2ODU1MzE3MjgAAR4qiHIBqwlSrWbBTwHswIfFGJtev6UsQB-50ow_uFfBu5LaRmXtJsw2JaEjVg_aem_In6rGRL0jxFcr4jxG9qIwQ

If this is you, come and join Somatic attunement, on Sunday the 6th of April, check out the event here:
https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/somatic-attunement-tickets-1280422290539

Hey beautiful souls! 🌟 Your LAST CHANCE for early bird tickets to my Somatic Attunement workshop closes TONIGHT at 11:30 PM Melbourne time - this is your opportunity to dive deep into embodied connection, learning to communicate through movement in ways that'll transform how you relate to yourself and others. Join me on April 6th in Brunswick for a journey of intimacy, presence, and profound understanding - all bodies, experiences, and relationship styles are welcome!

Somatic attunement Come join us for an immersive experience of connecting with yourself and others through somatic attunement and movement.

The other day I was talking to a client of mine and she is "wound-up really tightly" (her words) and all she wants to do, is to slow down, relax, find a pause, but feels the need to finish her to-do list first. The to-do list she is majority self-generating as a single woman in a stable corporate job with no kids.

This was me a few years ago. I desperately wanted to slow down but I didn't know how.

I woke up every morning feeling I needed to run somewhere, to be constantly improving. School, work, dance competitions etc.
I always had a list of things to do and places to be. When I didn't have anything to do, I'd start a new project, renovate an apartment or say yes to a work trip where I took on three people's workload.

It led to a burnout at 28 and the start of my personal development journey for survival.

I started doing the things "for my mental health" to be able to keep working for a bit longer:
✨Meditation
✨Journaling
✨Trauma release work
✨Tantra
✨And many many courses

I am so grateful for them!

It has taken a long time to realise I was applying the same intentions as before. Trying to heal myself as quickly as possible. Trying to have the perfect recovery.

The meditations and the journaling became the new 'to-do list', I begun to put so much emphasis on doing the things that I forgot the concept. If I didn't do the meditation I had failed. If I failed what was the point of trying again, it was all or nothing. I did them "because it's good for me". I worked on the outer layers to help me cope but wasn't changing the deeper beliefs around my perfectionism as it's hard to see our own blind spots. And I was using my old mentality of pushing with willpower instead of doing something for the joy of it, the desire of it, the feel of it, the hunger for it, I did it to survive not to thrive on a deeper level.

So I moved to the other side of the planet, changed carers and relationships. I started feeling like I had healed a lot from my burnout and had it under control. I started feeling ok.

I'm so grateful for the changes I have done so far but this year has lifted things to the surface I had unconsciously surpressed long ago.

2023 has made me realise
❌I wasn't healing my burnout by changing careers and places to live in the world (a nervous system in flight)
❌I wasn't changing my inner stories and beliefs of needing to look perfect from the outside. (Self image & wanting to belong)
❌I wasn't helping anyone or fooling anyone except myself when I thought I will get something done if I have the constant feeling of stress over me, which used to be my fuel, working hard to run away from potential pain.
❌I wasn't healing myself from my perfectionism, I was avoiding it.

This year my intention has been stepping up in my business. Through this, my old stories came back VERY strong.
It's time to change the intention from surviving to thriving.

So, by tapping into my body
✨ Instead of rushing out of bed in the morning, I give myself time to feel the sheets, take in the room, breath and enjoy the fact that I have another day on this planet. And if this starts to feel like a to-do list, I'll change it.
✨ I have cried and talked and cried out things that my inner child desperately needed to get off her chest, and see that she didn't need to carry any longer.
✨ I have started setting boundaries and speaking up more clearly about what I want and don't want in my life.
✨ I have started working with my body, capacity, energy level and period cycle. We are not machines, we are humans needing recovery time to be able to be our best.

So, if you recognize yourself, trying to run away from pain, hiding yourself in perfectionism, getting stuck in the doing instead of living, having difficulty receiving pleasure from the small things around.

Then it's time to learn how to say STOP, come into your body and regulate your nervous system. You got this!
And if you need some support, feel free to reach out 💖

Last day of my trip to Sweden, I did something I normally don't do. My partner even tells me I'm the worst at it.
"You're the worst tourist in the world!" (With a smile)
So, I gave it a try, I walked around the old city, the castle and a tour in the parlament building. I still got a bit light headed going around the parlament. Going slowly around museums and such do that to me, but maybe it's something I need to practice 🤔

For a city I have lived in for a couple of years, I never took the time to do that properly. I want to change my inner idea about being the worst tourist in the world, and become more curious about the places I both have lived and are living in now.

So, as I'm coming back to Sydney with new energy. What are the best places I should visit? What are your favorite spots to show friends and family, where are your best spots to rejuvenate and recharge, play and have fun, adore and enjoy?

I'm currently in Doha, on my way back from Europe and I'm feeling happy to offer you this amazing coaching opportunity!

I was dreaming of coming back to a Sydney where it would be easy to do in person sessions and workshops like getting my massage workshop started again, starting to lead cuddle parties and maybe even ta***ic temples. With the current Covid numbers I'm not going to promise anything, but I will keep hoping and let you know when they might come.

I would also like to get back into practicing my craft as a coach much more frequently before my upcoming certification, which is why I have setup an amazing deal for you!

I have 3 spot left on my coaching-intensive that I have put together at the silly price of 50 AU. The intensive is a 10week period with one coaching session a week, one-on-one over zoom, in January to March. That is a amazing discount and a golden opportunity. The offer is only open until the 31st of December 2021 (so about 21 hrs left), if you want to try out how it is to work with me, this is your opportunity!

If you want to know more, you can send me a message, but I will likely be on a plane, so instead book it in and if it's not right for you, you get your money back.

Read more about the offer and book it in here:
https://www.somaticintimacycoaching.com/

This photo makes me smile, it's such a cute way of sharing something I believe belongs in every school curriculum.
I have heard about schools introducing mindfulness, yoga and other tools but also how exercise, music and art are being removed.

I wish I had been taught this in school, both the theory and how to implement it in my life, because knowing something and actually doing it are two very different things! I remember having my first burnout or breakdown at the age of 12 because if my inner need for perfection. I'm still learning how to rest and when to quit before I get hurt but it's not an easy task. We are not mobile phones with a clear indicator of when we need to recharge and easily knowing how ro recharge.

Sometimes we need sleep, other times we need food, water, company, being by ourselves, exercise, not exercising, hide under a blanket, pet an animal, be in nature, alter your expectations on yourself, receive a hug, set a boundary or a thousand other things to rest and recharge.

From a person that has had her body breaking multiple times because I didn't hear or listen to my needs to rest or quit, this is an essential skill to improve both physical and mental health in our society.

*
*
*
*
*

This weeks selfcare invitations is to make a cosy dinner, whatever that might be for you!

If that is home cooked or take away, candle lights or not, wine, beer or water... Just check in with yourself what it is for you. Also see if you can break your pattern. If your normal is to eat on the sofa, maybe you can eat on the balcony if you have one or even have have picnic on the floor to have fun with it. You can play with what type of food you have, like getting Indian food and eating with your hands to be even deeper connected with the food. See what would feel fun and challenging for you!

*
*
*
*
*
👫

What is your love language?

Love language was originally founded by Gary Chapman that wrote a book about it in 1992 and is an essential part of communication within a relationship.
How do we feel loved in a relationship? Gary boiled it down to 5 different languages:

- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Giving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch

There is usually one primary language and then one or more of these that mean more to you than the others, and some of these mean more to your partner than others. The problem comes when those languages don't overlap and you are not aware of the other person's language, or maybe your not even aware of your own!

The theory is that you give love the way you want to receive love, but I do believe there is more to it than that and we can want to receive something you don't necessarily want to give an vice versa.

For example I love expressing myself through words of affirmation and physical touch to my partner, and I feel loved when I receive quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch. Receiving things like flowers (reviving gifts) makes me happy and I smile when I see them but it doesn't trigger the deep love in my core to the same degree as cuddling up in the sofa.

My partner feels loved when he receives physical touch (we have an overlap!) and when he comes home to a clean kitchen (acts of service) but he doesn't really care that much for words of affection that I say a lot and since the kitchen seldom is on my mind I don't often remember to clean it during the day, I have other things to do...

Here is where the question if your partner does love you or not, or do they not hear or understand you and what you need to feel loved and appreciated?

What is your love language? Do the test on https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes
and let me know what your language is!

There are different types of relationship coaching out there.

The three most common approaches are:
• Talk based coaching only
• Talk based coaching and one directional touch, such as Sexological bodywork
• Talk based and experimental coaching like the Somatica method
I believe they all have a place and which one to choose is based on what your needs and desires are. If you would like to know more about them, check out my blog
https://www.somaticintimacycoaching.com/post/three-approaches-to-intimacy-coaching

*
*
*
*
*
👫