The Infant Sleep Scientist

In my (educated) opinion, it is very risky. For any baby, but especially if they are neurodivergent, which you may not know when they are an infant.

Not being able to return to sleep without support is biologically normal and expected in the early years.

Rather than hindering development, co regulation to sleep supports the development of self regulation skills.

Neurodivergent, including autistic and adhd brains and nervous systems often take longer than “typical” to develop regulatory skills - and even once they do their capacity to access them may fluctuate a lot from day to day.

We can and need to support parents without expecting children to do things beyond their developmental capability and capacity. Otherwise we are not alleviating anything, we are just shifting the burden - and to the least mature brain at that.

- Dr. Jess

Coregulation isn’t just a buzzword - it’s something you’ll come back to throughout your entire parenting journey, not just in infancy.

But it plays a particularly important role when it comes to babies and sleep.

In psychology and neuroscience, coregulation describes how we regulate our emotions and behaviour in response to someone else’s emotional state.

For babies and young children with underdeveloped emotion regulation skills, this process is absolutely crucial.

This carousel dives into:

↘️ What coregulation actually is
↘️ Its role in your child’s development
↘️ The neuroscience behind it
↘️ The mirror neuron system
↘️ And what the heck it has to do with sleep...

It’s a whole lot of info so save it for later and come back to reread when you have a few minutes.

And if you know a partner, grandparent, or friend who needs to understand why responsive sleep support matters? Send this their way.

P.S. Comment FREEBIE to grab my guide: Four Science-Backed Ways to Optimise Your Baby’s Sleep

- Dr. Jess

This old gem keeps popping up… so let’s talk about it 👀

A lot of parents are told this:
“If your baby isn’t sleeping in long stretches, they must be sleep deprived.”

Sounds logical, right? Sleep matters. Development matters. Easy leap to make.

But what gets missed in this simplistic statement is that babies are meant to wake.

Fragmented sleep is biologically normal in infancy, and there’s no evidence that typical night waking in healthy babies is harmful to development.

And here’s another part that often gets skipped:

Sleep training doesn’t actually change total sleep or improve it in a meaningful way. So the idea that it boosts development via better sleep doesn’t really hold up either!!!

So no, long, uninterrupted stretches are not a requirement for healthy development.

Hope this helps clear some of the noise 💛

👉 Follow for evidence-based baby & toddler sleep info (and plenty of BS-busting).

If your baby needs touch to sleep and you’re trying to get anything done during the day… I made a free guide for that

✨ Seven Tips For Getting Things Done When Your Baby Needs Touch To Sleep

Comment SEVENTIPS and I’ll send it your way.

So if your baby wants contact, wakes a lot, or refuses the cot… that’s not “bad sleep.” That’s human sleep.

Babies haven’t changed - but our expectations can ❤️

Want to learn how to get better sleep without sleep training or guilt?

Comment SPARKLE and I’ll send you the link to my signature program: Baby Sleep Without The BS for babies 0-18 Months +

- Dr. Jess

I’m so sorry but it’s probably not what the Pinterest chart told you.

Here’s what to do: track their naps and night sleep for a few days, add it up, and compare it to what you *think* they should be getting.

Those aesthetic sleep charts often show the HIGH end of baby sleep needs.

If your baby’s on the lower end, trying to force more sleep is just making everyone miserable.

Work with *your baby’s* actual needs, not the internet’s.

What’s your baby’s actual sleep total looking like? 👇

- Dr. Jess

Swipe through and tell me if you’ve been asked / told any of these things.

P.S. If you’ve been looking for evidenced based, judgment-free support around your baby’s sleep (minus the outdated, guilt-heavy advice), my program Baby Sleep Without The BS is always open for you!!

Comment “SPARKLE”

- Dr. Jess

Split nights = those fun (read: not fun) middle-of-the-night stretches where your baby or toddler is WIDE awake.

Not tired, not settling after a feed or cuddle… just ready to party, explore, and live their best life at 2am 🙃

They’re super common in the first year, but so many of you told me they’re still popping up well into year two and beyond.

Swipe through to learn what causes them, how to troubleshoot, and what you can actually do to cope ⏩

Save this for when you really need it! ⬇️

-Dr. Jess

Somewhere along the way, we started expecting babies to be… tiny adults.

Calm all the time, barely need us, sleep like rocks, hit every milestone early, the whole thing.

No wonder so many parents feel like they’re “doing it wrong.”

We’ve normalized the most unrealistic expectations and called it good parenting.

But your baby isn’t difficult, behind, or “too dependent.”

They’re just a human who needs their person, and that’s actually the MOST normal thing in the world.

Swipe through for a reality check that might make you breathe a little easier today 💛

If you’re looking for some practical support that actually works WITH your baby’s needs, I’ve got something that might help...

My free guide: Seven Tips For Getting Things Done When Your Baby Needs Touch To Sleep

You don’t need to choose between getting stuff done and responding to your baby.

You just need strategies that make room for both.

👉Comment “SEVENTIPS” and I’ll send it straight to your DMs

Follow for more evidence-based baby sleep education, tips, and responsive parenting content.

- Dr. Jess

“Self-soothing” gets thrown around like it’s a skill babies can be trained into…

But that’s not what the science says. At all.

Swipe through and let’s unpack this properly so you can stop doubting yourself ⏩

Save this for later because this myth comes up everywhere, and parents deserve better info.

👉 Comment “FREEBIE” and I’ll send you my free guide with four science-backed ways to optimise sleep.

👆 Follow for evidence-based baby + toddler sleep support without the bulls*&t.

Everywhere I look there’s a new contraption telling parents that if we just buy this one more miracle item, our children will finally behave like tiny emotionally regulated adults who sleep on command.

The marketing is deranged. The claims are deranged. The price tags are eye-watering.

I am tired. Not regular tired. Tired in the spiritual sense.

Tired of watching parents get gaslit by products that belong in a dystopian museum.

Tired of seeing families blame themselves because a gadget didn’t magically fix sleep.

Tired of the unspoken message that your worth as a parent depends on your ability to purchase your way out of very normal developmental phases.

My feral little heart has had enough. Here is what actually changes anything.

Understanding what is happening.

Knowing how sleep works.

Knowing how nervous systems behave under stress, overstimulation, hunger, developmental leaps, sensory needs.

Knowing that your child is not malfunctioning.

Knowing that you do not need to abandon responsiveness to “get results.”

Knowledge doesn’t break. It doesn’t expire. It doesn’t sit in a cupboard mocking you. And it doesn’t end up in landfill.

So here is my Black Friday sale.

It is small and honest because I cannot pretend to be a shiny brand right now.

I just want parents to have access to support that doesn’t require them to betray their own instincts.

Let me know if you have any questions 🫶

Dr. Jess

Keyword: feel BETTER about sleep. Not perfect it - just feel better.

Ditch the rules. Get some daylight. Regulate your nervous system when it’s spiralling.

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need a few things that actually help you get through the day (and night).

What’s one rule you’re ditching today? 👇

If you want a sleep overhaul, not just a few quick tips, check out my signature program: Baby Sleep Without The BS (For babies 0-18 months +)

🙌Comment “SPARKLE” to learn more and enrol!

P.S. SAVE THIS! And send to a friend who might be struggling with sleep!

Dr. Jess