Tunnel Preparatory Academy

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In the picture teacher Tomaida on the middle while visiting her students at their village house.

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MATTHEW 18: A MAGIC BULLET?

Like everyone else in the world, Christians long for a secret formula, a "magic bullet," to correct problems. In this chapter I will point out a principle contrary to man's way but which has had almost miraculous results in bringing unity to our school family. The principle of listening to and giving only good reports about others. When I was in the business world, I operated like many other supervisors when they saw a problem in an employee. Instead of a private interview and an attempt to help the individual make a positive change, I called a meeting and took up everyone's time talking about the problem and making innuendoes about how important it was to correct it.
How often did this approach prove effective? Almost never: When I left the business world to become an administrator in a Christian school, I brought many of my secular practices with me - with just the same negative results.

Problems Unique to Schools
In the school setting I found other problems. One of them was trying to settle differences between parents and teachers. A parent would call me about a complaint, and I would carefully take down the details of the matter. Then I would talk with the teacher and his or her side of it. Then I would get back with the parent and present the teacher's side . . . ad infinitum. Sometimes the trouble would involve two teachers who were at odds with each other. I would find myself in the middle, trying to bring unity back to the staff. Then there was a matter of students who approached me with tales about other students who were breaking rules or becoming involved in questionable activities. I would chase all over the place putting out bush fires.

The Matthew 18 Principle
Then, thank God, I received a teaching on what was an obscure passage of Scripture to me, Matt 18:15-16:
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother: But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. I realised it was not my place to settle disputes among other people. It was my place to listen to and give only good reports about others and to help my staff do the same. When I started practising this and teaching it to our staff, it began to build unity so effectively that I can almost compare it to a "magic bullet."

Communication
In every school (as in every home and every church) there are a multitude of interpersonal relationships. If Satan can cut off any line of communication, he will score a victory. In a great many Christian schools that is exactly what is happening. People end offending others and being offended themselves because of the gossip and slander that prevail. In such an atmosphere it is impossible to enjoy the presence of God or to impress our students with His love and power. In my first book, "Educating for Eternity", I shared the principle of loving honestly. In this book I want to report when I wrote about what I call the Matthew 18 Principle, I have found it is worth working toward. No one will practise it perfectly, but when it is our honest intention to entertain only good reports, we make great strides toward unity and spiritual power. At this writing our school family finds the practice of good report has become a part of the milieu. In fact, seldom do I have a parent call me with a complaint about a teacher. We did not reach this point quickly. I can remember when I first started to apply Matthew 18 to our school family. A typical case would involve a parent calling me to express dissatisfaction with the teacher. As quickly and kindly as possible, I would interrupt and say, "I appreciate your concern, but I have committed myself to listen to only good reports about others. I must ask you before you go any further, have you spoken with the teacher about this problem?" Nine times out of ten, the answer would be no. I would then say, "Would you please talk with the teacher and try to reach an understanding? I'll put a note in that teacher's box to call you today. If you are not satisfied, please come back to me and I will go with you as a witness to discuss the matter further." Almost without exception the matter would be settled without any further involvement on my part.

Nothing Is 100%
I remember the first time it didn't work. The parent came back and said, "I can't reach an understanding with that teacher. I need you to go with me as a witness." Since the teacher had an off period at that time, I accompanied the parent down the hall to the classroom. I was sweating and praying all the way. I did not know how to handle this type of situation. I felt totally unprepared. As I listened to the two of them talk, I silently asked the Lord to help me know what to say. Finally God gave me a couple of key questions. When I asked them, both the teacher and the parent broke down and wept. They both were wrong. They realised it and embraced. As a result, their relationship was strengthened. We were all blessed because we saw God honour His word by working out a thorny problem between two believers.

But That's Just The Way They Are!
Often school administrators will hesitate to love honestly in the matters of employee relationships. Perhaps there is a teacher who is habitually tardy with reports or who neglects submitting lesson plans as required or who has some other chronic problem. The principal may hesitate to confront the teacher because in most areas she (he) is doing well. The administrator's line of thinking may be something like this: "That's just the way she (he) is. I'll put up with this problem, even though it galls me every time it comes to mind." That administrator is not loving honestly. Even worse, discontent spreads among the rest of the staff when there is chronic violation on the part of one member. So what is a principal to do? I contend that God's solution is to set up a private meeting with the offending teacher and begin something like this: "I want to be able always to give a good report about you, and there is something that concerns me. Could you share with me why you have this problem . . . ? Very often such loving confrontations result in a stronger relationship with teachers because they sense the principal is loyal and will not speak ill behind their backs, but personally seek to resolve a difficulty.

Shrugging It Off
Because of the court cases that are now entangling Christian Schools, we must be aware that the opposition is going to put the staff's weakest on the witness stand. That teacher will be the one who is asked what your school is about. If we are concerned for the cause of Christ, we will help the weaker teacher to come up to the level of performance in which she (he) will demonstrate Christ. Each of us has blind spots. When other believers just shrug and say, "That's the way she (he) is," they ignore their opportunities to help a fellow believer grow and improve.

Administrators Need Love Too
As a superintendent, sometimes I find myself in an especially isolated place. Others feel afraid to point out blind spots to me. One teacher who has been on my faculty for over fifteen years loves me enough to confront me when I have made a decision or taken an action that he feels is not what it should be. At times I may be defensive with him, but I always appreciate his courage in confronting me. Often he is right and I am wrong. I can tell you one thing for sure: our friendship is strong and deep because he loves me enough to help me grow. Over the years there have been a few others who have come and exhorted me, but not many. It grieves me that more teachers do not feel free to do so. If we administrators demonstrate that we want teachers to help us overcome our blind spots, it becomes easier for them to accept it when we love them honestly.

One Goal
This attitude demonstrates that we have one goal. That is not to build up an administrator or a teacher, but to exalt Jesus Christ and build His body of believers.

The Teachers' Lounge
Probably one of the places where the Matt 18 Principle is most violated is in the teachers' lounge. "Why in the world did they make a policy like that?" "That's the dumbest administrative move I've ever heard of!"
When teachers get together and tear down a building principal, it colours the entire atmosphere of the entire school. How much better if the teacher will go privately and inquire about the basis for a decision, offering suggestions for modification or helpful ideas. Teachers may fear retaliation, but a frigid, authoritarian atmosphere in the school causes everyone to lose. Sometimes all it takes is one teacher who will be courageous and approach an administrator with honest love. That example may start a whole chain of events that will open clogged lines of communication.

Fear, A Barrier to the Principle
One day a parent approached me with a complaint about a teacher. I followed my procedure and asked her if she had spoken with the teacher yet. "Why, no," she said. "I couldn't do that. That teacher scares me to death!"
I took the Bible and showed her Matt 18:15-16. We also read Gal 6:1 together: Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. I asked her, "Do you believe God wants you to go to that teacher?" She said yes. I asked, "Do you believe God will honour His Word if you obey Him?" She nodded. She went to talk to the teacher. Later she returned, beaming. "It works!" she said. "It works!" Sure it works. But even if she had not seen immediate results, she would have had the satisfaction of knowing she had obeyed God. Parents sometimes hesitate to talk with teachers because they are afraid the teachers will "take it out" on their children. We need to encourage them to understand that even if that should happen - and it never should happen in a Christian school! But if it did - God is in control. He can use even that teacher's negative reaction to cause the child to grow.

Secure Relationships
The Matt 18 Principle builds security. It is wonderful to know that my teachers are confident in my loyalty to them. They know that if I have a problem, I will come directly to them in person, not to someone else about the matter.
I am convinced that you should not even tell your spouse of a complaint against someone until you have first spoken to that someone. If you have tried to confront in love and the interview has not gone well, you might ask your spouse for advice on how to proceed, but it is neither necessary nor wise to share the details of the complaint with anyone outside the problem, not even your spouse. Such a sharing sows seeds of distrust and suspicion. It may even cause the one you talked to to take up an offence for you. When this occurs, you have not only spread the original problem, you have caused spiritual injury to the one with whom you have shared. God gives you the grace to handle the problem, but he does not give the same grace to those whom you share it with unless they are already part of the problem or can reasonably be expected to be part of the solution. Keep the circle small: Who is part of the problem? Who will be part of the solution? Make sure you deal with these questions as honestly as possible and then keep the details within that circle.

To Restore, Not to Accuse
The purpose of going to the fellow believer is to restore, never to accuse. Gal 6:1 admonishes us to examine our lives first and then go in a spirit of meekness. I find the habits of others that most grate on me are the habits in my own life. One of my daughters is just like me in her personality, and I have been harsh with her because I see my own faults in her. When we approach people in a judgmental spirit, we immediately turn them off. But if we come in love and meekness, considering our own faults, the other party will sense we have their best interest at heart.
Another important safety guard is to make sure that you do not talk to anyone else about his fault until you have first talked to the Lord about that person. It is vital that we pray for those with whom we work, with whom we live, and with whom we worship.
1Sam 12:23 indicates that it is a sin against the Lord to fail to pray for others.