29/04/2021
Futuristic snake rescue expectations:
When you receive a call to come rescue a snake and the conversation starts with:
Snake rescuer: "Where is the snake right now? Can you still see it?"
Caller: "No I can't see it anymore but I know exactly where it is"
Snake rescuer: "Please describe where the snake has disappeared into/under/behind and so on"
And one of the following answers are provided:
Option 1:
Caller: "It is slithered under our wendy house..."
Option 2:
Caller: "We have a pile of garden rubble/compost heap/building rubble and the snake slithered into *one of the above mentioned variables..."
Option 3:
Caller: "We have an old tree stump/slab of concrete and it slithered undeneath/into the stump/concrete slab..."
Option 4:
Caller: "We live next to a veld/We have a patch of tall/unkempt grass. The snake slithered into the tall grass and we feel unsafe. Can you come and find it for us?"
Your excitement to do a rescue, your drive, your will, your mental state, fitness to drive anywhere, call it what you will......suddenly 'parks'
Any snake rescuers 'biggest nightmare'.
Old tree stumps, wendy houses and rubble piles rank up there on the list of places where we know we're going to work our buts off and probably never find the snake.
Option 1 expanded:
"It slithered underneath our wendy house..."
- Most Wendy houses are close enough to the boundary walls or other bordering structures to be used as that secret; "I actually needed to chuck this away but dont feel comfortable doing so just yet so let me chuck it here and let it pile up with time."
- They are very rarely suspended on a proper concrete slab or decently paved areas which allows for rodents to create a maize of tunnels underneath them, a brilliant escape route for the snake in question.
- Your removal tools can't fit through and under the Wendy properly as it was built, suspended on anything from planks, bricks, stacked roof tiles, has grass growing under it with years of leaves and other rubble filling the remaining space between these suspension objects.
- Even if it is clean underneath yet has no proper concrete slab, the snake is coiled up in one of the numerous little nooks behind one of the objects used to suspend the structure, between the structure and a wall (where most normal sized people will not fit into.
Your tools won't reach or the snake has already disappeared into one of the rodent tunnels or decided to hide under the stacked roof tiles, bricks, fire wood or the secret dump space right next to it.
- The Wendy house wasn't properly maintained and has holes leading into it. It has however been stacked to the roof with boxes and boxes full of the heaviest items you can think off.
Option 2 expanded:
"We have a pile of garden rubble/compost heap/building rubble and the snake slithered into *one of the above mentioned variables..."
- Typically there would be a pile of building material/rubble, automotive or machine spares, garden rubble and more, possibly bordering 4 more piles consisting from whatever the imagination can dish up.
80% of the time, these piles (suddenly the rear end feels uncomfortable) also borders veld or unkempt overgrown patches of grass and weeds.
- No. We do not have a special chemical that if sprayed 'flushes' snakes out of their hiding spot and no. We do not have a specialised scanning device that will help us pin point the position of said snake.
- It is virtually impossible to find a snake in such a situation. Anything from an hour and more to literally move the pile and as most people prefer being part of a safe audience environment in this case, you know you are going to sweat it out for a mere 10% chance of actually finding anything.
Option 3 expanded:
"We have an old tree stump/slab of concrete and it slithered undeneath/into the stump/concrete slab..."
- That old tree stump, lying on it's side, concrete slab under the garage, from the neighbour's side, requires, at the bare minimum, a forklift to lift it, nevermind move it or unpack the decades of old items stacked on top of it.
- The dogs, local rodents or other animals dug holes all around or under it.
- It is overgrown with grass and as you try rip it away, you find old curtain rails, dumpies from 1980, broken bathroom tiles and wood that was meant to be used for the braai many moons ago.
- The stump left behind after cutting down the old tree a decade ago, had roots growing down into the soil, almost the size of the original crown of the tree and has rotten away naturally leaving tunnels behind going meters and meters down, splitting where no one can reach that snake, even after emptying your pool contents down one of the now hollow root tunnels
"We saw the snake go under that concrete slab" and you shoulders sag already. "No no. It is a small slab. You can lift it."
- You get there and you realise, you need a removal company to remove all the items on top of it. (You're probably going to become that 'company', only for free and as a one man show)
- It is the slab sticking out from the neighbours side.
- You need a crane to lift it.
It is virtually impossible to remove the snake or even find it to start with.
Option 4 expanded:
"We live next to a veld/We have a patch of tall/unkempt grass. The snake slithered into the tall grass and we feel unsafe. Can you come and find it for us?"
- As with 2.1, we do not have special chemicals or scanners to help us find the snake.
-Keep overgrowth from becoming your now horticultural experience, keep the grass short or simply let the snake be if it slithered into the veld next door.
- We won't find the snake in there.
Then, just to round it off:
Apart from these situations a snake was seen anywhere from a few hours to 3 weeks ago. It took the caller a while to convince themselves that they are really uncomfortable with a snake having been around at some stage, then a further hour or more to actually call a snake rescuer.
The snake is then marketed as being seen just 5 minutes ago by someone who probably isn't on site or hasn't been to the property for an extended period who then expects you to come find the illusive snake.
Only once you arrive on site, ask more questions as to the last spot where the snake was observed, do you realise this truth.
Sometimes you are left to find the impossible and only after giving up and unknowingly gave the caller their much needed confirmation of no snake found, will the caller let you in on this little secret.
We do not drive around with lifting equipment, jack hammers, demolishing equipment, excavating equipment, lumber equiment and the likes.
We do not have snake rescue tarot cards or sci-fi like snake scanners.
We were not born with psychic snake searching abilities.
We are normal people (well we would at least like to believe so) with the necessary training, experience and passion to rescue snakes......if it is visible and if it can be reached.
Other than keeping your property clean from overgrowth, garden rubble, building rubble wood piles, machinary and other objects just standing around with no purpose, keeping the lawn short and neat please:
When you do see a snake:
- Move kids and dogs out of harms way.
- Call your nearest snake rescuer.
- Keep an eye on the snake's whereabouts from a safe distance (5m minimum) until the snake rescuer arrives and safely removes the snake.
Simple as that.