Nurture with Nozi

The way we raise our children has the power to change the world!

It’s so important to teach children kindness.
By instilling a sense of compassion in your child, you can help them become a kind and caring person.

We can create a more compassionate and understanding world if we raise a generation of kind people.
How have you shown your child kindness today?

In our discussion with Aubrey Masango on this evening, we delved into the importance of being more intentional in our approach to parenting during the festive season.

We highlighted the need to reconsider certain traditions we’ve inherited, such as the practice of removing children from their beds and making them sleep on the floor, often to instill a sense of respect for elders. However, it's vital to recognise that children deserve respect just as adults do; their age doesn’t diminish their worth.

We also, we touched upon the practice of coercing children into hugging and kissing extended family members, disregarding their expressed discomfort. Respecting their boundaries, even when it comes to physical affection, is crucial.

May this December break offer you a chance to prioritise your relationship with your child. Building this connection fosters an environment where your child willingly follows your guidance.

Are you aware that comparing your child to others can inadvertently affect their self-confidence? 🚫✨

Embrace the uniqueness of your child’s journey.

Let's foster an environment where individuality thrives, allowing our children to shine in their own beautiful way. 🌈💫

When I hear educators or decision makers in a private schools say, “that is how I have been doing things for over 20 years and it’s worked to ‘produce results’” – I feel despair and deep sadness in my heart 😞💔

This outdated approach stifles creativity, hampers the development of crucial life skills, and fails to prioritise emotional well-being of our kids.

To address these shortcomings, a shift towards student-centered education is necessary.

As a parents, may you always know that you play a crucial role in your child’s education and have the power to influence change. By paying attention to the failings of the traditional education system and advocating for reform, you can help shape a better learning environment for your children.

Some of the reasons why you should get involved as a parent:

▶️ You can advocate for a curriculum that goes beyond academic subjects (in a private school environment) and includes practical skills, real-world relevance, and social-emotional learning. This will help your child develop into well-rounded individual, capable of navigating the complexities of life.

▶️ By actively engaging with your children's education, you can create a supportive and encouraging atmosphere at home. This includes open communication, providing resources and learning opportunities outside of school, and nurturing a love for lifelong learning.

▶️ As a parents can prioritise your children's emotional well-being by encouraging self-awareness, empathy, and resilience. This involves being attuned to their child's needs, advocating for mental health support in schools, and modeling a healthy balance.

As parents, we have a vital role to play in addressing the failings of the traditional education system.

We were raised to believe that there are people who are smart and those who aren’t! Research on growth mindset vs. Fixed mindset suggests otherwise.

Fixed Mindset: I’m either good at something or I’m not.
Growth Mindset: I can improve my skills with effort and practice.

A fixed mindset means you believe intelligence, talent, and other qualities are innate and unchangeable. If you’re not good at something, you typically think you will never be good at it.
A growth mindset means you believe intelligence and talent can be developed with practice and effort.

Cultivating a growth mindset is key to creating an environment that sets your child up for success.

Do you worry about hard your child can be on themselves when they don’t achieve their goals?

We were raised to believe that it’s either you can do something or you can’t. That there are children who are “smart” and there are those who are not.

The truth is that every child has what it takes to succeed and master any task that they pursue, when we as parents create the environment that supports our children in doing by;
- Appreciating the value of struggle as a learning exercise
- Not setting your child up for failure
- Supporting and not “rescuing”
- Empathising when your child experiences frustration from the natural process of learning

Children are motivated towards mastery when they experience the pleasure of pursuing an interest and overcoming the inevitable challenges of mastering it!

Children whose parents come to the rescue every time something goes slightly wrong don’t learn to take responsibility.

This is a particularly becomes a serious issue when kids grow and start gaining adult ‘rights’ and entering the workforce.
To become an adult, one needs to accept responsibility for the natural consequences of their actions, make decisions independent of their parents, and be financially independent.

Emerging adults who have a stable role of responsibility feel more independent.

They develop a better sense of self-identity and self-efficacy.
This can extremely exhausting as a parent, when your are the one of the drivers seat of your child’s life and it’s every parents nightmare to be parenting a grown adult who is lacking the skills of taking responsibility for their lives.

You don’t have to wait until your child is 23 years old to become aware of the things you are unintentionally doing that perpetuate this behaviour in your child

Punishment is defined as an action with an intent to hurt, either physically or psychologically in order to teach a lesson.

Punishment is effective only to the degree that the child experiences it as painful, so while as parents we may think we are using “loving punishment” to teach our children, the child will never experience punishment as loving.

Punishment doesn’t work to teach children better behaviour.
Studies show that punishment creates more “bad” behaviour. Not just that children who behave badly get punished more, but that children who get punished more will behave badly more often over time.
That’s because punishment reaches all the wrong reasons.

If we want to raise successful, happy and confident kids, we have to let go of using punishment and other behaviour modification strategies to teach our children.

Structure and routines teach children how to constructively manage themselves and their environments.

Example: In homes where there is no set time or space to do homework, kids don’t get the opportunity to learn how to sit themselves down to accomplish an unpleasant task.

Kids who don’t develop basic self-care routines, from grooming to food, may find it hard to take care of themselves as young adults.

Structure allows us to internalize constructive habits.

Establishing routines and structures that help to run your home smoothly also frees you up and gives you energy to have meaningful and quality time with your child.

A coaching space for parents who desire to raise successful, happy and confident kids.