Doodlebugs

A school with a big HEART

Operating as usual

Timeline photos 22/05/2022

Timeline photos

"Childhood serves a purpose; it isn't something to "get through" or speed up. It's there to protect developing minds. To nurture young souls. So, let's give our kids the space to be unbusy. Let's unschedule. Let's "miss out". Let's hold the space for childhood. Because childhood isn't a dress rehearsal for adulthood."
โ€”Tracy Gillett

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22/05/2022

Boundaries on behaviour

Timeline photos 21/05/2022

Timeline photos

There is a difference between โ€˜self-regulation' and โ€˜self-control'. Despite so many parents seeing references to self-control on their 's report cards, one is often mistakenly confused with the other. And because a child needs self-regulation before they can exhibit self-control, it can be for a child when the latter is demanded in lieu of the former being developed.

Did you know there are 447 different uses of โ€œself-regulationโ€ in scientific literature from which 446 variations are about -control (Burman, Green, & Shanker, 2015). The two terms are somewhat convoluted, even throughout child development literature.

As Jeremy Burman, author of self-regulation research alongside renowned Dr Stuart Shanker, says, โ€œWhen there are thousands of partially-conflicting studies, with new ones being published every day, you can't just 'read more.' You need to approach the subject in a different way." Recent research into self-regulation follows this line of reasoning, showing that the cognitive and physiological mechanisms involved in developing, experiencing and dealing with self-regulation issues are separate from those involving self-control.

๐Ÿฌ SELF
Self-control became a focus in psychological research largely due to the โ€œdelay of gratificationโ€ studies that began to appear in the late 1960s (Mischel, 2014; Mischel, Ebbesen, & Raskoff Zeiss, 1972). These studies showed that problems in self-control could be detected in children as young as four, and that these problems were associated with challenges in emotion-regulation and executive functions (Eisenberg et al., 1995; Blair & Razza, 2007; Diamond & Lee, 2011).

The self-control paradigm became dominant because of the longitudinal studies showing that the children identified at a young age as having poor self-control fared worse over the long run, both physically and academically, and had significantly higher rates of internalizing and externalizing disorders as young adults (Moffitt et al. 2011; Mischel, Shoda, & Rodriguez, 1989). This research led many to conclude that children should be taught in primary school how to control their impulses (Schlam, Wilson, Shoda, Mischel, & Ayduk, 2013; Diamond, Barnett, Thomas, & Munro, 2007).

๐Ÿคฑ๐Ÿพ SELF
In 1865, the father of modern physiology, Claude Bernard, inaugurated the scientific study of what came to be known as self-regulation. Bernard was interested in the mechanisms that enabled an organism to maintain a stable internal state in response to both internal and external โ€œperturbations,โ€ what Walter Bradford Cannon (1932) later defined as โ€œstressors.โ€ In its original psychophysiological sense, self-regulation refers to the way one recovers from the expenditure of energy required to deal with stressors.

In psychophysiology terms, self-regulation is a prerequisite for exercising self-control. An unstable internal state can lead to a limbic responseโ€” fight-or-flight, or freeze (a primitive neural response to threat easily misconstrued as compliance)โ€” and impinge on the functioning of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain governing self-control (Porges, 2011; McEwen, 2007).

The more an individual is chronically hypo- or hyper-aroused because of excessive stress, the more readily that person goes into fight-or-flight, or freeze (Lillas & Turnbull, 2008). These fight, flight, and freeze limbic states suppress, and at times โ€œbrake,โ€ the necessary mechanisms in the prefrontal cortex for the practice of self-control.

Learning 'self-regulation' involves:
๐Ÿง  Learning how to monitor and manage your internal states;
๐Ÿง  Understanding what it feels like to be calm and alert; and
๐Ÿง  Learning to recognize when certain activities help you to return yourself to those states most easily, as well as what pulls you out of them.

As you can see, self-regulation is not self-control. In fact, self-regulation is what makes self-control possible.

https://cstu.io/a41ff1
https://cstu.io/523169

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Timeline photos 14/05/2022

Timeline photos

Wise advice from Eric Carle. โค๐Ÿ›

13/05/2022

Weekend loading . . .

Timeline photos 11/05/2022

Timeline photos

"Every has a corresponding challenge and every challenge has a corresponding strength. The inattentive child may be a deep thinker. The uncooperative child may be a good leader. The emotionally-charged child may be gifted with exceptional empathy. The rule-defying child may be an out-of-the-box innovator.
When faced with challenging , look for the corresponding strength, and focus on that gift while providing gentle guidance and coping techniques for the challenging areas. That is the essence of working with, instead of against, our children."
โ€”L.R. Knost

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11/05/2022

Why do moms yell?

Because weโ€™re overwhelmed.

Because no oneโ€™s listening.

Because our kids are about to get hurt. โ€œDonโ€™t put your hand in there!โ€

Because the mess keeps piling up, and we're the only ones cleaning nonstop.

We yell as our arms charge up and down into the air.

We scream as our voice accelerates and our cheeks flush.

And then after we do, we feel immense guilt, defeated, and like we want to break down into tears.

We don't want to get to that point. We hate when it happens. But it does more than we'd like to admit.

Are all moms angry, and that's why we yell? No, we donโ€™t wake up this way.

We find ourselves losing it because this parenting thing is hard.
We lose it because we have so much anxiety and no outlet.

We lose it because weโ€™re exhausted to the point where our brain is functioning at 10% battery, and we need more than a good night's sleep to recover. We need a break: because weโ€™re tired of doing everything, of nobody listening, of not being appreciated.

But just because we lose it doesnโ€™t make us bad parents. Weโ€™re just humans who care more than anything in this world about our children and the type of humans they'll become, all while wanting to keep them safe, that we get frustrated with them and mess up ourselves.

We donโ€™t want them to be brats. So, sometimes we yell.

We donโ€™t want them to hurt each other, and if they do that to each other, they must do that to other kids. So, sometimes we yell.

We care so much about them that we get run down from trying so hard all the timeโ€ฆ

โ€ฆso, of course, we lose it.

And youโ€™re not alone in this constant battle of losing it and feeling bad. Every single parent struggles because weโ€™re human, and parentingโ€™s messy, so we arenโ€™t going to stay calm every confrontation of the day.

So if this is you today,

give yourself grace,

apologize for losing it,

and try better next time.

Youโ€™re still a good mom.

๐Ÿ“ธ: angelica.ch.r

.....................................................โฃ
My Childrenโ€™s Book ๐˜๐˜ตโ€™๐˜ด ๐˜–๐˜ฌ๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜•๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜–๐˜ฌ๐˜ข๐˜บ: ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฅ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ต๐˜ด ๐˜Ž๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜‰๐˜ช๐˜จ ๐˜๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ด ๐˜›๐˜ฐ๐˜ฐ is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc

Photos from Doodlebugs's post 08/05/2022

Happiest of Motherโ€™s Day to all our special mommies

Timeline photos 07/05/2022

Timeline photos

Most of us donโ€™t intentionally shame our children, but still be aware that, to an extent, itโ€™s most probably deeply programmed somewhere in their brains, from before their earliest memories.

Because, when your baby stuck their fingers in a plug socket, while firmly saying โ€˜NO!โ€™ was absolutely necessary, that kind of teaching is so powerful at such an early age, because itโ€™s shame doing the work.

And accept that without shame, because that was an essential part of keeping them alive.

But when your child is โ€˜over sensitiveโ€™; when their behaviors are confusing, dramatic or over-the-top; when they give themselves (and you!) a hard time, even when theyโ€™re sad'; itโ€™s often just because shame is driving the bus.

Empathy and connection; not problem-solving; are your allies in those moments.

And because youโ€™re in charge of programming growing brains, try to steer clear of shaming yourself, even in your moments of less-than-ideal parenting.

Instead show your children how to be self-compassionate... How to be a perfectly imperfect, flawed human being. Itโ€™s one of the greatest gifts we can ever give our kids

๐Ÿ’ฅ Brought to you by one of Neurochild's Brain Trust, Jo Stockdale with Well Within Reach
For the full post, visit: https://cstu.io/7ceba6

Timeline photos 07/05/2022

Timeline photos

"The most useful toys are those that require the most action on the part of a young child. The more children have to use their minds and bodies to make something work, the more they learn."
โ€” Rebecca Parlakian

โœจ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Neurochild please submit your details here http://bit.ly/neurochild-connect

07/05/2022
06/05/2022

โ€œAt the age of 10-12 months when a child begins to walk, the bones of the foot are only partially ossified, are in reality but an orderly arrangement of cartilaginous masses.โ€ - Functional Disorders of the Foot by Frank D. Dickinson, MD ๐Ÿฆถ๐Ÿฝ

The implications of this are that little feet are extremely malleable, and will adapt to whatever environment they are put in. We want our children to grow up with natural shaped feet, not shoe-shaped feet. Keep those little paws out of shoes as long as possible. ๐Ÿพ

๐Ÿ“ธ @Kai.plasencia

Learn more: https://returntonow.net/.../stop-forcing-kids-to-keep.../

04/05/2022

Think about this...

03/05/2022

Kids Who Use Smartphones Start Talking Later | Kids Development

Timeline photos 03/05/2022

Timeline photos

"When a child is moving though the world differently, they are often all too aware that they don't quite fit in. But when parents commit to creating an environment where their child can let down their defenses, there is no limit to their growth."
โ€” Debbie Reber

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Timeline photos 02/05/2022

Timeline photos

"The most profound thing we have to offer our own children is our own healing."
โ€”Anne Lamott

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Timeline photos 28/04/2022

Timeline photos

"Children want the same things we want. To laugh, to be challenged, to be entertained, to be delighted."
โ€” Dr. Seuss

If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Neurochild please submit your details here http://bit.ly/neurochild-connect

26/04/2022
Timeline photos 24/04/2022

Timeline photos

โ€œWhenever children say โ€˜letโ€™s pretendโ€™, a new landscape of possibilities is revealed. When children , they try on new feelings, roles and ideas. They stretch their minds along with their imagination.โ€
โ€”Deb Curtis & Maggie Carter

โœจ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Neurochild please submit your details here http://bit.ly/neurochild-connect

Photos from Doodlebugs's post 24/04/2022

Thank you Belinda and your team from KAWS for having our Grade Rs come to visit . We had such a special time with all the kitties and doggies โค๏ธโค๏ธ

23/04/2022

Music and learning โฃ๏ธ

23/04/2022

True!

Timeline photos 22/04/2022

Timeline photos

"While our society is busy wondering & theorizing about what children need most, simply holds a space for the child to discover that for themselves."
โ€” Nicolette Sowder

โœจ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Neurochild please submit your details here http://bit.ly/neurochild-connect

20/04/2022

โค them today TEACH them tomorrow.

20/04/2022
Timeline photos 18/04/2022

Timeline photos

Childrenโ€™s ability to move and play are being restricted more than ever. We are trying to protect them by saying โ€œNo climbing,โ€ โ€œNo running,โ€ โ€œNo spinning,โ€ โ€œThatโ€™s too dangerous,โ€ and โ€œGet down from there!โ€ However, research shows that the drastic decline in โ€œriskyโ€ outdoor play in kids is creating behavior problems. By constantly hovering over kids, restricting their movement, and diminishing their time to play, we are causing more harm than good.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (2013), a recent study shows that the average child spends eight hours a day in front of screens (television, video games, computers, smart phones, and so on). Older children and adolescents are spending an average of eleven hours a day in front of screens (Hanscom 2016). Thatโ€™s a huge amount of time spent in front of screens, which provide little to no proprioceptive or vestibular input. In prior generations, this time was spent outdoors or in play.

In order for kids to listen, focus and learn to sit still for a period of time, they must develop both proprioception and vestibular sense. The most critical time to develop a childโ€™s proprioception and vestibular sense is before age six. With all the time spent in front of screens and telling kids to sit still, avoid climbing, and stop jumping, itโ€™s not surprising why kids wonโ€™t listen.

โ€ข Proprioception is what tells you where your body parts are without having to look at them. This is the sense that helps you make sense of gravity. Itโ€™s the reason you can switch from the gas pedal to the brake without looking at your feet, or bring popcorn to your mouth without taking your eyes off the movie screen. Without properly developed proprioception, kids can push too hard during tag, fall out of their seat at the dinner table, or trip while walking up stairs.

โ€ข Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. This is the sense that helps you understand balance, and it connects with all the other senses. When the vestibular system does not develop properly all other senses will struggle to function properly. Without a strong vestibular sense, kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, experience more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking, and struggle with focusing and listening. Because they literally cannot help it.

In order for kids to learn to listen, focus and follow directions as they grow, they need to develop proprioception and vestibular sense by experiencing many physical challenges during childhood.

When children jump, swing, spin, pick up rocks or dig in the dirt, kids are doing exactly what they need. They arenโ€™t intentionally doing it to get hurt, act rambunctiously, worry you or get messy. They are doing it to help themselves become safer, calmer and happier kids.
https://cstu.io/4b8241

โœจ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Neurochild please submit your details here http://bit.ly/neurochild-connect

18/04/2022

All children are "good" children ๐Ÿ’™

Timeline photos 14/04/2022

Timeline photos

"If children feel safe, they can take risks, ask questions, make mistakes, learn to trust, share their feelings, and grow."
โ€”Alfie Kohn

โœจ If you would like to be kept in the loop on everything Neurochild please submit your details here http://bit.ly/neurochild-connect

Timeline photos 13/04/2022

Timeline photos

The reason implementing boundaries can be so difficult is because nobody wants the conflict that often ensues.

We all know that fulfilling parenting is less about โ€˜๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ?โ€™ but, especially while weโ€™ve got far too much on our ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ฏ plate, itโ€™s too easy for our big ego to step in and insist โ€˜๐˜โ€™๐˜ฎ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜จ๐˜ฆโ€™.

Regardless of the issue, we insist that the same blanket-rule should apply, but it's that inflexibility and rigidity that can dismantle all our โ€˜peaceful parentingโ€™ dreams, in a heartbeat.

Hereโ€™s ๐˜ข ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ค๐˜ฆ between a child who works ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ you, and not ๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ข๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ต you.

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐—ท๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜๐˜† ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฎ๐˜ ๐˜„๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ธ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ ๐™—๐™š๐™๐™–๐™ซ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ค๐™ง ๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™™๐™š ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™ค๐™—๐™ก๐™š๐™ข ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฐ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฎ ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ข๐™ข๐™ช๐™ฃ๐™ž๐™˜๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™ค๐™—๐™ก๐™š๐™ข.

Here are ๐Ÿฑ ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ถ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—น, ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฒ๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ, ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—บ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ถ๐—ผ๐—ป with your kids!

๐Ÿญ) ๐—ง๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€

If your child hates setting the table, is it SO important?
Can they do another task and ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ญ๐˜ญ be helpful?
Having a sense of '๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ' in the proceedings; rather than being overpowered; is key to avoiding combat.

๐Ÿฎ) ๐— ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ง๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ

Give children notice around those points, offering countdowns wherever possible; i.e. 10 more mins, 5, 2 and 1.

๐Ÿฏ) ๐—›๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ๐—ฌ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚?

Donโ€™t assume that, because your child is nodding, that theyโ€™ve heard you; when they just want you off their back, theyโ€™re not really tuned in.
Ask them to look up, and at you, and to repeat to you.

๐Ÿฐ) ๐—š๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ โ€˜๐—–๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฉ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฒโ€™

Yes, children may want it their โ€˜own wayโ€™, but they probably donโ€™t like fighting any more than you do.
So, BEFORE the trigger point arises, explain your concern, then ask for ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ณ input. It's always going to be easier to implement boundaries that your childโ€™s agreed to already.

๐Ÿฑ) ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฃ๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ช๐—ถ๐—ด๐—ด๐—น๐—ฒ-๐—ฅ๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—บ!

There's a lot of power in a little negotiation! If agreeing to two more minutes is the difference between a meltdown or not, it's not you 'giving in'.

Boundaries make for security, predictability and consistency; all very useful for children whoโ€™ve lived with a great deal of uncertainty in recent times; but they donโ€™t have to be an electric fence!

๐Ÿ’ฅ Brought to you by one of Neurochild's Brain Trust, Jo Stockdale with Well Within Reach
For the full post, visit:
https://cstu.io/c2465c

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03 Dikkop Street
Knysna
6570

Opening Hours

Monday 07:30 - 17:00
Tuesday 07:30 - 17:00
Wednesday 07:30 - 17:00
Thursday 07:30 - 17:00
Friday 07:30 - 17:00

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