03/03/2022
Testimonial Tuesday
Finally, one night, when my son was just over six months old, I fantasized about jumping off a cliff into a sea of warm, black water. I'd sink, slowly, and it would be so peaceful, so quiet, as I let the water fill my lungs and I slept, and slept, and slept.
So. That didn't seem quite healthy. Even to someone so tired I'd recently tried to breastfeed the cat.
With the blessing of my public health nurse, my pediatrician, and a study that it was unlikely to harm his emotional state, I started sleep training my son the next night.
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I still cringe when I admit that it came to this. As with most parenting decisions, there's a lot of shame and judgment when it comes to sleep training.
The first thing those looking to judge need to know is that sleep training doesn't necessarily mean abandoning your baby to cry alone in a dark room. It means teaching your baby how to fall asleep on their own and getting them used to routines and schedules to signal that it's bedtime. There are a variety of methods to do this. Yes, many of them involve letting your baby cry for periods of time as they get used to the idea. Yes, it feels terrible.
The second thing those looking to judge need to know is I don't think anyone sets out to sleep train. Does any parent really think they're going to have a baby so dead-set against sleep that they find themselves fantasizing about getting hit by a car JUST SO THEY CAN CATCH A FEW WINKS? Of course not.
The third thing people who judge need to know about sleep training is not to judge.
It took time, a lot of effort, and I'm still a slave to routine and schedule, but I'm now one of those jerk moms who complains about getting woken up at 5:30 a.m. But when people tell me how lucky I am that my son goes to bed at 7 p.m. each night and stays there until morning, I tell them that luck had nothing to do with it.