Shifting Perspective

Shifting Perspective Gail Friend Parenting Coach Mom of 2 NLP Certified
Tantrums, Power Struggles, Defiance. You don’t need more patience - you need a parenting strategy

I help parents of 1 - 10 year olds go from chaos to cooperation without shouting. * Ditch the guilt, shame, burn out, and people-pleasing mom role and shift into being a Queen mom who sets boundaries, isn’t afraid to say NO, and loves, values, nurtures, and respects herself!

* Find fun and joy in your daily family life as you drop the stress and overwhelm from your schedule.

* Stop feeling fra

zzled and frustrated with your children as you move into a space of deep joy, peace, and happiness that will keep you smiling even in the face of a toddler’s tantrums.

* Remove the guilt from wanting time for yourself and shift into a confident mom who claims her right to do the things which light up her mind, body, and spirit with rejuvenating joy. Practical Solutions for:
Sibling rivalry
Daily routines like morning and night time
Different parenting styles (mom and dad)
Parent emotions like guilt, impatience, shouting, frustration
Discipline
Confidence
Divorce
Blended families
Power struggles

I am a mom of 2 awesome adult sons and a qualified NLP Coach and EFT Practitioner. I started as a parent with no skills and 2 sons, one with special needs whom I was told would never read or write. To say I really struggled is a gross understatement. At my lowest point where I was divorced, raising 2 young boys on my own and my special needs son deciding to leave home, I made a vow that I was going to do things differently. I was determined to find a way to have a happy, deeply connected home where both boys achieve their full potential. I focused on how I was showing up in each interaction (that’s all I had control of) and truly understanding what was behind their behaviour. I became intentional with what words I used and how I developed the way my boys interpreted situations (the way they think and feel). As a result my son Greg is reading and writing, working as an adult and able to live on his own with little assistance. My other son Andrew went from no confidence and failing to distinctions, being a leader, playing first team sport and is now a very successful engineer. If you are struggling to navigate the pressures of family life and your children’s behaviour or you just desire a soulful connection with your child, but doing so feels unbelievably hard, I am here to tell you it doesn’t have to be! There’s an easier way, it just takes a deeper awareness and proven parenting tools…

18/08/2026

Don't tell your child they're wrong.
Here's what a child actually learns from being made wrong: that they're not okay. And then they find something to do to avoid that feeling — please, don't speak up, disappear a little.
As a young child, they can't separate what happened from who they are. Make them wrong, and they don't learn "that didn't work", they learn "I am wrong."

That separation has to happen in our words, every time.

This exact shift in your words is what you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

17/08/2026

Your child said sorry. That's not the win.
A client told me this week — her daughter had a meltdown, and afterwards, apologised. She felt like she'd finally cracked it.

Here’s the thing: An apology means your child learned "I was bad." That doesn't teach them what to do differently. It just stacks up a belief that they're wrong.
The after-conversation isn't about them realising they did something wrong. It's about them understanding what they can do next time.
The formula: how did you feel? what did you need? One sentence of learning. What can you do next time?

This exact formula is what you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

16/08/2026

I made my son Greg write an hour a day.
My need as a parent got in the way. I pushed him to write. An hour a day. It was a continual fight, and he wasn't learning, he was just in resistance to me pushing.

I changed my approach. We still did the hour. But I stopped needing the result and focused on encouraging him instead.

Today he can read and write. Contrary to what I was told.

This exact shift in the way you speak to your toddler is what you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

15/08/2026

If your son checks with you before he tries anything, you’ve created dependence

If a child gets into the habit of always listening to authority, that's how they'll handle every life situation later.
It shows up later as needing to be told what to do. Turning to a friend's advice instead of their own thinking, even when it's bad advice.
Later in life, that's the person who struggles to speak up in a meeting, because it's never felt safe to have an opinion.
This is the same pattern behind the tantrums too, every time they push back and you let them think it through instead of just complying, you're building the opposite of this.

The exact words to build the opposite of this are what you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

I'm live on 702 this Saturday! 🎙️Weekend Breakfast with Gugs Mhlungu, 8:05–8:30am.We're talking about something every pa...
14/08/2026

I'm live on 702 this Saturday! 🎙️

Weekend Breakfast with Gugs Mhlungu, 8:05–8:30am.

We're talking about something every parent knows in their body, even if they've never said it out loud: that moment your child falls apart in public, and it suddenly feels like everyone is watching, judging, waiting for you to fix it.

We'll get into why children actually become overwhelmed in busy or unfamiliar places, what's happening for them emotionally in that moment, not just on the surface. And what that means for you: how to tell the difference between a child who's simply misbehaving and one who's genuinely overwhelmed, what to do (and not do) in the moment itself, and why your own anxiety about being judged changes how your child experiences it too.

If you've ever wanted the ground to swallow you in a supermarket aisle or on a flight, this one's for you.

Tune in! 💚

#702 consciousparenting

12/08/2026

I couldn't stop every teacher from shouting at Greg. I'd speak to his teachers, explain, hope for more patience.

What I learned: I couldn't control his circumstances. What I could do was build his skill to handle hard situations, instead of just protecting him from all of them.

Every situation, a short conversation: how did that feel, what do you think, what could you try next time?
He started problem-solving in ways I never would have thought of.

This is the same shift that changes tantrums too. How to build their skill through your conversations with them is what you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

11/08/2026

A good easy toddler could pick the wrong friends at fourteen.

A good, easy child who just listens at three, ask: what pattern is actually forming underneath that?

If pleasing you and avoiding conflict becomes the habit, that becomes how they relate to everyone including choosing friends who aren't good for them.
At school, that shows up as not making good friend choices, because their goal was never to assess who's actually good for them but rather how can they please them.
The skill to sit in discomfort, not just comply, is what you develop through the strategy you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

10/08/2026

The mom next to me didn't shout. I did.

Comparing ourselves to other moms is so normal. Here's what it costs us: one moment of her getting it right becomes "she's always like this." Our own good moments don't get the same generous read.

Instead of "why aren't I like her" — try: what am I actually practising today?
That helps us focus on what is real because the exact reason you compare is because you care and I am sure there are times when you don’t react either.
And if you are shouting, there is a need in you that you can satisfy to stop your reactions.

A clear daily practice to focus on, instead of comparison, is what you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

Your toddler's brain is still under construction.When they melt down over the wrong cup or a broken biscuit, it's not a ...
10/08/2026

Your toddler's brain is still under construction.

When they melt down over the wrong cup or a broken biscuit, it's not a performance and it's not defiance, it's a nervous system in genuine alarm. The part of their brain that hears your words and follows instructions hasn't fully come online. In that moment, it's not there. It really is "can't," not "won't."

And self-regulation? It takes years to build. Most children are still developing real self-control between the ages of three and five, and it keeps maturing well into their teens. Until then, they learn to calm down by being calmed down, over and over. Every time you soothe them, their brain rehearses the path back to

So a toddler melting down at "no" isn't failing. And neither are you.

I'm going live with Dr Raphaela Tzikowitz, specialist paediatrician, this Tuesday 11 August at 2:30pm — to walk through exactly what's happening in your child's brain during a tantrum, and why your response is what actually changes everything.
Follow both of us and set a reminder so you don't miss it.
raphaelaitzikowitz ·

09/08/2026

They called my son Greg slow. He became it.
Our words matter, they influence who our children become.

People kept telling him to hurry up, that he was so slow. So he became slow, not just at school. Getting in the car. Getting dressed.

I had to become intentional with my words. "We can get in the car quickly" not "stop being so slow."

The exact words to use instead are what you get in the Tantrum Decoder.

Comment CALM and I'll send it to you. 💚

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The Peartree, 41 St Albans Avenue Craighall Park
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