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11/04/2020

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05/03/2020

Stop buying fake power banks

08/09/2018

my neighbor wants to consult a Witch Doctor because he lost his chicken...a chicken which was not even delicious

02/07/2017

In Maths Class Teacher asks for different types of lines
James: Straight Line
Teacher: Good, wena John?
John :Horizontal Line
Teacher:Dats great,Wena Matome
Matome :Online
Class Laughs!!!!!
Matome :Ngiyadlala Offline

12/05/2017

If two gay guys get married, do they go to the same bachelor party?

26/03/2017

A baby is never a mistake.
You had unprotected s*x, what the hell were you expecting? A plasma TV?

19/01/2017

Guys stop laughing at Matome.
TEACHER : Why You Look Down Today,
Whats Wrong my boy
Matome : My Mom Is In Hospital
TEACHER: I'm sorry, I Can See You're
Not Well.. You Can Go Home
(Matome Goes Home)
TEACHER : Why Is His Mother In
Hospital?
LEARNERS: Because She's A Nurse!
😂😂😂😅😆😆😆

20/12/2015

Ways Of Breaking Up With Your Lover This December
•
» 16 Missed Calls? You Killed My Battery So You're Capable Of Killing Me...Its Over
» You Don't Even Respect Me,I'm Talking And You Busy Breathing? Its Over
» I Called You And U Pick Up Immediately,You Lack Patient,Its Over
»I Told You I Love My Food Hot,But You Refuse To Warm Ice Cream,You Don't Care About Me...Its Over
»I Gave You Two Eggs,To Boil One And Fry The Other,You Fried The One You Were Supposed To Boil And Boiled The One You Were Supposed To Fry,You Are Not Obedient Its Over
» I Call You Darling And You Called Me Honey,Indirectly You're Calling My Mother A BEE,No Respect For In Laws,Pack Your Bags
Its Over

09/10/2015

Ladies take for your own sake...
**He's your man if you don't give it to him he will go look for it out there.
-Don't cry when he cheats on you.
**Don't stop putting that make up you used to put when you guys first met.
-Why cutting a cheskop now. Ok get dumped and don't complain.
**If all you do in bed is getting on bed and lie down with your back facing upwards...don'tget surprised if he dumps you for a pr******te.
-Niqqas love s*x freaks, go wild in the bedroom. Nyakaza...san
**Avoid hanging around with many dick friends. We niqqas don't trust other niqqas...hang with em at your own risk.
-Don't ask why if yo man f***s all your female friends...cz you were busy mingling with your guys friends.
**Dont be too over demanding...askfor airtime, maybe hair money...of he has he'll give it to you. if he says he don't have...understand.
-You demand cash every time you guys meet...don't be surprised if he do a "hit and run" to you
**Above everything there's only one way to please your man. Give that niqqa some muffin...
-Give it to him...klaar. gasp emoticon kanty umona owani o_O ???

27/09/2015

"You’re so hot” I whispered
as I took my plate of food out of the microwave.

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