Engaged Humans

18/08/2026

Do you believe in Love languages?

This often comes up in conversations with couples when I work with them.

What we don't realise is that we speak our own love language because it is so deeply ingrained in us and then expect our partner to reciprocate the same way.

This only leads to frustration, friction and sometimes even resentment.

Here's what does work:
- Acknowledge that you both have different love languages
- It's difficult for your partner to speak your love language as it doesn't come naturally to them
- While they may be able to stretch and lean into it every now and then, it's unsustainable over the long term so don't expect this of them. Instead acknowledge and appreciate the times they do step into it.
- Learn to look for the other ways they are showing love that you may be missing because you are so fixed on your expectation of how they should be showing you love (your love language not theirs).
- Learn to recgnise that love is not always red hearts, flowers and romance, sometimes it sounds like 'you look cold, here's my jacket', or 'I made your favourite meal'. x

We show love, care and intention in the small daily interactions and how we show up for each other.

15/08/2026

Recenlty I stepped onto the PechaKucha stage to share insights on the 5 generations working alongside each other in the workplace.

Each one shaped by different experiences, different economies and therefore have very different expectations.

https://zurl.co/x0V9J

Paula Quinsee steps onto the PechaKucha stage and shares insights o...

11/08/2026

If it's any one of these then know you are not alone.

These are some of the most common frustrations I hear from the couples that I work with.

And they are all easily fixable if you are willing to do the work.

Join me at my next Building Relationships Workshop on Sat 22 Aug 13:30-17:00 in Jhb.

You're not broken.
You're just stuck in a pattern.
One afternoon gives you the clarity and tools to change it , for good.

Walk away with practical frameworks, not just theory, that transform how you communicate, connect, and resolve conflict.

Link in Bio for more info and to register.

06/08/2026

We are born to be in relationship with others.

In fact our whole world revolves around relationships, and relationships are where we get our biggest emotional growth from. But no one teaches us how to be in a relationsihp.

There are 7 key relationships that play a critical role and evolve throughout our lifetime.

Do you know which ones they are?

03/08/2026

The core principles of every relationship is the same but there is one key difference between personal and professional relationships.

Can you guess what it is?

31/07/2026

Accountability is not something we do to people. It is something we do for them.

In our personal relationships, real care is not always comfortable.
Sometimes it means naming a repeated pattern, setting a boundary or reminding someone of the commitments they made.
Healthy accountability is not about criticism, control or punishment. It is about saying: I care about you, I care about us, and I believe you are capable of more.

In the workplace, accountability means being willing to have the difficult conversation, address what is not working and help one another follow through on what was promised. Strong teams do not ignore missed expectations, poor behaviour or underperformance. They speak honestly because they care about the person, the team and the results they are trying to achieve together.

Accountability, when delivered with respect, clarity and compassion, is one of the greatest gifts we can give each other.

Who in your life helps you stay aligned with the person you say you want to be?

29/07/2026

Couplepause: How Menopause and Andropause Affects Relationships

I chat to Clement Manyathela on how male menopause (Andropause) and Menopause can affect couples and their relationships.

Menopause is more widely spoken about today but there is very little awareness about male menopause - Andropause.

Listen to our discussion and insights shared on Radio 702 here: https://zurl.co/cESlh

I chat to Clement Manyathela on how male menopause (Andropause) and...

17/06/2026

Your partner should not have to guess what connection looks like for you.

For one person, connection might feel like quality time.

For another, it might feel like affection, encouragement, help around the house, or a calm conversation after a long day.

The problem is that many couples love each other deeply, but communicate their needs vaguely.

We say:
- Why are you being distant?
- You never make time for me!
- I just want more from you.

But those statements often leave our partner feeling criticised instead of invited closer.

Here's one practical communication tip you can try to turn what is seen as a complaint into a clear request.

Instead of “You never spend time with me”, try:
- I’ve been missing us lately. Can we have 30 minutes tonight with no phones, just to talk and connect?

Instead of “You don’t care", try:
- I’m feeling a bit disconnected, I really could use a hug and a few kind words from you to help me feel close to you right now.

Clarity gives your partner something they can respond to.

Blame creates distance.

A clear request creates possibility.

What is one small request you could make this week that would help you feel more connected?

14/06/2026

Connection grows when both people feel safe to be honest.

Not perfect.
Not always calm.
Not always saying the right thing.

Just safe enough to say:
- This hurt me.
- I miss you/us.
- I need reassurance.
- I don’t want us to keep avoiding this.

Many couples disconnect not because they don't care, but because difficult conversations start to feel unsafe. One person gets defensive. The other shuts down.

Then both people protect themselves instead of reaching for each other.

Here's one practical communication tip you can try that begins with a soft start.

Before you raise something difficult, begin with reassurance and ownership, say:
- I’m not bringing this up to attack you. I want us to understand each other better.
- I know I may not have communicated this clearly before, but I’d like to try again.
- I love us, and I don’t want this to become distance between us.

A soft start does not mean avoiding the truth, it means creating enough safety for both perspectives to be heard.

The goal is not to win the conversation, it's to protect the connection while you work through the issue together.

Share this with your partner as a gentle reminder that you can both be honest and still be kind with each other.

11/06/2026

Connection doesn’t disappear all at once.

It usually fades in the small moments.....

The distracted answers:
The “I’m fine” when you’re not.
The sitting next to each other, but not really being with present each other.

In relationships, connection is not only built through big romantic gestures. It is built through small, consistent moments of presence.

Here's one practical communication tip to start implementing straight away:

Asking better questions, instead of "How was your day?”, try this:
- What felt heavy for you today?
- What made you smile today?
- What do you need from me tonight, listening, comfort, or space?

Better questions create better connection because they invite your partner to share more than superficial level stuff or logistics.

Tonight, try asking one question that helps you step into and understand your partner’s inner world better.

Small moments of curiosity can become powerful moments of closeness.

Save this for your next check-in with your partner.