14/09/2022
REST IN PEACE ~ Akani Ndove
To a part of me that died but never buried
The trauma of life had me confined in my own space
I was even afraid to look at the mirror and see my own face
Death, death was the only thing that seemed a bit resolutive
I wasn't suicidal but getting rid of the pain was the main motive
I, I thought about it many times and the rope was the best way to go
My death was not known by anyone but me
Unless they would be hands on preparing for my burial
Even those whom didn't see the need to assist me shape my life
They will be hands on to ensure that I'm buried with dignity
Offering the money which the living me lacked even when I begged for it from
their palms
The difference is now I'm dead
But I am still among the living souls
Smiling at every face I see Laughing at every joke, funny or not
See, they say laughter is the best medicine but I don't think it can heal me
anyway
All it can do to mask off the pain so that no one will break me apart with pity
Because what another person can mostly offer is not love but pity
The sorry shame faces are like poison to my heart
I would prefer a bullet on this stupid head that flashes on things that hurts me
But I'm not licensed to hold a pistol, nor do I have access to it anyway
Poison will burn the intestines and eat up the shelter of my spirit and I will
have none of that
Maybe overdose of medication would do the work but the enmity of you oh
soul with a hospital is too hostile
So, to the soul that died some time ago May you find rest, rest in a place of
peace and tranquility
May you find rest in the Lord who is the bearer of our burdens
To a part of me that died because of loss
Died due to a heart break, failure and every other death I know trauma hasn't
been friendly
Pain has been the worst
Tears is the only language you use to communicate with your pillow
Though your death is not known, the day will come for it's revelation and it
might be too late
So, to a part of me that died some time ago
Rest in peace