Rabia Carvalho

There's a story my grandmother told me as a child, about an angry king who had everything including he wanted, including the bad temper he didn't care about having. One day, he asked his chefs to prepare the most luxurious meal, and he would gift the winner with their greatest wish while beheading the looser. His daughter begged to participate and he said no. Upon her insistence, he finally agreed, and worried that his own daughter may fall under the sword of his men.
The dishes arrived, one more sumptuous than the other, next to each one a card with the chef's wish. At last, he tasted his daughter's dish, noting the absence of an accompanying note. The dish looked beautiful but it was bland and almost tasteless. He called her in.
"I tried to dissuade you from participating, yet you insisted! You leave no note, and you present this beautiful but completely bland dish, what am I to do?!"
His daughter presented a little box and placed it in front of him. "What's that?" he asked. She opened it and sprinkled it on the food. He tasted it and it had transformed! Eyes wide, he tasted every morsel, the flavours dancing on his tongue. "What is your secret ingredient?!" he asked her. When she simply smiled he asked again, slamming a fist down. "You won't tell me?! How dare you! At least tell me what you want as a wish, girl!" he roared.
Gently, she spoke. "The secret ingredient is something simple, as is my wish. The ingredient, is salt. The wish, is time with my father, not my king." Not only did he grant her his wish, but he let her marry the man she secretly loved.

Both learned something that day.

As I listened to my grandmother telling the story, I also learned something. And all my life since, whenever I add too little salt to food, I make a joke of saying "Well, I won't be married this year!" (Even though I have been, but that's a story for another day...)

- Rabia

When people I work with during team audits realise that their experience of being bullied by a toxic manager is both real and common, something shifts.
They finally understand that their shared pain is the reason for low productivity.
There is a deep acknowledgement that they are no longer alone. There is a realisation that the unity produced by pain can become more powerful than the toxic leadership that created it.
When a team connects this way and works together to draw real boundaries, senior management receives a gift: the opportunity to step up as true leadership.
Suddenly, everything changes.
People begin working together because they are no longer isolated.
This is how real sorrow is exorcised from teams. People's dignity is restored. Organisations finally break the cycle they've been trapped in.
There is an odd comfort in discovering you were never the only victim.
The art lies in leading a team from that realisation towards a strategy that builds, using the very thing that for too long has been the source of their breaking.
— Rabia Carvalho

If there were more hours in the day I'd fill them all with more of whatever might change the world in tiny ways, the little big things in my capacity to do. Alas one must sleep too. If only that were not necessary. life is so short it seems quite the tragedy to spend years asleep....Rabia.

The curse with no cause will not stand. Before you start worrying that someone has done something woowoo, consider if you aren't, in fact, the drama llama. 😶‍🌫️
Read the full article here;
https://open.substack.com/pub/rabiacarvalho/p/your-shadow-your-healing?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5x2hqx

Resource for parents of teenagers and young adults. May this comfort and help you.

Read the article here;

https://open.substack.com/pub/rabiacarvalho/p/i-cant-even?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5x2hqx