Durbie Kids Tutor Center

School anxiety can be easy to miss — especially when a child is still getting through the school gates each day.

They may complain of tummy aches or headaches, struggle with sleep, become increasingly distressed on Sunday evenings, need constant reassurance or unravel once they get home. Sometimes they can tell us exactly what is worrying them. Sometimes they simply know that school feels too much.

This post focuses specifically on school anxiety in children who are still attending school.

You will see EBSA — Emotionally Based School Avoidance and EBSNA — Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance mentioned because school anxiety can sometimes develop to the point where attendance becomes affected. But they are not the focus of this post and should not be used interchangeably with school anxiety.

The important message is that we do not need to wait until a child can no longer attend before we become curious about what is making school difficult.

Early understanding gives us an opportunity to identify the individual triggers, reduce unnecessary pressure and help home and school put support in place before anxiety becomes more deeply established.

I have also created a BiteSize Guide to School Anxiety with more information and practical support. Please see the visual for instructions on how to request a copy.

This week, my focus on this page will be school anxiety - follow for more content.

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Children don’t feel safest when parents say yes to everything.
They feel safest when they know someone steady is in charge.

That’s why boundaries matter so much.

A child may push back against a limit in the moment, but deep down, limits send a powerful message:
“You are loved enough for me to guide you.”

Boundaries are not punishment.
They are protection.

They help children learn:
• what’s expected
• how to handle disappointment
• how to respect others
• and how to trust that big feelings won’t change your love

The goal isn’t to become a parent who controls every move.
It’s to become a parent who can stay balanced while holding the line with warmth and confidence.

You can be kind and still say no.
You can validate feelings and still keep the boundary.
You can stay connected without giving in.

“I know you’re upset.”
“And the answer is still no.”

That combination of empathy + consistency is what helps children grow into emotionally secure, confident people.

Because strong boundaries don’t create distance.
They create safety.

With the exams coming up, DrLiz will be giving students the opportunity to work from her home between 2 and 5 pm, Monday to Thursday.

Our focus will be on developing the skills of HOW to:
• read,
• analyse and,
• answer paper questions.

All grades, subjects and curriculums welcome. Sessions in Afrikaans and English. Space limited.

For more info contact Dr Liezel Retief at [email protected] or 0838252654.

Proud to announce that I am now an affiliate of CambriLearn. Please feel free to contact me for more information or feel free to use my code to get a discount on your fees.