Clear Mind Coaching with Elna

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I share this because Matthew was a human who struggled with human things, just like you and me… I share this as a reminder to myself that no human gets to skip the human experience, it doesn’t matter how well known or funny you are…

About a year ago when we started rewatching random Friends episodes, I noticed the dramatic difference in Chandler from season to season... I then read about his struggle with addiction... I cried for him and all humans enslaved by something that once helped them cope with their pain... Matthew did something about this, he started a sober house for men even though he still struggled to stay sober himself...

Matthew you left behind more than super fkn funny Friends' scenes...

Finally Free 🪽



**Photo credit to whomever it’s due**

I have reached 400 followers! Thank you for your continued support. I could not have done it without each of you. 🙏🤗🎉

Psychological research shows that negative behaviour in children (and adults) can be a cry for help, especially when they feel stuck. We engage in negative behaviour when we are overwhelmed and unable to cope with a situation. We may feel unheard, misunderstood or like we are not meeting expectations.
Negative behaviour can be a way for children and adults to communicate their emotions and needs when they do not have the language or skills to do so positively.
Negative behaviour in children can include acting out, defiance, or aggression, which can be challenging for parents and caregivers.
Parents and caregivers should understand that negative behaviour is not a reflection of the child's character. It signals that the child is struggling and needs help to manage their emotions and behaviours. Positive discipline strategies like setting clear boundaries and consequences, positive reinforcement and problem-solving can be used. Listening to and validating children's feelings, and providing a nurturing environment where they feel safe and valued can also help.
Negative behaviour can become habitual and continue into adulthood, especially for neurodivergent individuals who have trouble managing their emotions and behaviours. As they grow, they may continue using negative behaviours as a way to cope. They may become avoidant in social situations, defensive, or aggressive when feeling threatened or overwhelmed. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviours such as substance abuse or self-harm as a way to cope with stress.
Providing children and neurodivergent individuals with the necessary tools, resources, coaching, therapy, medication, support groups, and accommodations to navigate the world around them is important to break the cycle of negative behaviour.

By understanding the root causes of negative behaviour and providing appropriate support and interventions, it is possible to help children and neurodivergent individuals lead happy, fulfilling lives and achieve their full potential. With the right resources and a supportive community, anyone can learn to manage their emotions and behaviours positively and thrive in the world around them.

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Caption to come… ask some questions in the meantime darling!
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I challenge you to "DELETE" the words 'GOOD' and 'BAD' from your vocabulary. I'll tell you why!
We have already lost or given up when we use the words GOOD or BAD to describe someone, something or ourselves. Good or bad are judgements or labels and does not solve problems.

Think about it this way. There are ripe and, or rotten fruit in your refrigerator. What would happen if you opened the fridge door, labelled the usable fruit "good" and rotten fruit "bad" and then closed the refrigerator door without doing something about it?

What we have now is rotten fruit next to ripe fruit with labels on them. The consequences might look like this: soon the ripe fruit will also turn and the rotten fruit will turn to goo or liquid and make a big mess.

Labelling, namecalling or judging serves little purpose if any at all.

What would work is thinking, considering and aiming to understand what we could do to prevent the fruit from rotting in the 1st place (maybe make a fruit salad sooner), learning how to help fruit last longer or at least make compost from the unusable fruit so something else can grow from it. We can even say that we could help the fruit at overcoming its challenges by understanding what it needs, to do so.

The same applies to you, your children and other humans. When we label rather than work towards understanding, we give up, "you are this", "I am that" and "they are that". It closes the proverbial refrigerator door to that person or yourself. It ignores the possibility of solving the problem or challenges.

I challenge you to DELETE the words GOOD and BAD from your vocabulary. It might take some time and that's okay, do it anyway!

Examples of reframing 'good' and 'bad":

FROM: I have a bad cold.
TO: This cold is hitting me hard.

FROM: She is bad.
TO: She must be having a really difficult time for her to display such unhelpful behaviour.

FROM: I have messed up badly.
TO: It will take some careful steps for me to recover from this.

FROM: I am a bad person.
TO: I wonder what lead to me behaving like that.

More on behaviour and solving problems next time!
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Do you need support?
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This is why I do what I do!
I feel so privileged that people allow me to walk with them on their journey to relief, self-discovery, -understanding and -expanding…

What are you waiting for darling?
Isn’t it time for you to get some relief? Are you not tired of being angry or reactive?
DM me💜💜💜💜

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