Family Matters Counselling

There are those of us who would do anything for the ones we love.
But when someone no longer values your worth,
or perhaps never truly did.

Wouldn’t you say it’s time to let them go?

It’s a painful place to find yourself.
But the pain of trying to hold onto what isn’t meant for you,
will only continue to cut you deeper.




Artwork by Sandra de la Cruz - Drasan

A young couple moved into a new house.

The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the washing outside.

"That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better soap powder.

Her husband looked on, remaining silent.

Every time her neighbor hung her washing out to dry, the young woman made the same comments.

A month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

The husband replied, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life…

What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

So don’t be too quick to judge others, especially if your perspective of life is clouded by anger, jealousy, negativity or unfulfilled desires.

Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.

my brain and
heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become

eventually,
they couldn't be
in the same room
with each other

now my head and heart
share custody of me

I stay with my brain
during the week

and my heart
gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

- instead, they give me
the same note to pass
to each other every week

and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"

on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the past

and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future

they blame each
other for the
state of my life

there's been a lot
of yelling - and crying

so,

lately, I've been
spending a lot of
time with my gut

who serves as my
unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut's plush leather chair
that's always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up

last evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head

I nodded

I said I didn't know
if I could live with
either of them anymore

"my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,"
I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

"I just can't live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,"
I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

"in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,"

I was confused
- the look on my face gave it away

"if you are exhausted about
your heart's obsession with
the fixed past and your mind's focus
on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out."

this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves

and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs

I packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs

before I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said

"what took you so long?"

~ john roedel

Depression. In life most people have stages of depression. for some it’s fleating, for others it sets in like a long Winter.
It is manageable, it is normal and one can smile again. Seek help if you feel you have any of these symptoms!

Counselling offers a safe place to develop the skills and strength needed for some difficult life choices. In the process gaining understanding and confidence, helps to see things differently and with more clarity.

Struggling to understand when you need counselling? Or perhaps the benefits of Counselling? Family Matters Counselling has created this helpful infographic. Please do reach out with any questions or to book a session.

Loneliness is a theme that I see a lot in clients. It is often the gateway for all the other feelings and emotions we have tried to ignore. And at other times it can be an excruciating pain for some.

There is a difference between loneliness and being alone and content.

What does loneliness mean to you?

Wishing you and yours a safe, supported and special Holiday Season.
From Family Matters Counselling

Spotting the red flags in the early stages of a relationship can be hard. The butterflies, excitement and promise of love tend to blind side people. Learning to understand and acknowledge the unhealthy feelings and triggers early on allows us to make better partnership choices.

At Family Matters Counselling, seeing couples grow towards each other and not apart is very rewarding. So often the egos in a marriage or relationship take over and the needs for the parties are no longer met. The obvious trajectory is a couple growing apart. By healing the relationship we are able to give the relationship a stronger base to move forward together on!

To book a session WhatsApp Melody on +27 72 791 9454