IELTS Nick

How much of your success is due to luck, or is it due to other things like hard work and patience? Check out this IELTS Task 2 student essay, corrected by a former examiner.
https://www.ieltsnick.co/post/task-2-essay-luck

Question:

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Band 8+ Sample Answer:

(Intro) Many people believe that luck plays a key role in helping people reach their targets. Although it is true that luck is a contributor to a person’s success, I would argue that hard work and patience are far more crucial factors in terms of deciding whether or not people accomplish their goals.

(Body 1) On the one hand, I acknowledge that luck does have an important role to play in helping people become successful. To begin with, since some people are fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family, they have the opportunity to gain access to better education, which helps them land a promising career. Therefore, people coming from moneyed backgrounds tend to have higher chances of success than those who do not. Furthermore, a successful business venture is often considered a matter of luck. For example, a person starting a business right before an unexpected economic downturn or working with an unscrupulous dealer is more likely to face failure, whereas those who are lucky to meet the right people at the right time tend to succeed in their investment.

(Body 2) Nevertheless, on the path to success, I strongly believe that hard work and patience matter most. Firstly, in order to achieve something great, people need to work really hard and devote a great deal of energy and effort to their goals. For instance, prior to becoming one of the greatest basketball players in the world, Michael Jordan had to spend summers taking hundreds of jump shots a day. Secondly, there is no such thing as overnight success and all goals require a certain amount of time to be reached. Thomas Edison, for example, failed 1000 times before successfully creating the first light bulb that changed the world. If he had placed his trust in luck rather than patience, he might not have become such an eminent inventor in the history of mankind.

(Conclusion) In conclusion, it is undeniable that the role that luck plays in success cannot be downplayed. However, I am still of the opinion that hard work and patience are much more important when it comes to attaining a person’s goals. Therefore anyone starting a business should be aware that despite all their hard work and best laid plans, success is not guaranteed, as fate may have other ideas.

Task 2 Essay: Luck (NEW) Question: Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Band 8+ Sample Answer: (Intro) Many people believe that luck plays a key role in helping people reach their targets. Although it is true that luck is a contributor to a pers...

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IELTS TASK 2 (19/12/20) - YOUNG PEOPLE AND CLASSICAL MUSIC. This week I received essays from two different students, writing in response to slightly different questions!🤔 Here are the final corrected versions for both. 🔥Which essay do you prefer? Which question do you think appeared in the real exam last weekend? Happy studying and Merry Christmas!🎅🎄🎅🎄

🎹 CORRECTED STUDENT ESSAY 1 (BAND 9):

Question 1: "In some countries, only a few young people go to classical music concerts, or to plays and performances at the theatre . Why is this the case? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?"

It is undeniable that fewer young adults attend classical music concerts, plays or other performances at the theatre. In my opinion, the low attendance at these performing arts events can be attributed to a lack of innovation. However, young people should definitely be encouraged to be engaged in these performances as they are healthy forms of entertainment.

The fact that many kinds of performing arts are less popular among young people probably stems from a lack of innovative changes. Orchestras or actors tend to perform the same outdated symphonies or plays written by certain well-known but traditional composers or playwrights, such as Mozart or Shakespeare. Without any changes made to these performances, they are not engaging for a contemporary young audience.. That is why young adults tend to entertain themselves by watching gripping thrillers on Netflix or listening to contemporary music on Spotify.

Nonetheless, young people should be encouraged to attend these beneficial recreational activities. Nowadays, they tend to be glued to computer or mobile phone screens, leading to a sedentary lifestyle, which can have serious detrimental effects on their physical and mental health. Theatres and concert halls, therefore, would be better places for spending their leisure time. What’s more, they can also enjoy the social aspects of these activities by attending artistic events with their friends.

In conclusion, a shortage of novel content in many kinds of performing arts has probably led to low attendance. Engaging young people in these performances is a sensible thing to do considering the health and social benefits. Perhaps, the most effective way to do this is encouraging artists to create new and interesting works of art, that can be performed live, but also recorded for subsequent digital consumption to attract more public attention.

🎹 CORRECTED STUDENT ESSAY 2 (BAND 9):

Question 2: "In some countries, only a few young people go to classical music concerts or play classical music. Why is it happening? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?"

It is true that youngsters have little preference for classical music in some parts of the world. This could be explained by the elitist nature of the genre itself; however, I contend that young adults should be motivated to go to live concerts or play a classical instrument as these would help them to be more creative and attentive.

To begin with, young listeners are generally unfamiliar with classical music mainly because it seems to be too challenging for them to comprehend complex masterpieces or to be a part of a classical orchestra. Indeed, this genre is naturally sophisticated, which usually demands its audiences to have a keen musical perception and life experience, which are less common among teenagers. Meanwhile, it takes years of intensive training for one to master the six strings of a classical guitar and perform just the intro of “Nocturne” by Chopin, whereas a complete beginner only needs a few months of relaxed practice to excel at covering mainstream songs from Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift. These factors are the reason why most young people are in favour of simpler types of music such as Pop or R&B.

Nevertheless, classical music should be made popular among youngsters as it has been scientifically proven to boost creativity and concentration. Brain scanning has revealed that classical performances ignite various parts of the brain, of which many are linked with enhanced imagination and creative thinking. In an experiment carried out in an Australian university, students who can play symphonies composed by Beethoven or Mozart tend to have a longer attention span of about 30 minutes compared to only 7 minutes of other students. It seems obvious to me that these benefits are of paramount importance and would help classical music lovers to gain an advantage in their study and work.

In conclusion, although classical music might be hard to perceive or play, its merits including boosted creativity and improved focus have convinced me that youngsters definitely should attend more classical concerts and classes. To encourage them, schools and other educational institutions could invite famous musicians to perform on special occasions and share their passion for this worthy musical genre.

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