03/15/2026
We're back with more toddler tips! Toddler tip #7: validate your child's big feels without making those big feelings disappear.
Hereâs a little scenario. Youâve been on vacation and sharing a room out of necessity. Youâre finally back home, you tuck your toddler into her own crib in her own room where she has slept her whole life (except for this vacation), and she screams âno! stay here!â and will not settle. So you do. You sit in her room until she calms and falls asleep, then you sneak out. Four hours later she is up screaming again for you. You go back in and stay in the room until she settles. Fast forward four weeks and you have now set up a blow up mattress in your toddlerâs room because she âcanâtâ fall asleep or stay asleep without you there.
Sound familiar? I have heard so many different versions of this exact situation. And parents donât know how to get out of it. But itâs quite simple - you donât have to make your childâs big feelings go away. In fact, you shouldnât. Big feelings (anger, sadness, nervousness, frustration) are a part of life and it is a disservice to your child to make sure they never feel them. I would argue that our job as parents is to support our children as they experience these big feelings.
There is a huge difference between supporting your child through their big feelings around sleep (âI know you want me to stay in your room, it was different on vacation wasnât it? Iâll come check on you so you know Iâm aroundâ) and rescuing them from their feelings (âOk, Iâll sit here until you fall asleepâ).
If you're stuck in your child's room at bedtime and throughout the night and don't know how to get back to your own bed, please reach out!
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