Bonnie Koss, LSW

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Bonnie Koss, LSW counsels and encourages clients on
matters having to do with personal
challenges.

"Control the things you can" As a parent of adult children I am reminded of this often. This maybe the hardest chapter y...
10/09/2026

"Control the things you can" As a parent of adult children I am reminded of this often. This maybe the hardest chapter yet; or maybe the other chapters are over so this one is the one I am in and my memory softened the others. Either way I realize I get off the phone with one of my kids or I read a frantic text and my work is to NOT react. Instead I have learned this is where cleaning, reorganizing, journaling, cooking, and exercising come into play for me. Sometimes, I even need to talk to someone outside my circle because I need to sort out my overwhelming feels, because feelings are not facts. I am uber aware that I do not want my past experiences and hurts projected onto these relationships. I am also aware that my reaction affects my partner and the siblings’ relationship with each other, and I am responsible for not influencing their opinions. If you are in this stage of life or want to work on healing your own childhood wounds so that they do not get played out in your relationships know that I am doing the work too and happy to share some tips, tricks, and tools. At this point I have been a parent from infant to 27 years old and I have had a lot of "aha" moments. I am navigating being an in-law now too... I have raised girls and boys and in today's world that has taught me many lessons too. Lots to learn and share as we all search to create healthy, well adjusted, meaningful relationships that nourish us in this fast paced noisy world.

09/23/2026

How do you move from your co-dependent managing of your relationships to being in them? Each person in a relationship holds 50% of the responsibility. When we try harder in the relationship to keep everyone "happy" we end up resenting the relationship and are exhausted by it. To shift this dynamic you can only control your own actions and triggers. Many of us learned early that love had to be earned by managing everyone. If that was your experience you will know it because this list will feel awful before it feels more aligned and honest.

1. she notices someone’s mood and does nothing about it. noticing is not a request.
2. she lets a room be a little tense. she is not the thermostat.
3. she answers the question that was asked. not the four she assumed were coming.
4. when someone is upset with her, she waits to find out if it’s actually hers.
5. she says “that sounds hard” and then stops talking.
no plan, no rescue, no offer.
6. she does not audit her tone after she leaves a conversation.
7. she asks for what she wants in plain words the first time. no hints, no test, no waiting to be guessed.
8. someone else’s urgency does not become her schedule.
9. she lets people be disappointed in her without renegotiating who she is.
10. she stopped apologizing for taking up the amount of space she actually takes up.

09/10/2026

Fall energy is a tricky thing... On one hand it brings the sense of new beginnings and new chapters and on the other it closes doors and feels like grief. As a stay at home mom I lived by the rhythm of the school calendar and that brought its own energy and chaos. Then as I became an empty nester each drop off was a crisis in what is my purpose now without them. Then life, holidays, personal routine, and fielding phone calls and mini therapy sessions with my kids helped realign my sense of self. And yet the changing light from the tilting of the sun made me feel a bit slower, a bit more sentimental, and bit more sad. It also brought up lots of old tapes in my head about my own worth and where I could have been better or taken a different path. While my body was trying to slow down for the winter hibernation my mind was taking flight into old noisy spaces.
If you are feeling it this fall - let's talk and empy out that noisy mind and realign your truths so that you can actually allow yourself to slow down, be more present at the gatherings, and enjoy the months of hibernation before the spring burst.

08/27/2026

This is very powerful

06/15/2026

“I lived so carefully, thinking someone was watching. But the stage was empty, the audience never came.” – Osamu Dazai

Address

900 West Valley Road , Suite 703
Wayne, PA
19087

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 7pm
Tuesday 8am - 7pm
Wednesday 8am - 7pm
Thursday 8am - 7pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

(267) 241-9690

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