10/14/2026
The first time life brought me to my knees, I ran.
The second time, I stayed.
I’ve experienced two profound transformations in my life, and the difference between them has changed everything I thought I understood about transformation.
The first came through a health crisis.
I immersed myself in learning, figuring things out, personal growth, spirituality and helping others. So much of it was beautiful.
But looking back, I can see something I couldn’t see then.
I was using learning to numb myself from the grief I wasn’t ready to feel.
I stepped into a new beginning before allowing myself to experience the ending.
Then came this past year.
One by one, the roles and identities I’d spent much of my life building began to fall away.
I experienced abandonment, helplessness, fear, and grief at a depth I’d never allowed myself to feel before.
And this time, I stayed.
Not perfectly. Not gracefully. But I kept coming back to myself.
And something extraordinary began to happen.
Parts of me I’d forgotten began to emerge.
Not because I learned something new, but because I stopped disconnecting from myself in the experience of being human.
And here’s what fascinates me most...
I’m still sitting in the unknown.
I don’t know what’s next. But my nervous system has shifted. My perspective on life has changed.
For perhaps the first time, I don’t need to know what’s next to feel safe today.
I have a deep knowing that I am supported, that abundance is available, and that I can meet whatever comes next.
Fear still visits. Grief still visits. But they no longer have to take me away from myself.
Maybe transformation isn’t something we can force through another retreat, ceremony, or program.
Maybe life itself gives us the experiences that invite us to remember who we’ve always been.
And maybe the most profound transformation happens when we find the courage to remain.
Have you ever rushed into a new beginning because sitting with the ending felt unbearable? 🤍
