Better Regulate Than Never

10/18/2026

Your child is laughing. You got the job. You're holding the baby. Your college kid sounds happy. Or it's just an ordinary afternoon where everything is okay.

Stay there. You can even say it out loud: this is good right now.

10/17/2026

Maybe you are behind. Maybe you made a mistake. That happens. The loudest thing in your head still isn't the truth.

Okay, that happened. What's the next thing I'm going to do?

Listen to the full episode, Intentional Thinking, on The Teen Anxiety Maze. Link in bio.

10/16/2026

I'm a big planner, and planning is useful. But you can only plan for an actual problem with actual steps.

Bracing is different. It's a vague bad cloud that may or may not show up. There is nothing to plan for.

Worrying first doesn't give you extra protection. It just makes right now feel terrible.

10/15/2026

I picture my inner critic as the grandma from Downton Abbey. She's critical of everyone, but it comes from love and a very old-fashioned idea that shame will make you do better.

So I can say, "Thank you for telling me that. But I don't need that today."

10/14/2026

"Everything is falling apart" gives you nothing to do except shut down. "I missed a day, I need to email my professor" gives you a next step.

That's the difference between a spiral and a helpful thought. For college students, and honestly for all of us.

10/14/2026

In Spider-Man: No Way Home, MJ says, "If you expect disappointment, then you can never really get disappointed."

A lot of us live by some version of that. Don't get too excited. Don't hope too much.

But feeling the disappointment early doesn't take away any of the pain later. And you don't even know if the disappointing thing is going to happen.

10/12/2026