12/13/2017
5 Tips on helping kids with grief during Christmas
1. Be aware that your behavior influences a grieving child. The child’s ability to cope with a problem depends on the ability of important adults to express their grief and convey to the child that it’s okay to express a full range of feelings. Adults must let children know that tears do not signal rejection but, rather, sadness. If a parent says “I feel sad because I miss ****,” the child will understand that emotions are an acceptable demonstration of grief.
2. Provide children with special amounts of attention and emotional support. Take an active role in helping children cope with grief. Children don’t always show sadness as openly as adults.
3. Pay attention to the child’s cues. Recognize that children need to talk and express their emotions, rather than just be talked to by an adult.
4. Create a special time during the holidays to talk about the deceased family member. Younger children might find it helpful to look at family photographs when they discuss their memories.
5. Don’t avoid all family traditions during the holidays. Children might find comfort in such customs as decorating the tree or baking holiday cookies. “Traditions provide a structure for the expression of a child’s thoughts and feelings.”
While helping children cope with the pain of their grief during the holidays is difficult, slow, and wearing, the process can also be enriching and fulfilling for loving adults.
Reprinted from The Compassionate Friends of Los Angeles, Vol. 25, No. 12 – December, 2009
