10/05/2026
When I was 18, my first boyfriend hit me repeatedly in the face until I blacked out.
When I came to, he was on the phone calling the police on himself. I was rushed to the hospitalā¦luckily he hadnāt broken my jaw.
There were many glaring red flags before he actually hit me in the face.
He would grab my arms, push me down, choke me, and threaten to hurt himself if I tried to break up with him. I lived in constant anxiety and fear.
A few weeks after he got out of jail, l continued to see him in secret for almost a year after that incident. I had no self worth and foolishly thought that maybe he would change and that never happened. I eventually broke it off with him because I was so ashamed of my secret.
20 years later, when I had to leave California for good during Covid, he and I started talking on Facebook and he invited me, my sister and my airstream to stay with him in Idaho. My intuition was screaming at me, but I ignored it. I thought, maybe he finally grew up. I went and it nearly cost me my life. I ended up in the hospital again, this time with broken ribs after being thrown around like a ragdoll into furniture and he c**ked a g*n at me. He also went after my sister but luckily she locked herself in a room. He evaded police and after going through the court system, he ended up with a small fine and zero jail time.
Recently his now wife reached out and the same thing happened to her. Violence and a slap on the wrist in the court system. Iām appalled at the justice system in this country. This is national domestic violence awareness month, and the timing of all of this is not a coincidence! This is bringing up so much old unhealed trauma. If I can do anything to help anyone in this situation, I will. If you or anyone you know is in a violent situation with a partner, do not be afraid to speak up and ask for help!! The National Domestic Violence hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
For years I havenāt spoken about this out of fear and shame. People really misunderstand this unless theyāve been through it. There is so much victim shaming that happens and no accountability for abusers, especially in certain states.