Smalley Institute

November Couples Challenge Day 21 & 22
Who or what is number 1? It is good to review this question, when things don't seem to be going smoothly. I can be easy to get a little off and forget that work and children come after God and your spouse.
"Sexual intimacy is often a barometer for the how your relationship is weathering the storms of marriage." Dr. Michael Smalley
Today we are challenging you to do two things, evaluate your relationship, in terms of intimacy.
Part 1
~Step 1. On a scale of 1 to 10, How does intimacy rank in your marriage? If you are on the lower end of the scale, move to 2.
~Step 2. Take the marriage assessment
https://s.surveyanyplace.com/quick-checkup
Part 2
~Make a list of priorities, discuss with your spouse. Make adjustments so that the outcome is to serve one another after God.

Remember that marriage is two working together towards a purposeful and intentional relationship with God and one another.

Ephesians Chapter 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

#Godlymarriage, #serveoneanother, #submittooneanotheroutofreverenceforchrist #husbandsloveyourwifeaschristlovesthechurch, #wivesrespectyourhusband, #novembercoupleschallenge, #smalleyinstitute

Is God Calling You To Marriage Ministry?
Elevate your knowledge and skills. Affordably earn your Certificate, Masters and Ph.D.! Online - On-Demand - At Your Pace

The Gary T. Smalley School of Marriage and Family exists to equip the church with leaders who can transform relationships with Christ and make disciples in Jesus Christ through marriage and family ministry.

https://www.smalley.school
Call ~~> 1-800-392-2694

#phd, #mastersdegree, #certificate, #grow, #learn, #connect, #marriageministry, #familyministry, #garytsmalleyschool, #garysmalley, #michaelsmalley, #krisdejeet, #pastorsmalley, #pastordejeet, #RelationshipMinistry

So true!

"The single greatest predictor of success in your marriage is your willingness to take ownership and look in the mirror." Dr. Michael Smalley

What is the greatest predictor of success?

What is the greatest predictor of success?
A fellow learner wants to know, "What is the single best predictor of whether a couple who goes through your program will make it."
https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/what-is-the-greatest-predictor-of-success

smalleyinstitute.com A fellow learner wants to know, "What is the single best predictor of whether a couple who goes through your program will make it."

The depth and breath of knowing who you are in Christ unfolds more and more as you grow closer to Christ.

#IdentityinChrist, #childoftheking, #growingclosertochrist, #smalleyinstitute

November Couples Challenge Day 20
Hand Crafted, Made in His image!
Have you ever sat back and contemplated the unique differences between you and your spouse? Today the challenge is to write down three differences you appreciate and share it with your spouse.

"Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:26-27

"So faith comes through hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." Romans 10:17

The Bondage Breaker by Neal T. Anderson is one of the books we have our students read as a part of any course at The Gary T. Smalley School of Marriage and Family Ministry. This is an incredible book, written for all to understand spiritual warfare and how YOU as a follower of Jesus Christ have authority in Him, He already won the battle and has all authority over Satan! This is a must read!!

Smalley VIP Membership gives you the relationship you want most!

Are you ready to take your relationship to the next level? What does next level really mean?
Next Level:
-You are committed to actively and intentionally working on how you show up in your marriage.
-You are wanting weekly live support from an expert in marriage and family ministry
-You are a learner and go after the change work, education and skills needed to grow
-You love access to a library of relationship webinars
-You are looking for a community of like minded marriage warriors
-You may even love assessments to show areas of growth
If you fit these criteria, you are ready for our VIP Inner Circle Membership! We look forward to walking with you, guiding and supporting you on your journey!

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/vip

smalleyinstitute.com 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a growing library of courses, downloadable couples exercises, and a path towards healing your relationship.

"Judgment boomerangs back to you." Amy Smalley

Smalley Institute

Throw Back Thursday! This Facebook live is stellar, so good! "Labeling is judging. Judgment boomerangs back to you." Amy Johnston-Smalley

On today’s show, “The road to hell is paved with overly simplistic labels.” Wrote author Grant Hilary Brenner. There are three different labels we either stick on ourselves or the people we love that need to be eliminated and thrown away immediately! We’re gonna reveal the labels and how you how to get rid of them today.

https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/blog/the-nightmare-of-labelling

November Couples Challenge Day 19
Love is a choice, an action!
Today we challenge you to read through the most used Bible chapter in weddings. Everytime you read the word love, remember that love is a choice, lust is a feeling. We do not fall out of love, we fall out of the initial lust of a relationship. Relationship is based on two coming together in God, truly seeing each other as flawed, sinners and we choose to love no matter what! We are called to grow in Christ like manner and if you replace the word love with Christ, you'll get a clear message of how we are designed to Love!

1 CORINTHIANS 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

November Couples Challenge Day 18
One of the most courageous and emotionally connecting acts we can do in our marriage is to ask for forgiveness when we mess up. Today ask your spouse to forgive you for escalating, shutting down, avoiding, making negative assumptions or judgments. When we are able to admit we were wrong, honor our spouse and always actively and intentionally try do better, we have an opportunity to grow closer to each other.

#forgive, #closeness, #intentionallove, #godlymarriage, #honor, #courageous, #jesusaleadywon

Smalley Institute - proven strategies for the marriage you want

Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Text for help ~> 800-975-8748

Sometimes we need to fall apart so that God can heal us according to His design. Have you ever felt so down and out, hopeless that you cry out for God to help you? Broken is the best place to be, surrendered to His help, His healing and His will. He will heal you. God will never leave you! There is HOPE and you truly are not alone. Sometimes we need people to walk with us, talk with us and help us see that there is hope. If you are in that broken place, please know we are here for you! We will walk with you!

#godlymarriage, #Jesus, #bethelight, #walkingwithGod, #thereishope, #HopeInChrist, #smalleyinstitute, #smalleyinstituteintensives

smalleyinstitute.com Proven strategies for the marriage you want. Let us help you overcome any struggle your relationship faces.

FAQ: How do I when I am not truly trusting God to heal me and my spouse?

Text for help ~~> 800-975-8748

November Couples Challenge Day 17
Today the challenge is personal time, silent time without distraction, with Jesus. Spend 15 minutes in silence. Go where he leads you, pray, write, draw, and be with Jesus. Share with your spouse where God led you.

Sample prayer
Heavenly Father thank you so much for your amazing love! I cannot begin to fathom just how much you love me. Lord, I confess there are times when I get in my head and forget to seek you first. Please help me to always look to you first, to seek your guidance, love, and support. Please show me and point out areas of growth in me. Please help me to always remember that I can only control me, that I should seek you and come to you when I feel flooded. Please help me to take that step back and to speak with honor. Thank you for your forgiveness, grace, and mercy!! I pray to put on your full armor today. In Jesus Christ name, Amen

"It’s through our being led of the Spirit, yielding to the truth of the Word of God that we are transformed for all eternity." Professor Kris DeJeets

November Couples Challenge Day 16
Today speak the truth with Love and Compassion. If you feel triggered, take the sacred pause, come back and try again. Remember, your spouse is not their actions, they are a Child of God and we are all in process. It is not what you say, it is how you say it and how you show up.

"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ" Ephesians 4:15

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me." John 15:4

November Couples Challange Day 15
HOPE! Sometimes when crisis and conflict hits in a relationship, hope can be hard to see, feel and find. Today we challenge you to search for the little things that are a glimmer of hope! Today journal 2 actions, behaviors or choices you've made or done to show up differently?

Remember that you can only control you, you can show up and honor your spouse even when they are not being honoring. It boils down to the choices we make. Love is a choice, Love transforms relationships.

#hope, #honor, #choices, #itsthelittlethings, #Jesus, #smalleyinstitute

"The core of society is family." Dr. Michael Smalley

You are fearfully and wonderfully made! "The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life." Job 33:4

"Are you willing to believe this chair will hold you? Come and sit in it. This is one of my favorite illustrations of belief in Jesus Christ. Many "believers" hesitate to sit down. So ask yourself, will you sit in the chair and trust Jesus Christ 100% and follow HIM?" Dr. Michael Smalley

November Couples Challenge Day 14
Today we are looking at commitment vs consumerism in our relationships. Today reflect on ways you may have had a consumerism mindset about relationships and journal about it.

Consumerism is a mindset where we think we can throw away a broken relationship, we stop engaging and avoid conflicts. We blame the other person and not do the hard work of asking, what is my part? For the escalator it is escalating, trying to fix our spouse and again, not looking at our part. Each of these is toxic and will not produce an intimate relationship.

If you're in a second or third marriage, this challenge is especially important. Second marriage spouses already know that you can start over. You are well aware that starting over doesn't mean that the problems from the first marriage are gone. They are probably just as bad, if not worse. Questions to explore: What is my part? What inside of me needs healing through Jesus? Am I trusting God? Am I surrendered to Jesus Christ?

In a covenant commitment, you have chosen with God and your spouse to live by HIS living word and commands for marriage. Love is a choice, an action, a decision, and a verb. If your marriage is struggling, if you are hurting and cannot seem to work through conflict, please reach out! We are here for you!! There is HOPE!

Text/Call ~~> 1-800-975-8748

#consumerism, #covenant, #godlymarriage, #Jesus, #forbetterorforworse, #smalleyinstitute, #smalleyinstituteintensives, #gottmanassessment

"Are you plugged into a 110 or 220? Symptoms of being plugged into a 110, short temporary happiness, looking for people, places, or things to make you happy and you're burned out. When you plug into 220 you are plugged into Christ. You will know you're plugged into Christ when you've released everything to Him, he fills you with love, peace, joy, patience, self-control, and all the fruits of the spirit. Your behaviors, responses, and choices are an example of Him! Christ is the only 220, that we can plug into." Dr. Michael Smalley

#110people, #110places, #110things, #220Christ, #220jesus, #JesusChrist, #jesusistheonlysource, #relationshipwithchrist, #michaelsmalley, #garytsmalleyschool, #smalleyinstitute

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal." Matthew 6:19

November Couples Challenge Day 13
"Respond in a kind manner." Dr. Michael Smalley

How we show up is an important part of communication. Are you responding or reacting? Tofay, we challenge you to look at your outcome communication. If you find yourself reacting and not responding in a kind manner, stop, let your spouse know you love them and need to take a sacred pause so that you can come back and respond in a kind manner.

#react, #respond, #selfawareness, #FruitsOfTheHolySpirit, #showupbetter, #michaelsmalley, #smalleyintitute, #garytsmalleyschool

"God is the change agent" Dr. Michael Smalley

#healingthroughchrist, #smalleyinstituteintensives

"The truth will set you FREE!" John 8:32

November Couples Challenge Days 11 &12
This is a three-part challenge day! It is a hard one and I promise it is worth it!!!
1. Notice what there is to notice about how you and your spouse have been moving through or getting stuck in conflict. Write out the challenges you have faced. Where in the conflict either got stuck and flooded, ON YOUR PART. Did you escalate or did you shut down?
2.Write out where there were successes!
3. When you're done journalling talk about it. Ask for forgiveness if you need to.
Remember, success is a WIN WIN solution. If one of you “wins” you have both lost.

#WinWinSolution, #selfactualization, #owningyourpart, #awarenessisthestartingpoint, #intimacy, #smalleyinstitute

Love is a choice, serving is a choice and today we honor all of The United States of America Veterans who put their lives on the line for our freedom. Thank you to all of you who have served, all who are continuing to serve and thise who have given the ultimate sacrifice. We honor you! We lift you up in our prayers!

#veteransday, #ultimatesacrifice, #activedutymilitary, #retiredmilitary, #smalleyinstitute

[11/11/20]   "There's no greater joy than walking along side another couple and being part of their story."

Michael Smalley, PhD

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen." Hebrews 11:1

#walkinfaith, #Jesus

[11/11/20]   Meet and greet for The Gary T. Smalley School of Marriage and Family Ministry, 5-day Marriage and Family Certificate Class starts in 24 hours!! If you're ready to take your ministry to the next level register today!
Register ~~> www.smalley.school/certificate