05/19/2026
Embracing the Living and Loving Artist
I've been absent from newsletters but present in my personal discovery. This year, 2026, has been Earth shattering. The brutality and bloodlust and abuse that has unfolded before our eyes by the very leaders of nations and businesses we all have come to rely on. The willingness to take what is not yours whether that be land, or money or bodies or lives. There is a savagery that has been bubbling under the surface, seeping and swallowing whatever it touches, and now it spouts into the air like a macabre geyser. We cannot stay asleep no matter how tired we may feel.
What happened to me was a crack in the heart; my compassion and rage spilling out, pouring into my hands, filling up my eyes. My confusion absorbing me to the point of immobility and denial. And yet, because I use my tools, because I know my nervous system, because I trust what is beneath... I have moved forward. I have chosen creativity over stillness. I have chosen integrity over convenience. I have chosen community over isolation.
What do you choose? What has come forward for you this year in this time of war crimes and disappearing neighbors and elevated costs and surveillance and bribery and child torture and r**e academies for men to assault their drugged wives for sport? How do you contend with it all? Are you breathing? Are you choosing and deciding what is your life? You are not alone. None of us are.
Here is what I have done to move the energy out of my body and into the free world. We are all creatives, all artists in our own fashion. I started painting. We had an art exhibition that my daughter and I did together. It was healing and powerful. I started a neighborhood group called SENA, the South End Neighborhood Alliance. I've hosted meetings to build community and we've put together whistle kits to prepare neighbors for the arrival of ICE on our streets and at our schools. We are building connection where it has been lost. One small step at a time. We are helping each other harvest and grow and fix and support our friends and families and our cars and our yards. I'm boycotting everything to do with Israel, and Amazon and Apple. The Iphone I have now will be the last I ever buy. I am spending more time in the garden, planting more food, taking it in and sending it out. I am questioning what my life is about and how I want to live it in this current world. I am hiking and writing poetry. I am being seen. I am healing with my hands.
My father died. Recently, suddenly, unexpectedly. Giving birth and experiencing death of a loved one are the same. They grab you by the shoulders and stop you in the moment. There is no yesterday or tomorrow, it is now. Only the present matters and you see things so clearly, so bright and so loud and so subtle. How did that flower bloom so quickly and how does it smell so sweet?
I felt him move through my body. This man that was my father and who loved me but couldn't tell me with his words. This man who was broken and addicted and cool. This man who texted me a bouquet of flowers the night before he died but I had not seen him face to face for three years. The energy that he became, that I felt, showed me his love. It showed me the legacy I carry forth from his cells to mine, to my children's. I have healed beyond the legacy of abuse and alcoholism and quiet pain, that is no longer my story and no longer the pathway of my genetics.
The legacy my father leaves me with and that I pass on is a love of gardening and growing. It is learning how to cook and to feel deeply satisfied by feeding people you love. He showed me the joy of travel and being open to meeting anyone anywhere. His sorrow is gone and so is mine. His pain is my purpose. His inability to heal has become my strength. What was left unsaid passes through my lips and I speak it and I feel it and I heal it. His shame has become my salvation.
And this life continues on and on and on...
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