Gray Lady Self Defense, LLC

FB? Really?

From Massad Ayoob. Widely considered a Subject Matter Expert on the topic.

https://athlonoutdoors.com/article/when-women-use-deadly-force/?

Self-Defense and the Law: Perceptions When Women Use Deadly Force Athlon Outdoors Exclusive Firearm Updates, Reviews & News

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Please be advised that as of 12/05/2025; online submissions of SC CWP Applications (NEW, RENEWALS, AND REPLACEMENTS) will be unavailable until January 2026. All SC CWP Applications should be submitted by physical application via mail service. SLED will continue to process all applications received as required by state statute. We apologize for this inconvenience and thank you for your patience during this service outage.

This is in preparation of Idemia’s new applicant platform (go-live December 8, 2025, for some locations) as well as SLED’s own applicant platform launching January 2026. Identogo will begin upgrading select locations on 12/08/2025 and will stagger the locations.

Remaining locations will be upgraded in the following week of 12/15/2025.
Existing appointments will still be honored and processed.

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to direct them to the SLED Regulatory office at (803) 896-7015 or [email protected].

Great reminder!
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A Real-World Reminder from This Week – Mocksville, NC

One of our students had his vehicle broken into a few days ago while shopping at the Walmart in Mocksville. The thief used a screwdriver to pry open the door, causing significant damage, stole several of his wife’s personal belongings, and found his cell phone hidden in the center console, which they then destroyed.

Thankfully, the one thing the criminal did NOT get was a firearm.
Our student was carrying his pistol on his person (exactly where it belongs) instead of leaving it in the vehicle. This prevented a legally owned gun from falling into criminal hands.

Quick reality check:
• The #1 way criminals obtain fi****ms in the United States is by stealing them from vehicles.
• Vehicles are broken into constantly—often in broad daylight in “safe” parking lots.
• Even the best locked console or glovebox can be defeated in a matter of seconds.

Leaving a gun in a car “just for a few minutes” is one of the highest-risk decisions a responsible gun owner can make.

Better options (in order of preference):
1. Carry it on your body (legal, secure, and under your control).
2. Secure it at home in a proper safe if you can’t carry it where you’re going.
3. If you absolutely must leave it in the vehicle for some reason, use a high-quality, tethered vault that is bolted to the vehicle—and accept that it’s still far from foolproof.

This student’s experience is a strong reminder: your firearm is safest when it’s with YOU, not sitting in a parked car waiting to become another stolen gun added to the cringeworthy statistics.

Stay aware, stay responsible, and keep carrying responsibly.

Today marked my final official, formal class. These ladies demonstrated exceptional enthusiasm and dedication to learning. I am grateful for each of them. The class featured numerous learning opportunities and epiphanies. I am thankful for the past decade of teaching, coaching, and sharing knowledge imparted by the many exceptional instructors and coaches whom I've been so fortunate to train with. This experience has been both exhausting and fulfilling. I extend my sincerest appreciation to everyone who chose to learn alongside me. Today, as with EVERY CLASS or PRIVATE LESSON, I left all my energy in the classroom and on the range!

So important! The tools AND the training could save a life! Have you taken a Stop the Bleed class? Do you have the right tools?
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The trauma surgeon held up a box of Band-Aids and said, "These are for boo-boos." Then he held up a tourniquet. "This is for saving lives."

Twenty-three parents sat in that elementary school cafeteria, and not one of us knew the difference.

I'd walked past that "Stop the Bleed" poster by the main office every day for two years. Every morning dropping Tommy off. Every afternoon picking her up. Never really seeing it.

Until the morning after Thanksgiving, when my brother-in-law nearly died in my kitchen.

He was helping prep for our big family dinner, slicing sweet potatoes with my mandoline. You know where this is going. His hand slipped. The blade went through his palm, diagonal, deep enough that I could see things moving inside that shouldn't be visible.

Blood everywhere. On the counter. The floor. Spreading faster than I could process what was happening.

My sister screamed. I grabbed the dish towels—the nice Williams Sonoma ones—and pressed hard. Blood soaked through instantly. Got more towels. Kitchen looked like a crime scene.

"Where's your first aid kit?" my sister asked.

Under the sink. The good one. The $65 Johnson & Johnson kit from Target with 140 pieces. I'd counted them once, feeling prepared.

She dumped it on the counter. Dozens of Band-Aids scattered across the blood. Little gauze squares the size of drink coasters. Antibiotic ointment. Medical tape. A triangular bandage that might as well have been tissue paper.

Nothing that could stop what was happening to Mike's hand.

Nine minutes for the ambulance. Nine minutes of me pressing towels that kept turning red while my sister tried to make tiny gauze pads work on a wound that needed... I didn't even know what it needed.

Mike survived. Needed surgery to repair tendons. Still can't fully close his hand.

The following Monday, dropping Tommy off at school, I stopped at that poster.

"Stop the Bleed: Free Training - Second Saturday of Every Month - 9 AM"

That's how I ended up in the cafeteria five days later with twenty-two other parents, listening to Dr. Marcus Chen, trauma surgeon at Regional Medical, explain why everything I thought I knew about first aid was wrong.

He started by asking us to raise our hands if we had first aid kits at home.

Every hand went up.

"Great. Now keep your hand up if your kit could stop someone from bleeding to death in three minutes."

Every hand went down.

"That's what I thought," he said. Then he pulled out two bags.

The first was a standard first aid kit, probably nicer than mine. He dumped it on the table. Picked up items one by one.

"Band-Aids. Good for paper cuts. Gauze pads. Nice for scrapes. Antibiotic ointment. Prevents infection in minor wounds. Instant ice pack. Helps with bruises."

He pushed it all aside.

"This is what you think will save your family. But here's the truth: Traumatic injuries don't care about your Band-Aids."

Then he opened the second bag. Black pouch, smaller than the first aid kit.

He pulled out a black strap with a windlass. "CAT tourniquet. Stops arterial bleeding in thirty seconds."

Next, a package labeled QuikClot. "Hemostatic gauze. Makes blood clot five times faster than normal."

Then what looked like a big piece of plastic with adhesive. "Chest seal. For penetrating wounds."

Finally, a rolled bandage unlike anything in my kit. "Israeli bandage. Applies continuous pressure better than any human hand."

"Four items," he said. "These four items address the three leading causes of preventable death in trauma. The 'Big Three Killers.'"

He wrote on the whiteboard:

Extremity hemorrhage - 60% of preventable deaths
Tension pneumothorax - 33% of preventable deaths
Airway obstruction - 6% of preventable deaths

"Your first aid kit," he pointed to the pile of Band-Aids, "addresses exactly zero of these."

A mom in the front row asked what we were all thinking: "Why don't they tell us this?"

Dr. Chen's answer changed how I see everything.

"Because we've been teaching first aid like it's 1975. Back then, tourniquets were last resort. We thought they caused more harm than good. Hemostatic agents didn't exist for civilians. Chest seals were pure military."

He paused.

"But trauma medicine advanced more in the last twenty years of war than in the previous century. What saved soldiers in Afghanistan can save your family in your kitchen. The technology exists. The training exists. The only thing missing is you knowing about it."

Then he said something that still keeps me up at night:

"Every single one of you probably drives past three preventable deaths a year. Car accidents where someone bleeds out in the seven minutes before EMS arrives. You want to help, but you don't have the tools or knowledge. So you watch. Or you press shirts against wounds while someone dies."

He was describing my Thanksgiving morning exactly.

For the next two hours, he taught us to use each item. The tourniquet was shockingly simple—position, pull, twist, secure. Thirty seconds of training. The hemostatic gauze was just like regular gauze except it actually worked. The Israeli bandage made perfect sense once you saw it demonstrated.

"How much does this cost?" someone asked.

"Less than that first aid kit full of Band-Aids. Maybe $100 for everything you need."

"Where do we get it?"

"Online. Same suppliers that sell to hospitals and military. North American Rescue. Combat Medical. It's not restricted. It's not prescription. It's just sitting there on websites, waiting for people to realize it exists."

I ordered everything that afternoon. When it arrived, I laid it out next to my old first aid kit.

One pile: 140 pieces of stuff for minor injuries.

Other pile: 4 items for major trauma.

Guess which one actually matters when someone's dying?

Three weeks later, Tommy fell off her bike. Scraped knee. I used a Band-Aid from the old kit. They're still useful for what they're designed for.

But that black pouch with the tourniquet and hemostatic gauze? That sits in my kitchen where I can reach it in seconds. Another in my car. Because now I know the difference between boo-boos and bleeding.

Dr. Chen sends emails to everyone who takes his class. Last month's had a subject line I'll never forget: "Two saves this week."

Two people who took his class used their tourniquets. One on a construction site. One at a car accident. Both victims survived because someone had the right tool at the right moment.

Not Band-Aids. Not gauze pads. Not antibiotic ointment.

The right tool.

Mike's hand still doesn't work quite right. Every family dinner, I see him struggle with his fork and remember those nine minutes. Pressing towels that wouldn't stop bleeding. Watching my sister cry. Having nothing that could actually help.

Those nine minutes didn't have to happen that way.

If I'd known what that poster meant. If I'd taken that class six months earlier. If I'd had a $30 tourniquet instead of $65 worth of Band-Aids.

The Stop the Bleed program has trained over 2 million people. Started after Sandy Hook by trauma surgeons who were tired of watching people die from preventable bleeding. Free classes everywhere. Shopping malls, libraries, schools, fire stations.

But most people walk past the posters like I did. Because why would you need trauma training? You have a first aid kit. You're prepared.

Until you're not.

Until you're standing in your kitchen on Thanksgiving morning, pressing dish towels against your brother-in-law's hand, learning the difference between what you have and what you need.

The difference between boo-boos and bleeding.

Between Band-Aids and tourniquets.

Between watching someone suffer and actually helping.

That poster's still there by Tommy's school office. Parents walk past it every day. Some probably notice it. Most don't.

Sometimes I want to stop them and explain. But how do you tell someone their first aid kit is useless without sounding crazy?

You don't.

You just hope they figure it out before they need to.

Before they have their own nine minutes.

Before they learn the hard way that everything they thought was "first aid" was really just colorful plastic for summer camp scraped knees.

The next Stop the Bleed class at Tommy's school is this Saturday. Nine AM.

The poster's right there by the main office.

Most people will walk past it tomorrow morning.

But maybe someone will stop and read it.

Maybe.

SO IMPORTANT! When you carry, you MUST set aside ego! You CANNOT escalate an incident then claim self defense!
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The best self defense tip you’ll get for handling road rage. Thanks to Budo Brothers for creating this video with us.