No Fear Healing

One of the things that hurts the most about having c-ptsd is when the people I love the most are affected by it. It's like lighting the gas can on fire while you are already pouring gas out of it into a fire. 🥺

Biking has been a game changer for me. I don't plan to race anyone, I simply love flowing with nature on the trails. Feeling the wind, watching and listening to the birds, it's all so regulating. Strongly recommend for anyone with a sensitive nervous system 🫶

When you have c-ptsd, some days you are just sad. Emotional flashbacks are so normal that they have to be pushed aside frequently just to survive. Then, one day, they just catch up to you and all you can do is cry. Cry like that younger version of you should have been able to, but never had the chance to because it wasn't safe. Today is one of those days for me. Truly grateful that I have the tools to get through days like these.

Today, I am truly grateful for the privilege of being a parent and watching my daughter grow into the person she's becoming. I'm also grateful for ...

1. Love
2. Friendships
3. All living things

PS. I went on a bike ride this morning and in my heart I felt I was going to see a deer for some reason. Shortly later, I did. It brought tears of joy to my eyes. Still not fully sure what it means, but I definitely feel like big things are happening.

Every time you abandon yourself, you give others permission to abandon you. Trust me when I say, you have people in your life that thrive off of abandoning you! At all costs, do not abandon yourself! Let them blame you. Let them talk s**t behind your back. Let them tell you you're overreacting. But for fu***ng sake, do not abandon yourself! Walk away. Choose love. Choose sanity. And most of all, choose you.

It's taken me a long time to understand that actions speak louder than words. Today, I ask myself, "What is my intention?", prior to speaking. Then, if I know my actions afterward will align with my words, I will speak the words. If I recognize that my actions will not back up the words, I will not speak them. This is the best way I have found so far to stop my people pleasing/codependent tendencies.

Fear and Faith cannot occupy the same space. Surrender, let go of the fear, and replace it with faith in yourself.