EB Coaching International

Passer d’une vallée à une autre nécessite de gravir une montagne et de passer un col, et cet effort peut se ressentir sur plusieurs plans : physique, mental, et émotionnel. Les questions fusent : Suis-je sur le bon chemin ? Qu’y a-t-il derrière ce col ? Est-ce que ça vaut le coup ? Vais-je y arriver ?

Mais une fois au col, quel plaisir d’admirer une nouvelle étendue magnifique et de ressentir une puissante sensation de liberté.

L’heure est alors venue de laisser derrière nous la vallée familière, avec peut-être un peu de nostalgie et d’appréhension face à l’inconnu, aussi attirant soit-il. Car le voyage n’est pas fini, il nous faut alors redescendre, en restant sur le bon chemin, en gérant la fatigue, avant d’arriver à bonne destination.

Toute période de transition, que ce soit un changement de poste ou d’entreprise, une reconversion, un changement de vie, ressemble à ce passage de col en montagne. Elle mêle excitation, effort, résistance, questionnement, peur de l’inconnu et besoin d’adaptation.

Où que vous soyez sur ce chemin de transition, High&Deep est là pour vous accompagner. Que vous vous questionniez sur votre vie/carrière, soyez en train de contempler le col à franchir, déjà en pleine ascension, où même dans la redescente, nous sommes là pour vous aider à vous mettre en mouvement si besoin, et à basculer pleinement vers votre nouvelle vallée.

High&Deep, c’est un programme inspirant de coaching en montagne, sur 4 jours, en petit groupe, guidé par deux coachs expérimentés (Michael et moi-même).
Plus d’infos ici : https://evanbernache.com/high-and-deep-your-unknown-quest/

Les inscriptions pour la session du 3 au 6 octobre sont ouvertes.

Si quelque chose résonne en vous, prenez rdv ici : https://calendly.com/evan-bernache

Et si vous connaissez quelqu’un en (perspective de) transition, parlez-lui de High&Deep.

EVALUATE AND BE EVALUATED

I have been part of a Toastmasters club for a few month to practice my speaking skills but even more importantly, to help me with my reflection process as it forces me to create short speeches and therefore to clarify my thoughts on certain topics.

2 weeks ago, I participated to the Prague Business Toastmasters’ contest in the “Speech Evaluation” category, where contestants evaluate the same speech and get evaluated on their own performance.

I am usually good at prepared speeches, especially because I have time to structure the speech and can rehearse a lot. The Evaluation contest is more challenging to me because you only have 5min at the end of the speech to gather your observations and thoughts, structure and memorize them and then deliver a 3min speech right away, without your notes.

As I was the first contestant to go, I didn’t have time to rehearse in my head at all. I wasn’t even done with structuring my thoughts when I was called. That’s when I decided to trust myself and commit to my speech, like I suggested in a recent snowboard story.

And I am pleased to say that I didn’t crash and ended 2nd, qualifying for the next level contest. That was a great reminder that I, and we all, can show up not 100% ready and still perform.

But I wanted to share 3 take aways that I believe can be useful to everyone in any area:

- The Power of being an Evaluator:
o Just like you learn best when you teach, you learn best when you evaluate. It really forces you to pay attention, to look for what works and what doesn’t work or could be improved, and to get out of judgment since when you evaluate, you want to be as objective as you can. And it gives you some ideas on what you can do differently yourself.
o Evaluating others gives you confidence because it puts you in the expert shoes, even when you don’t consider yourself an expert. It makes you realize that you have some value to provide no matter what your level is.

- The Power of “the evaluator being evaluated” : Seeing an evaluator being evaluated turns things upside down. It breaks the dynamic of a one way feedback and the belief that those who evaluate have everything figured out and know it all. Think about it in other areas. There is power for employees in seeing their leader receiving some feedback and working on their own stuff, at any level. There is power for a kid in seeing their parents open to feedback and working on how to be a better parent or partner. This helps keep the ego in check for those who evaluate and normalizes the process of feedback for those who receive it.

- Every evaluator brings a different perspective, sometimes the comments go in the same direction, but sometime they go in opposite direction. This helps develop some distance with the feedback, outside of the usual right or wrong perspective. And it enables to not take it personally, but just as information you can take into account moving forward.

Here is what you can practice:

- Whatever you want to develop in your job, business, sport, or life, wherever you want to grow, especially if you want to grow your confidence, put yourself in position to evaluate others and provide feedback. This will boost your skills and your confidence.

- Ask for feedback on the feedback you provide (from the person you are giving it to or from others). This will help you become better at it.

- If you are a leader, share the feedback you receive with those you lead. This will create more trust and help them better receive your feedback.

For those in Prague who are interested, the area contest will be on April 3rd at the Venue of Prague Speakers Club, i.e. Institute of Chemical Technology (VŠCHT), Technická 1903/03, Building B. It’s an opportunity to hear inspiring speeches and evaluations, and you are welcome.

Take care,

A snowboard metaphor about Commitment

I am an experiential learner. And I love real world metaphors.

My 15 years old son illustrated one last week during our winter break when we were discussing about how to do what looks to me like crazy snowboard jumps.

He said: “you have to go fast and far enough to reach the landing slope and not crash in the middle flat zone”

I thought this was such a great example of the importance to commit and not do things in halves.

If you let the fear or doubts take control, you will put on the brakes, not get enough momentum and crash in the flat zone.

It’s a matter of conviction, it’s a matter of energy.

It’s in the head and in the body.

And it’s the same in life.

Many leaders, entrepreneurs, coaches, athletes doubt their value, their worth, their ability, and these doubts act like brakes that have them crash in their prospecting and enrollment conversations, in their important speech, in following through with their new exciting project, in their athletic performance.

Of course you have to know what you are doing. You also have to go step by step (my son started with small bumps, then medium size ones, then the big ones). And you have to manage your ego. it’s OK to renounce if you are not ready yet.

But if you decide to go, fully commit, from an empowered place.

Find the sweet spot where fear maintains you focused and vigilant, but don’t hold you back.

If you want to enroll people in your vision, fully commit to it, embody it, don’t let the doubts and fear of what people will think blur your message.

If you are delivering a speech, fully commit to it, get out of your head, speak from your heart.

If you want to raise your fees, fully commit to it, own it, don’t be hesitant or back pedal.

If you want to perform in sport, fully commit to your race, your game, your fight, and don’t let negative thoughts get in the way.
It’s a matter of conviction, it’s a matter of energy.

It’s in the head and in the body.

Are you bringing the energy of commitment, or the energy of fear?

Bonus: Next time I will do something new and scary, I will repeat to myself the other thing my son said: The first one is scary, then it’s fun 😊.

IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

A common expression, which may not have the impact you wish.

In a coaching session, a client used that expression to speak about a different perspective his manager was pushing. My client was trying to explain his vision to his boss but was only getting a defensive reaction.

What is often getting in the way of closing a vision gap, or a perspective gap, is the invisible debate that is happening underneath, at a value system level.

Because our perspectives are directly derived from our value system, when confronting different perspectives, the underlying confrontation is about our values.

An the direct consequence of valuing certain things, is that we implicitly don’t value (or value less) other things, and we unconsciously consider that our values are better, as opposed to just different. It is ingrained in the word “value” itself.

Freedom, Adventure, Reliability, Integrity, Impact, Challenge, Comfort, Fun, Connection, Efficiency, Discovery, Working alone, Working with others, Well-being, Growth, Creation, Risk taking, Security, Decision making, Reflection, Competition, Peace, etc…

You can see how some values may support one another, how some may be relatively independent, how some may even be contradictory, and how you may consider some “better” than others.

If I value independence and autonomy, I might resist options with a lot of control. If I value efficiency and making projects fly, I might not be as excited to take on a project where the main goal will be to explore new avenues, gather data, but with a low probability that the project takes off.

Now the difficulty is that when we put ahead what is important to us, we may unconsciously imply that what is important to the other person is worth less, which can trigger a defensive reaction.

So it is important to make sure that the other person doesn’t feel judged in their value system when confronting different perspectives.

Saying “It doesn’t make sense” makes the other person wrong.

Saying “It doesn’t make sense to me”, is better because you take ownership of your perspective instead of presenting it as the truth. But it still makes the other person’s perspective, and therefore their values, less than yours, as opposed to just different.

So, the first step is to recognize that the other person’s value system is just different, not worth less than yours. Know the other person and see if you can make sense of their perspective through their value system. It doesn’t mean you need to agree, just to respect it.

Then make sure you convey that message. Show that you know the other person and that you honor their perspective and values.

You can do this through what you say but even more importantly through who you BE. Your Being is speaking louder than your words, and for your Being to authentically convey the message that you are not considering the other person’s values as less than yours, you first have to really recognize it internally, see step 1.

From there you can get outside of a right/wrong confrontation.

From there you can have an easier, healthier and more constructive conversation to bridge the gap, at work or at home.

Take care,