08/04/2026
We love this!
Somewhere along the way trying hard became uncool, didn’t it?
I remember school, the cool girls in PE weren’t the ones with a red, sweaty face.
They were the ones skiving off because of their periods. Every. Single. Week. Medical mysteries 🤪
Meanwhile, the ones who genuinely tried? Who studied hard? Who cared about winning? They were the weirdos.
I truly hope it’s not the case for kids now but that was certainly my experience.
And as adults you see it linger -
Someone gets a promotion and downplays it. “Oh, it just kind of happened.”
Someone loses weight and gets asked “aren’t you getting a bit obsessed?”
Someone builds their business and hears “must be nice to have all that time.”
Someone books the holiday and gets the “alright for some” comment.
The message is subtle but constant. Don’t want too much or try too hard.
I’ve done it too. Downplayed how hard I train and the work I put into the business.
But I do work hard and I do have high standards. Shrinking myself to make other people more comfortable isn’t particularly helpful for me OR them.
So if you’re one of the people putting the work in - working in the evenings, chasing something, setting standards for yourself most people around you don’t get - that’s not something to hide.
Whatever your version of it is. Losing weight, building a business, chasing a fitness goal, being a better partner or friend. Stop apologising for it.
Stop softening the story when someone asks how you’re doing.
Stop dampening your own ambition to make people feel comfortable in theirs.
None of this is about showing off, it’s about being proud of yourself - two very different things.
People who make you feel like you should shrink are just uncomfortable that you haven’t. That’s their problem to work through, not yours to accommodate.
My favourite quote is “ a rising tide lifts all boats” - when you go after what you want openly, you give everyone around you permission to do the same.
So work hard. Set high standards. Want it all. And, above all, own it!
I’m rooting for you 😎
Coach Phoebe
