My Best Friend at Work

Happy Valentine's Day! The day of love.

Have you heard or done much learning about the 5 love languages? They are meant to describe how people give and receive love in a relationship. They are:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Acts of service
4. Tangible gifts
5. Physical touch

While these are mostly used for families and in romantic relationships, there has been a lot of work done to apply these to our work and coworkers. Forbes dubbed it the "5 Languages of Appreciation at Work." Here's how you can adapt the 5 love languages to use at your job:

1. Words of Affirmation: Don't say "Great Job" in a meaningless way, really focus on what someone is doing well and describe to them what the positive impact is.
2. Quality time: have coffee with someone at work and listen with undivided attention.
3. Acts of service: help someone out with a task if they seem swamped with other tasks.
4. Tangible gifts: grabbing an extra Starbucks for a coworker is always a good idea.
5. Appropriate physical touch - don't get HR called … mmmmmkkkkK. Handshakes, high fives and fist bumps. That's all.

Do you know your love language? Have you ever thought of its applicability to work?!

Time for the final final! Part 4.

You now know your desired personal brand, how do you make it happen?

1. When you think about taking actions that are aligned with your desired personal brand, it has to be done authentically. Don't become someone who isn't authentically you - it will be exhausting and it won't last long. Example: if you are an introvert, it's probably not wise to all of a sudden think you want to be the most outgoing person. It will be too much to flex in that way, and it could appear inauthentic. Stay true to yourself, but think of ways to enhance what you are today versus change completely.

2. Be consistent. This is something that will take months or years to do, and it will take a while for others to change their impressions. Don't get discouraged. Show up how you want to be perceived consistently and things will work over time.

3. Audit yourself. As we learned in part 2 of Personal Brand, review how you are showing up and being perceived. If it's not what you want, make tweaks (if it's been long enough to make a difference).

4. Tell a trusted colleague or friend that you are trying to make a change. Get their input on how you are doing. They can keep you honest on things you may have blinders for. It's also accountability - if you tell them what you are doing, there's more chance you will do it. Their feedback along the way can help you know if your actions are working.

This isn't rocket science. However, it's harder than reading these bullets and shaking your head in agreement. This takes effort to get your Personal Brand where you want it to be. But you have the step-by-step guide, it's go time!

In order for the best buy in at work, be transparent. This doesn't mean gossiping or sharing confidential information. It's sharing the information you have with others openly, communicating what you are worried about and hopeful for, and setting clear expectations … all things you can do to demonstrate being transparent. When this is done, you will absolutely get the best buy in from peers, team members and leaders.

Time for Part 3! Defining your desired personal brand.

This is the destination. How do you want to be talked about when you aren't in the room? What do you want people to think about you when they see you walk down the hall? What is your desired personal brand?

There are a lot of great places to seek this information:

1. What are your values? These are your non-negotiables. The things that are your true north. The beliefs you fight for and will not waiver on.

2. Think about others you admire at work, how would you describe them? Which of those traits would you want to emulate in your own brand?

3. What is unique about you? What do you offer that others don't? In Part 1 of Personal Brand, there was a quote that without a brand, you are a commodity. This question helps you define how you are not a commodity. How are you valuable and not dispensable?

4. Bonus: think of what you have written down from the above questions and put them through a filter of your company's values or culture. This will ensure that you are considered "a fit" within the org.

Time for the pen/pencil to paper or fingers to keyboard. What are the describers you have come up with? Need any help with things, let me know!

I almost didn't do it, but I am glad I did.

I took my daughter to a ropes course for a birthday party a few weeks ago. I thought I would either drop her off or stay but stare at my phone while she had fun.

I wasn't expecting there to be an opportunity for me to partake in the course. I almost opted out, but I am glad I pushed past fear to do the damn thing.

I don't fear heights, but being super unstable with very little below my feet was unnerving. I was tethered in, so I felt safe while scared - funny how we can experience both of those emotions at once.

The best feeling was after it was over - I was so proud of myself.

And how applicable is this to work!? Most of what we are deciding to do - like if we should speak up in a meeting, if we should ask a leader to a meeting for some mentoring advice, or if we should apply for another job - isn't super scary like fear of heights paralyzing. And after doing it, you will feel so proud!

I once thought I wasn't "into the details". With too many details, I can start to get "in the grip" - does anyone remember that terminology from Myers Briggs training? It defines when you aren't happy about the happenings around you and get upset. Anyways - back to the point: details.

I have been keener on details in the latter half of my career. I have realized the importance of details and appreciate them more now than ever. When details are missed, it drives confusion, rework, inefficiencies and frustrations. At worst: it could drive wrong decisions.

My message to everyone reading: regardless of if you don't think you like them, details matter. Pay attention to them and deliver the details you are proud of.

Who's ready for Part 2?! Defining your current personal brand.

For any journey, it's important to know where you are today to know how to get to where you are going. Starting to understand what your personal brand is today allows you to be more conscious of how others perceive you, gives you a chance to self-reflect on your work reputation, and is an activity you can do often to check in and get feedback on your personal brand (without asking in those exact words).

We can get clues about our personal brand in many places:

1. Performance reviews. Look at your last few performance reviews. What are the themes? Attention to Detail? Timeliness of completing tasks? Make a note of things that you see and you think would be representative describers of who you are at work based on your performance reviews (or other feedback from your boss).

2. Ask someone. A best friend at work, perhaps! A trusted peer. Someone who works for you. Make sure you trust and value the person's opinion, and only ask if you know they will be honest. Not being honest on this can be sabotaging. Ask them to think of and then write down a few describers of you at work, how people describe you when you aren't in the room.

3. Self-reflect. What kinds of assignments do you get? Is there any thread of similarity that could define how someone perceives your abilities? Recognition - what is that given to you for? What do people email you about when it's not day-to-day work tasks? How do people react when you come into the room or speak in video meetings? Start to put together a view of how the messages you are getting define how you are perceived in your job today.

Let's do this with pen/pencil to paper or fingers to keyboard. The act of writing it down is powerful.

Any revelations when going through this?

2:40PM, on a Thursday in June, 2018. I had just gotten promoted. My boss took a picture. I'm not sure if he did this for every promotion he has given. I will have to ask him. One of my best bosses ever. Not only because he took this picture.

The promotion came during a performance review, in which we were going over the 4 or 5 page printed document he had written for me. It was full of thoughtful observations. Things I was doing well, where I had grown, and areas I could improve. Along with the improvement areas, there were specific tactical helpful hints and bigger picture strategic self-reflection invoking questions. I wondered how he had the time to pour so much into these twice yearly formal review sessions for all his employees.

I'd love to hear about your favorite boss.

When is the last time you asked for feedback?

Think about how you can ask for some feedback this week. Maybe it's about how you are doing on a project from the project leader or asking your boss how they think you are contributing. It's essential to be open to what you hear and not be defensive if there are opportunities for improvement (welcome those as a blessing).

It may feel a bit uncomfortable, but getting feedback from those you trust and those who will be honest with you is one of the best things you can do to know where you stand and where you can improve your career.

Let me know if you ask for feedback this week!

Personal branding is a topic near and dear, probably because I have seen the most response within the workplace to the concept of personal brand. When done well, I see people thrive and advance. When not done well, I see it being a detriment to career success.

Because it's such an important topic, I will split the areas of Personal Branding to allow for more focus. I will be sharing 4 Parts in total over the next few weeks:

Part 1 - Definition
Part 2 - Your Current Personal Brand
Part 3 - Your Desired Personal Brand
Part 4 - Aligning your Current Personal Brand to Your Desired Personal Brand

Follow along - I'll have activities for each area that you can do to understand and potentially change your personal brand.

Ready?!?!

Part 1: the definition. What is a Personal Brand? Why does it matter?

Personal Brand is the concept that everything speaks.
What you wear.
What you say.
Your attitude.
How you show up.

Read some quotes that do an excellent job of describing personal brand.

Do you agree with the concept that Personal Brand is important? If so, stick around for the remaining 3 parts to understand ALL THE THINGS about Personal Brand!

Excuse me while I take this call on the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. NBD.

Way before iPhones, even pre-black berry - this was flip phone era! I was working in customer engineering supporting a large OEM. Translation: my phone was always ringing.

I realized in this job that it didn't matter where I was - I could work and do my job well from anywhere. Which was a necessity with travel. Although it was harder - my laptop VPN connection wasn't 100% reliable, it was less common to have wifi many places which meant we had to wire in, and there was no such thing as calling into a meeting ... unless someone literally called you and put you on speaker from the phone in the conference room.

What memories do you have of jobs that were a technological lifetime(s) ago?!

Managing up. It's defined as being a critical asset to your boss. We know it's important, but how do you do it?!

Here are 3 tangible ways you can start managing up in your job:

💡Anticipate: Think about what your boss routinely asks for, and send it in advance of being asked.
👊How to anticipate: You give a monthly update in staff meetings, your boss sends an email to ask for the slides. When you have the slides ready, send them ahead of being asked.

💡Think levels up: Know what your manager is measured on so that you can prioritize your work to optimize the organization's performance.
👊How to think levels up: Your manager is measured on cycle time for project closure, ensure you hit that target to make your team and boss look good.

💡Help to shine: what things can you add or improve to make a work product shine?
👊How to help to shine: You are amazing a graph creation, share some WOW graphs in a presentation that your boss can then use in other forums.

Managing up is a key skill needed for continued career success. How can you improve your skills of management up?