Penny Lobred Coaching

12/01/2021

A. Let’s table what you’re wanting to feel and acknowledge what you actually ARE feeling. 

When you’re thinking that all of your social interaction has been taken from you with this new work-from-home environment, it makes sense that you’d be feeling lonely. Working from home isn’t making you feel lonely, believing that your work should provide you with connection is creating loneliness. Is there something else you can believe here? Perhaps you can believe that connection is available to you elsewhere?

Getting back to your desire to feel grateful, thinking that you should feel grateful for your job won’t make you feel grateful, it will make you feel guilty. I’d be willing to bet that there are parts of your life that you are truly grateful for. What are they? Can you allow yourself to feel both grateful and lonely?

adults

11/29/2021

Perfectionism is on full display during the holidays.  From the perfect decorations to the perfect party outfit, to the perfect gift for everyone, to the perfect holiday party, to the perfect holiday dinner, to the perfect family visit and of course to the perfect social media posts documenting all of it, we are bombarded by messages that everyone is doing better than we are.
 
Remember, we are imperfect beings and nothing or no one is perfect.  The images you see aren’t real and the holidays can ramp up your perfectionism tendencies and have you believing you aren’t enough.
 
You are exactly enough. There is no one, perfect way to celebrate. You are doing the holidays perfectly no matter what gets done, no matter how you look, no matter what anyone thinks.
 

11/09/2021

A: How are you choosing to define normal?  If you get back to someone right away or within a few hours, you have decided that’s the “normal” response, but your friend may think “normal” is within a few days.  Her version isn’t a deviation of normal, it’s her normal.
 
It’s entirely possible that she didn’t think the text required an acknowledgement or a response, or she meant to respond and got distracted or she typed a response and never hit send (I do this all the time).

# rvacoach

11/03/2021

Many people think these two are the same. However, there is a difference that may surprise you.
 
Confidence is based on evidence from the past.  If I ask you if you can run a 10k and you have done so in the past, you’ll probably say I’ve done it before, so I can do it again.  Your confidence is based on your ability to know you can do something because you’ve already done it.
 
Self Confidence is your willingness to feel any emotion.  When you are willing to embrace any emotion (fear, humiliation, terror, judgement) you have the self confidence to move forward and tackle anything.
 
Many of us have a fear of public speaking.  Our brains tell us we will fail. We will be humiliated.  What if we freeze or cry or fall walking on stage?  That is your brain telling you you’re not good enough or you’ve never done this before, you will fail.   Self Confidence means that you have your own back, and you are willing to fail in the worst way over and over and not make it mean anything.  You will keep trying until you have mastered failing, learning and growing.
 
I feel nervous when I present or teach to a group. I am tentative and worried that I will stumble over my words or forget my topic.  What helps me is reminding myself that I can feel nervous, and I’ll be ok.  I do know what I am talking about and even if I mix up my words or have an uncomfortable pause, It’s all ok. I’m okay.

Believe in yourself no matter what and no matter what anyone else tells you. Fail and try again. The worst thing is you will feel an emotion. Try again. Your success will come from knowing that you had your own back.
 
Your past doesn’t give you self-confidence. Other’s believing in you doesn’t give you self-confidence.
 
Self-confidence is an inside job!

10/28/2021

10/21/2021