Stephen Thomas Consulting

Hey y’all! I’m currently going through a certification program with International Coaching Federation. A part of the process is that I need to take on two brand new clients to coach this summer. If you have any problems you’re facing and would like someone to coach you through it, I’d love to help you! I will guide you through a very specific process to help you solve the issues you are facing. There are a couple initial requirements to make this work:

1) You need to be someone I don’t know. I can know who you are but I can’t know very much about you.

2) You need to be willing to commit to doing 6 session with me between now and August.

If you have any interest, DM me!

Seriously it doesn’t matter what specific issue you’d like to figure out, this process will help you!

Giving Tuesday: Leave A Generational Impact

I’m very passionate about helping men become sexually healthy & helping couples build connected marriages. Truthfully, we are living in a pandemic of brokenness in these areas.

Families are suffering because of these very issues.

The church is suffering because of these very issues.

Would you like to help?
Here is an opportunity for you to contribute to others lives in a way that creates a generational impact.

I have individuals that need help but simply cannot afford it.

Click the link below to contribute to a fund where 100% of the proceeds support individuals that need financial assistance.

Black Friday Deals Start Now!!!

www.stephenthomasconsulting.com/blackfriday

1) Individual & Couples Sessions for $110 (down from $150)!

2) Refer a Friend & Get An 80% Discount! $180 for TWO Sessions!

Purchase using the link in bio!

I like to define inner child trauma as places in our stories where we experienced pain that hasn’t been fully healed or processed. Sometimes situations from today can trigger past trauma and it feels difficult to behave like a mature adult. The best response to situations like this is to not beat ourselves up over the trigger or the desire to have an immature response to it, but to have compassion towards ourselves because of the story behind the trigger. When we actively apply compassion through expressing kindness and validation of what we’ve been through, the inner child feels seen, acknowledged and experiences connection. When we experience connection in the places of our soul where we feel unlovable, we experience healing.

In reality, it takes time to get effective at implementing the process of bringing connection to the parts of us that feel unlovable. There also can be times the inner child gets “triggered” and we don’t have time to fully process what’s going on. Sometimes the idea of “processing” feels overwhelming. What do we do in the meantime?

I like to picture myself like a car. The adult version of me is driving and sometimes when the inner child gets activated, it’s as if one of the kids in the back seat is trying to push me out of the driver’s seat. It’s important to recognize that the inner child should be loved, nourished, valued and nurtured but he should not be given the keys to drive the car. I should listen to him, pull over and have a rest stop so his needs can be taken care of. But giving him the position in the driver’s seat inevitably leads to a crash. If I crash, it hurts myself and others. It can even reinforce the child’s insecurity that he is a failure. To be a good parent to him, I want to set him up to succeed and giving him the keys at too young of an age doesn’t do that. Giving him the keys would literally destroy his life.

Keep Reading In The Comments! 👇🏼👇🏼

Let’s face it, transparency is easier than vulnerability.

What’s the difference?

Well...it’s sort of like the difference between confessing a sexual relapse to someone a month after it happens (tranparency) vs. reaching out and letting ourselves be known while we are wrestling through our triggers and/or temptations (vulnerability).

Vulnerability is speaking honestly about our weakness and frailty in the very moment we are experiencing it.

Vulnerability requires that we allow ourselves to be seen in our mess.

Vulnerability is scary, but so, so powerful.

Go on the journey of finding safe people to become vulnerable with.

Transparency will heal you some but vulnerability heals more.

P**n is the fast food of s*x

P**n teaches us that s*x comes easy...it’s only a couple of clicks away and takes little to no effort.

P**nography, like fast food, quickly satisfies a craving, but you are less healthy for it.

Building healthy s*xual connection in marriage is more like putting in the work to cook a steak dinner.

More work is required but, the results are more satisfying...and nourishing.

Many get discouraged when confronted with doing work to get something that has become a primary source of stress release. And in that, p*rnography does a great disservice to its users.

I sometimes wonder if the amount of passivity we see in men today (myself included) is a result of a hyper-s*xualized, p*rnographic culture. 🤔🤔

The truth is that nothing great ever comes easy.

And if you’re a single man wanting to get married, know that putting in work for your sobriety and relational health will work out the same muscles you will use to develop vibrant s*xual connection in marriage.

Men: want help becoming s*xually healthy?

DM me "Masterclass" to get started!

In other words, find someone who’s walked down the path you are attempting to travel and glean from their wisdom for awhile.

Stop looking for the quick fix.

Humble people keep learning and achieve great heights. This humility is a strength.

Prideful men will try to do it on their own and spin their wheels in futility. I know this very well because I’ve been that guy.

We all live under our own internal operating system. If your internal operating system has produced sexual or relational brokenness, you will need an external voice of a healthy person you trust to help you navigate the places you get stuck. You will need to trust their voice more than your own at times.

My wife and I transformed our marriage by regularly meeting with a marriage coach for 3 years!

And I had settled in myself that if I needed a coach for the rest of my life to have a good marriage, it would be worth it.

It was worth every penny.

You are worth whatever investment into yourself it takes to find and sustain the freedom you are looking for.

Start your journey now by applying for a free 30 -min coaching call here: https://x5tkvai0tnv.typeform.com/to/WxzlsKct


⁠ ⁠

So often I see people bypass their emotional pain with logic.

It sounds like this:

“My dad loved me but just didn’t know how to show it.”

Or

“Christ loves me unconditionally so I can allow myself to be accepted.”

Both of these statements may be true, but they don’t attune to the pain the person is in.

For example, if you are processing through father wounds, it’s important to allow the emotional pain to be felt in order for it to be released. Giving ourselves a helpful “thought” (logic-based) without engaging our emotional self will result in the emotional wound remaining.

People do this with Scripture too.

I always remind myself that Jesus wept before he raised Lazarus from the dead. He had the solution in mind, but it was first important to connect emotionally with those he was with.

Once we engage our emotional selves through grieving our pain, the truth we speak will become more powerful and healing.