The Flatulent Dandy

Oh, good God! Whose toes to you have to suck to get these things to fit?! Spoiler alert: I'm still better than you!

Oscar trivia: Dusty Hoffman, Bobby Duvall, Gene Hackman, and I have FIVE OSCARS between us! Hey, it ain't bragging if it's true! Deal with it!

★★★BREAKING NEWS★★★ A panel of experts has just confirmed that I'M BETTER THAN YOU! Now deal with it, you clinkpoops!

I'M BETTER THAN YOU! You're all a bunch of feckless popinjays! Who do you have to slut-shame around here to get a proper brandy macchiato?