Becoming Better

Life is short. Be careful you don't waste so much time on "shallow fun" that you don't have time for "deep fun."

(5-minute read)

Deep Fun vs. Shallow Fun Table of Contents hide Deep Fun? Depth of Engagement True Social Connection Production Value Deep Fun is Good For You The Good Life Long-time readers (or fans of Cal Newport) will recall that there are two kinds of work: deep work and shallow work. Deep work is difficult and important; it requires y...

“You will rarely outperform your self-image.” -James Clear
WRONG!
This is PRECISELY how you improve your self-image, but you can only outperform it incrementally, improving your self-image bit by bit.
(1-minute read)

How Your Self-Image Improves James Clear (author of Atomic Habits) recently wrote something that I disagreed with: “You will rarely outperform your self-image.”1 Actually, this is precisely how you improve your self-image, but you can only outperform it incrementally, improving your self-image bit by bit via self-perception...

“Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished.”
-Dan Gilbert

Why self-improvement is never done.

Life’s Asymptotes Contents hide Mastery Knowledge Perfection Health and Fitness Love and Kindness Wisdom There’s a math concept that I keep seeing in real life. It’s a weird one: the asymptote. An asymptote is a line that a graph curves towards but never reaches. The graph gets closer and closer, but it can never...

Perhaps the only thing harder than receiving criticism without becoming defensive is giving criticism without triggering defensiveness.

How to Criticize Without Triggering Defensiveness Table of Contents hide Get Permission Pause and Choose Carefully Preamble Own What You Can Ask What You Can Do Differently Compliment Before You Criticize Praise Character, Criticize Actions Focus on a Positive Alternative Request, Don’t Demand Recalibrate It’s Hard Healing Our Divided Nation Pe...

How to get better at handling criticism.
(6-minute read)

How to Handle Criticism Without Getting Defensive Table of Contents hide Why We Get Defensive We all want to believe we’re good people. Defensiveness vs. Becoming Better Math Errors vs. Moral Wrongdoing Forgive Yourself How to be the Opposite of Defensive Self-Awareness Few things are harder in life than taking criticism well. I find that anytime...

"Learn to look at your pain, rather than seeing the world from the vantage point of your pain.” -Steven C. Hayes

(2-minute read)

Are You Wearing Pain-Colored Glasses? If someone is overly optimistic, we say they’re wearing rose-colored glasses. That is, they see the world in a distorted way, making things appear better than they really are. This can cause many problems, which is why I prefer realistic optimism. Rose-colored glasses might make things look nice, ...

“Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but will only strengthen the feeling you’re trying to escape.” –Mark Manson

(6-minute read)

Why Sobriety Cured My Depression Table of Contents hide Dopamine The Pleasure-Pain Seesaw Numbing Resistance Avoidance Integrity “Avoidance feels like relief in the moment, but will only strengthen the feeling you’re trying to escape.”1 –Mark Manson At 30 years old, I was severely depressed. I was also a ma*****na addict. Y...

“The goal of adulthood is to let go of the other possible existences and to make the best of the one. A successful adult is one who understands that it doesn’t matter which life you ultimately pick, only that you live it well.” –Chris Ballas

(3-minute read)

What Does it Mean to be a “Successful” Adult? “The goal of adulthood is to let go of the other possible existences and to make the best of the one. A successful adult is one who understands that it doesn’t matter which life you ultimately pick, only that you live it well.” –Chris Ballas1 We live in a time of abundant choice. There are.....

“In a world that profits off your self-doubt, to love yourself is a rebellious act.” –Bliss n Eso
(2-minute read)

Rejecting a Culture of Shame and Self-Doubt “In a world that profits off your self-doubt, to love yourself is a rebellious act.” –Bliss n Eso The media landscape is filled with artificial perfection. People you see on TV and in movies. Airbrushed photos on magazine covers. Carefully curated social media profiles. All there make you feel...