01/01/2023
Reflecting as 2022 closes: I haven’t been one for big New Year’s resolutions and trying to become a “new me”, as advertising so often suggests, (whatever that means!) doesn’t make sense to me at all. Instead, I’m going to focus on just allowing myself to be me. All of me.
Here’s some stuff I know: So often I dim my own light. Intentionally, so as not to impact someone else or challenge their ego, and unintentionally, because I have been programmed to look for the flaws and and faults in myself and continuously try to fix them. For much of my adult life I have inadvertently viewed myself as something perpetually broken and needing fixing. Constantly working on myself to be a better person, to do better, to work harder. What I can tell you is that doing the work isn’t a bad thing, but only doing the work becomes exhausting.
So in recent years I have been reflecting a lot on all of this and I am learning to find the balance. I now value things like rest, gentleness and grace. Things that I have given myself too little of for too long. For the first time in a long time I am asking myself what I need and want in a moment. To be honest, I still default to wanting to make sure everyone else around me has what they need/want first. But I am asking myself and sometimes I can catch a glimmer of an answer.
Wishing all of you some good rest to nourish your body, some gentleness when life gets intense, and grace when we inevitably fall down. And maybe just maybe some acceptance and love for who we are.