Chris Fraize's Intdiy: It's Not the Dog; It's You

I'm sitting in the car as I write this.

Not because I have an appointment.

Because my wife sent me out here.

She knows me.

She knows that when I see a dangerous misunderstanding of dog behavior unfolding in real time, I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.

Here's what happened.

I brought her to a holistic clinic for her knee. We walked through the front door, and there wasn't a receptionist.

There was a 75-pound Shepherd/Pit Bull mix lying on a dog bed.

I said, "Hello?"

The dog looked up, showed his teeth, and growled.

The owner came out smiling and said, "Oh, he's friendly."

I replied, "Well... he's showing his teeth and growling at us."

He called the dog.

Nothing.

He called him again.

Nothing.

Finally, he walked over, grabbed the dog's harness, and physically pulled him into another room.

"That's our emotional support dog," he said.

"Great," I answered.

Yes... I actually said it.

You could tell my answer bothered him.

Looking back, I think that's because the moment reality challenged the story, the story had to defend itself.

A few minutes later he said, "I need you guys to meet the dog."

"No thanks," I said. "We're okay."

"I want him to understand you."

"No, really... we're okay."

Out came the dog anyway.

He growled at me.

He growled at my wife.

Very timid very sketchy.

The owner stood there holding him back while petting him, explaining that the dog was just being protective.

Protective of what?

Customers?

Then he told us they had rescued the dog for $1,800. He shared the story that convinced him the dog was meant to be an emotional support animal.

One day a patient had an emotional release during an adjustment, and the dog walked over and gently rested his head on her lap.

"That's when I knew," he said.

Maybe.

Or maybe that was one beautiful moment in a much bigger picture.

Before I left, he noticed the dogs on my shirt.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a canine behaviorist."

"Oh! That's wonderful!"

The irony wasn't lost on me.

He was excited to meet a dog behaviorist while completely dismissing what his own dog had been communicating since we walked through the door.

That's about the time the wife looked at me and said, "Go wait in the car."

So here I am.

Sitting in the parking lot.

Thinking.

Because this isn't really about this clinic.

I see this everywhere.

At veterinary clinics.

At businesses.

On front porches.

At parks.

In people's homes.

The dog says, "I'm uncomfortable."

The owner says, "He's friendly."

The dog says, "Please give me some space."

The owner says, "Go ahead and pet him."

The dog asks politely.

The people rewrite the conversation.

This is exactly what I teach in bite prevention.

Most dogs don't bite because they're trying to hurt people.

They're trying to create distance.

They're saying, "Please don't make me do this."

But the owner, wanting everyone to love their dog, keeps insisting on the interaction.

Eventually, the dog runs out of ways to ask nicely.

People call that "coming out of nowhere."

It didn't come out of nowhere.

It came at the end of a conversation nobody was listening to.

That's what I mean by living inside the snow globe.

We become so invested in the story we've created that we stop observing reality.

The growl becomes "protective."

The fear becomes "friendly."

The warning becomes "he just needs to meet you."

For a while, that story works.

Until it doesn't.

Then somebody gets bitten.

And after the bite, everyone says, "We never saw it coming."

The saddest part is that the person who gets bitten usually isn't the one who pays the highest price.

The dog does.

The dog loses his home.

The dog loses his freedom.

Sometimes the dog loses his life.

Not because he lied.

Because nobody believed him when he was telling the truth.

Movement is dialogue.

Safe training,
C.

Before you watch this, I'd like to ask you for one thing.

Give this video the benefit of the doubt. (Full video on my YT channel)

Every person you see in these evaluations completed a very revealing questionnaire and signed a video release before we ever met. They knew their evaluation could be used for educational purposes because they hoped their struggle might help someone else. That's courage.

You're not watching people at one of the hardest moments of their lives. You're watching them at one of the most vulnerable, honest, and perspective-changing moments of their lives. This happened years ago. The evaluation is over. The decisions have already been made. The dog has already found peace.

Now it's your turn.

As you watch, pay attention to yourself. How many times did you catch yourself thinking, "That's me," "I know someone like that," "I never thought about it that way," or "I don't like what's happening right now?" Those moments matter because that's your evaluation.

Watch the entire video. Don't just watch the dog... watch yourself. Every time the dog moves, you'll feel something. You may feel pity, anger, frustration, compassion, or love. When you feel... you move. I promise you. Be accountable for your own behavior while you're watching because your movement will tell you what you're thinking long before your words ever do.

Please don't watch this owner so you can judge her. Watch the dog. The dog can't lie. Watch what the dog believes. Watch what the dog has learned. Watch how quickly the dog begins to change when someone finally stops treating symptoms and starts helping the owner understand the dog.

At the end of this video, this dog experiences peace... not because of a collar, a leash, a treat, medication, or a tool. This dog finds peace because someone finally helped the owner understand the dog.

"It's Not the Dog. It's You." isn't an insult. It's a promise.

If the problem were the dog, there would be very little hope. But if the dog has learned from us, then there is hope. We can learn. We can change. And when we change, the dog's world changes too.

The G.O.D. (Gift of Desperation) Evaluation Case Studies are free on YouTube because I believe everyone should have the opportunity to watch them. They're educational, they're entertaining, and they're emotional... but they're only the beginning.

If you're interested in the Dogsmanship breakdown, join me and my guests on the Dogsmanship tier on Patreon. That's where we slow the evaluation down and talk about the reality of dogs. We don't spend our time treating symptoms. We work to understand the problem, because understanding is what brings dogs peace.

I don't ask anyone to agree with me. I ask them to watch, to listen, and to be willing to question what they think they know. If that sounds like something you're interested in, you'll know where to find us.

The dog can't lie.

Watch. Listen. Decide for yourself.

Safe training,
c.