The Humble Pie-Let’s start from scratch

My dad used to tear up at history. Not so much at funerals. History. He'd stop on a trail, sit on a log, and describe Squanto coming home to an empty village as if he were watching it in real time.

He'd ask me, "Can you imagine the grief?"

I was eight. I couldn't.

But I kept the question.

Some griefs get monuments. Others leave no ruins. The village is still technically standing. Nobody died in a way that gets documented. But you came home one day, and everyone was gone in a way nobody else could see.

If that sentence landed somewhere in your body, this one's for you.

Full blog piece in the comments

People spend years trying to recover from rejection. But some of us were never seen in the first place. That’s a different wound.

The more we know, the more we need something to do with it.
Meaning isn’t optional. It’s the thing that makes information land somewhere.

You’re on a plane. Turbulence hits. And almost without thinking, you look at the flight attendant.

Not because they can do anything about the turbulence. Because something in you knows, a calm nervous system in the room will tell yours where to land.

That’s co-regulation. And it’s the closest thing to a working definition of secure attachment I’ve found.

This episode reframes the whole thing. Not a gift some people got in childhood. A skill. A capacity. Something you can actually build.

Episode 10 of the Attachment Styles series, link in first comment.

I was my own enemy for years because I didn’t love myself enough to know that I deserved better.

If this is where you are right now, I want you to know, recognizing it is the first move. That’s not nothing. That’s everything. 1:1 coaching available, see bio

Most people chalk it up to being too much. It isn't that. It's a compass that was calibrated in a place where love felt like suspense.
Episode 9. Attachment Styles Series, link in comments.