03/31/2017
Field Data: "THE SICKEST DRUMMER WANTS TO JOIN YOUR BAND (Ornge/Rockland)
Yo Bitchez!
My name is Randy and I play drums. I hit hard, REAL HARD… and I’m looking to join your group. I prefer to play rock, punk, or thrash metal. Not into sissy s**t. Randy already has a girl…so I’m looking for real rockers that play music with some f**kin’ balls man!
I ain’t trying to be in a cover band. Maybe one or two here and there, no top 40 s**t either . For that matter, not into radio rock neither. Nuff nickel hack cracks out there, ya know? Looking to play devil horned rock, punk, or even garage rock. Seriously… I’m weird as s**t and Jesus is my homie, so our band is destined to be an awesome force. It has been pre-determined by the warlords, that badassery is coming soon! Hell yeah MOFOS!!!
Anyways, I listen to all kinds of rock, from early Crüe, Teenage Head, Bu****le surfers, Blue Oyster Cult to Stooges. But I ain’t into no sissy, “I’m depressed and a vampire,” bulls**t goth rock. Likewise, don’t taunt me with your emo band…..“ I’m sad , cause my girl left me cause I couldn’t lay the bone right”…f**k da bulls**t that plagues the airwaves!!! I love killer, facemelting eat your face off, attacking rock n roll FOOLS!!
Been playing drums for about 18 years and have been in a few bands, nothing worth mentioning, but I do have experience. I’m not some fancy pants Keith Moon clone, or Tommy Lee spinning jackass…but I can keep a beat and I don’t ride my cymbals all fu***ng day long. Also I can sing backing vocals if needed, even got my own headset mic…..I’m “Handy Randy”
WARNING!!!! I am what most would consider a fu***ng redneck. I like to shoot guns, go mudding and drink blackberry moonshine. Yup, I make deer jerky, and I’m all about sharing with the band. And often I wear snakeskin boots & a gator tooth necklace. I’m all business in the front and party in the back and that ain’t changing… But, I’m not some drunk ass dick, that’s gonna fall off the throne halfway through the set. I don’t light my cymbals on fire or shoot bottle rockets out of my as***le. I don’t own any dragon shirts." (Full post on tumblr )